A lot of women find themselves asking, “Why does a guy just want to be friends after dating?”
Some people might feel that it is just a courteous way to end a relationship, as he cannot ask to be left alone at once that soon. Others might feel that there’s more to it. So let’s explore the possibilities!
Why does a guy want to be friends, after dating?
It is not uncommon to feel that you have been wronged or that you are being treated unfairly after a breakup. However, this can be an opportunity for growth.
It is important to remember that the guy who dated you but now wants to be friends with you, may not show you the side of him that you had access to when you dated. Since your role in his life would’ve changed to being a friend, it’s natural that you can’t expect more. He might now be closer or more distant from you depending on the type of friendship he seeks, that’s if he’s even honest about seeking friendship. Let us explain!
When guys want to stay friends after breaking up, there are only three possible scenarios or reasons for this. And, we will go through each of them:
1- He wants to keep an eye on you:
If he just wants to keep an eye on you or keep you around, in case he wants to keep you as a dating option, then he won’t really be a friend. He might be asking to be a friend, but in this scenario and if these are his intentions, the best he’ll do is keep you around.
He will only ever contact you if he got too desperate, is not finding someone who fits his criteria, or if you suddenly start looking spicier on your social media! Make sure you assess the situation and see which one it is?!
2- He truly wants a friendship:
On the other hand, and if he actually starts getting close to you, telling you stories, and spending a lot of time with you, then he might actually be after a friendship.
In this case, he probably didn’t feel attracted enough to you to date you, but he thought your personality is fire and wants to add you to the list of his close friends. You have no reason to complain then, it is fair and just!
3- He wants nothing to do with you:
The third possibility and if the guy seems like he doesn’t want anything to do with you and only asked to be friends but in reality, he never reached out again after that, then it may be best not to take things personally.
This guy at least had the decency not to want to use you as an option and keep you around, just in case he got too lonely, too lazy to look for a compatible match, and too desperate.
So which one is the worst scenario?
Clearly, asking you to stay friends is not always a good thing when the person just wants to have a way of contacting you again in the future like your social media or number.
Because even though some might mean nothing by this, others might have bad intentions and only want to use you as explained earlier. So, they would’ve already decided you’re not their cup of tea but want to keep you at hand nonetheless, just in case. One cold rainy evening, they might dial your number or send you a text out of the blue.
In that case, you can accept their invitation or go on a date with them again but don’t think your relationship will survive. Chances are there will be no romantic relationship, nor are you gonna become best buddies. Indeed, most situations like these end up in what we call in today’s world: “Situationships”.
Should you stay friends after having dated?
If you only dated for a short period of time and came to the conclusion that it’s not gonna work then: Yes, you can part ways amicably.
That’s only if you’re not real exes or haven’t had a true relationship but only saw each other for some time. In this case, you can stay friends or stay in touch, not to end things too abruptly. You can do that at least for some time until both of you get too busy to meet or talk.
Again, this section is only for people that choose to stay friends after having dated a little bit and not for people that have dated and had full-on relationships, intense emotions, and a proper breakup. If you want to stay friends with a true ex, then check out this article instead for boundaries for being friends with an ex.
So, if you’re at the right place and think about staying friends with someone you only dated shortly then it will be smart to consider the following first:
1- Be ready to never mention your dates again:
It is common knowledge that the best way to stay friends after having dated is to avoid talking about “what once was”. However, it’s not always possible. In some cases, you can talk about your dates, laugh about them and even learn more about what you’ve done wrong.
2- Don’t compare yourself to his future dates:
If he happens to have found someone he actually likes or finds interesting, then it is better not to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to their new love interest. Even though he only just dated you and never was something more, it is still possible for you to get caught up in silly comparisons or think you’re not good enough.
3- Don’t have hopes:
While it may be hard to stay friends with someone who you dated even for a short time, it is possible. It can be done if you can manage your emotions, not catch feelings, and not let them lead you on nor get in the way of you finding your soulmate.