Some men are willing to have a baby with their partners but they’re not willing to marry them. This has baffled women for ages and it’s very complicated to understand why that is. To help with that, today we will discuss 5 reasons why a man would want a baby but not marriage.
It is not okay at all for a man to suggest you have a child together without being married. Why? Because it signals a lack of commitment to you and the relationship itself. You are not a baby-making machine, you are a person and your desires matter as much as his.
5 Reasons why a man would want a baby but not marriage:
1- He’s not financially stable enough:
Weddings are expensive, and so are honeymoons and moving in together. He could be afraid to commit to that before he’s stable enough to see it through. However, if he’s not financially stable enough to get married, how can he be financially stable enough to have a child?
Raising a child is also expensive and it’s a huge financial commitment because you have to provide for your children until they’re at least 18. Moreover, you don’t need to have a lavish wedding.
If he truly wants to get married, you can figure things out even if you’re on a tight budget, and then have a baby together if that’s what you want. So in this case, what’s his excuse?
2- He’s not emotionally ready for marriage:
Marriage is emotionally complex and it takes the relationship to a whole new level. Some men don’t have the emotional maturity or intelligence to commit to it. This means that you’re dating a man who is, at some level, emotionally unavailable, which is not ideal. They’re not ready to take on the responsibilities that come with marriage.
There are many reasons why men would be emotionally unavailable. Perhaps they had a traumatic relationship in the past, but other times it can be caused by childhood trauma or a fear of commitment. If he’s willing to work past it and resolve his issues, that’s great.
But he has to do that before you can even consider having a child. Why? Because raising a child is also an emotional commitment. He can’t have one but not the other, it doesn’t work that way.
3- He was married and it failed:
If the man you’re dating has been married before and the marriage failed, he could be hesitant to go through that again. However, if that’s the case, you have to wonder… Why is he so scared the marriage will fail? Does he not think your relationship is on solid ground? Does he not love you enough?
Those things are not an issue on their own, though. Relationships take time to develop, so it’s okay to feel like you’re not ready yet. You will be if you’re committed to the relationship.
But if you’re not, the idea of marriage can be particularly frightening. Also, if he doesn’t think the relationship will succeed, why would he think having a baby together is a good idea?
4- He wants to see other people:
A man who is willing to have a baby with you but not settle down might be trying to keep his options open.
Maybe he loves you so much he wants to have a baby with you, but he doesn’t love you enough to choose you as his life partner. Maybe he doesn’t love you enough to settle down. It’s harsh, but it’s true in many cases.
If a man thinks that he can still meet someone better, that could be why he’s not willing to marry you but he will still consider having a baby with you.
Maybe because he doesn’t want to miss out on his chance to become a parent, just in case he doesn’t find someone better than you that he can marry and have children with. If you suspect this might be the case, confronting him about it can help you get to the truth. Or maybe not, if he’s a sly manipulator.
5- He wants to make sure you’re marriage material first:
Some men need to be certain the woman they’re with is marriage material. So, one of the reasons a man would want a baby but not marriage is to see if you can have children and what type of family you can build together before settling down. It’s crazy, but it does happen.
However, let us remind you that living together is a perfectly acceptable way of testing if someone is marriage material or not. Living together will allow you to get to know each other better and see if you can create a dynamic that works for the long term. There’s no need to have a baby with someone to determine if you want to marry them.
If the man you’re dating wants a baby but not marriage, that’s a red flag.
Making you choose between one or the other is not fair and you have to assess the relationship to make the best decision for yourself and your future. Check this article out on why a man would want to keep you around, but not fully commit or marry you ever.