It can be an awkward phase when you are still in contact with your ex, but they seem to have moved on with someone else.
They feel it too which might lead them to try and hide their new relationship from you. If this bothers you, find out a few reasons why your ex might be doing that so you can better understand it.
5 Reasons why your ex is keeping their relationship secret:
1. They fear your judgment:
This is even more relevant if it was you who decided to end the relationship. Your ex was probably left feeling that they weren’t enough for you, therefore, whoever they pick to date next might fall short too.
Of course, you shouldn’t wish for your ex to be unhappy, quite the opposite. Maybe your ex hasn’t told you that they are seeing someone new because they don’t want to be judged by their choice.
If you broke up a while ago, the best thing you can do is encourage your ex to feel free about their dating choices. If necessary, tell them that you only wish for them to be happy. In the end, if your relationship didn’t work, but your ex is now happy with someone else, isn’t that person a better fit for them than you were?
2. You managed to remain friends and they don’t want to ruin that:
Another reason why your ex might be hiding their new relationship is that you both were finally able to find a good friendship dynamic. When couples break up but spent a long time together they usually try to remain friends as a way to still be part of each other’s lives and not break that habit so abruptly.
It’s great that you managed to stay good friends, but the downside is that there are feelings still involved. That’s why your ex doesn’t want to introduce their new partner just yet.
They are hoping to consolidate the newfound dynamic and make sure that you are doing alright before introducing a big change in your life. Essentially, this means that your ex still values your presence in their life and doesn’t want to ruin that.
3. They think you can’t handle it:
It’s normal to take time to heal from a break-up, and if you think that your ex is oblivious to the fact that you are still suffering think again.
Your ex suffered from the break-up too and knows better than anyone what you may be feeling. The only difference is that they managed to move to the next healing phase before you did. Maybe your ex is in a rebound relationship and didn’t even fully move on yet, who knows?
It’s because of this that they are afraid to tell you that they are in a new relationship. They put themselves in your shoes and thought about how hard it would be if they were still suffering and you introduced your new date. They are mainly doing this because they want to protect your feelings and make sure you heal without unnecessary obstacles thrown in your path.
If you find out from someone else that your ex is in a new relationship, go talk to them directly. Tell them that even though you haven’t been able to heal you eventually will and you only want what’s best for them.
4. They are trying to shield the new person they are dating from any possible harm:
You need to take into consideration that your ex could be trying to protect not only your feelings but those of the new person they are dating. It’s only natural that they want this new relationship to go well, and making their new date feel insecure can hinder things.
Your ex may be trying to build trust in their new relationship and make sure you don’t say something to the new date and hinder that. Similarly, if your ex brought you up in the conversation constantly when they are with a new date or make comparisons, that could harm their new relationship too.
So maybe your ex simply saw no need in talking to you about his new date nor in talking to his new date about you. This is their way of maintaining peace.
Unfortunately, if you broke up recently you could still be seen as a rival, which can complicate their new relationship and even your friendship with your ex. So maybe they made a good choice in keeping the relationship a secret.
5. They are very invested in making the new relationship work:
It’s only natural that after a break-up and entering into a new relationship you want to avoid making the same mistakes you did in your past relationship. You are very interested in this new person and you are willing to do everything not to lose them. This may very well be your ex’s thought process. They like this new person more each day and they are determined to make the relationship work.
You might be led to think that this could just be another rebound relationship that will fail, and that’s why your ex hasn’t told you directly about it, but it could mean the opposite. It could mean that they want to steer their new relationship away from potential threats, and unfortunately, they see you as one.
They don’t want things to get messy and the limits blurred, so for now they want to separate everything until they feel more confident about their relationship. In the end, if you’re convinced that this is merely a rebound relationship then check this article out on how to get an ex back from a rebound if that’s what you’re after.