When you are in a relationship with someone who is not giving you their best, it can be frustrating and even painful. It can make you feel like they aren’t committed to the relationship nor care enough about your feelings.
This is why in today’s article we explain why you should never accept the bare minimum when dating or in a relationship. Instead, you should have standards, expectations, and wants not just needs that have to be met!
This will in turn benefit the relationship rather than harm it and make it stronger, mesmerizing, and fascinating, and here’s why!
What does it mean to be given the bare minimum?
The bare minimum means just that, the minimum amount of things that a person needs to perform a specific task. Being given the bare minimum means that you’re given strictly only the tools that are absolutely necessary for the completion of a task.
In other words, you’re not offered any extras, bonuses, treats, or luxuries that can make it more comfortable or easier for you to complete that specific task. It is the most basic level of living and it is defined by what society deems as necessary.
The bare minimum for humans to live would be food, water, shelter, and clothing as our bodies are not equipped to naturally survive bad weather conditions. For animals, the bare minimum to live would be food and water. For plants, it would be light and soil.
What does it mean to be given the bare minimum in a relationship?
When you are in a relationship, there are certain expectations that you should have. Having low standards for yourself or no expectations from your partner or date is a horrible idea, as it could lead to making them neglect you, feel bored, or even unchallenged and non-engaged.
When you have expectations and refuse to only receive the bare minimum in a relationship, you’re not only doing yourself a favor but helping the relationship too. In order for a relationship to survive all life struggles, ups, and downs, it should be thrilling, challenging to some extent, and rewarding.
1- Why asking for the bare minimum in a relationship is not okay:
Some people proudly claim, when complaining about a lazy, non-engaged, or uninterested partner, that they’re asking for the bare minimum in the relationship. Doing so is not okay and not only negatively affects your dignity, self-respect, and self-esteem but it hurts the relationship too.
Expecting from your partner doesn’t mean that you should set high standards that they cannot afford to reach regardless of how hard they try. Instead, it means to put responsibilities on yourself and on them too: to be original and creative, go on dates, travel together, and do things to keep it all spicy, etc.
Making it clear that you will not accept a relationship that doesn’t add any value to your life but only takes you off the dating scene, is key when setting standards. Accepting the bare minimum in a relationship means having low standards, no expectations and just considering your partner to be your significant other because it’s been like that!
Your partner or yourself could be not having any deep conversations, not going on dates, not spoiling one another, not being connected anymore in any way, or doing anything special for one another, etc. Yet, it is expected from you and them to perform your “duties” as partners towards each other tastelessly.
2- What to do about a partner or boyfriend who does the bare minimum:
The bare minimum in a relationship is giving the other person strictly and only what they need from you, with no interest in offering extras that could be given just to make them happy, more content, and grateful to have you.
In this case, there’s no interest in strengthening the relationship by creating a deeper bond with your partner. Instead, there’s just a routine performance of duties to keep the relationship alive at minimum effort and minimum cost.
Obviously, this is not okay, and if you feel your partner has fallen into this trap then it is your right not to accept the bare minimum and fight for more. In this case, you have to have an open and transparent conversation with your partner about what you want and expect. You have to also explain how important it is for you to get these things.
If after many calm sit-downs with your partner and wise discussions, you see no effort on their part to work on things, you can tell them clearly that you will not accept the bare minimum anymore. Don’t panic, much. Most probably, a conversation like this will not put your relationship at risk if you’re worried about breaking up.
Instead, it could turn the relationship into a beautiful fairytale over time as your partner and you make it a necessity to spoil one another and do more for each other. That’s simply because refusing to accept the bare minimum in a relationship is a statement in itself that will show that you have self-respect and standards which can be attractive.
Also, giving a purpose, challenge, or mission to your partner is key here as it is instinctive for humans to love winning challenges, working towards a purpose, or completing a mission. It is always pleasant and a lot better than living pointlessly, with no personal life goals or aspirations.
If you want to reconnect with your partner and create a renewed bond with them, here are some deep questions to ask in order to explore their mind and get to know them better. Alternatively, you can check our article on the importance of having boundaries in a relationship or this one on why you should choose yourself and leave if he won’t commit!