It’s happened to all of us: we’ve been friends with someone for years, and then they suddenly change when they get into a relationship. They start spending less time with us, they’re always busy, and they seem totally different.
It can be really confusing and frustrating, but there are actually a few reasons why friends change when they get into a relationship and that’s what we’ll be addressing in this article.
5 reasons why friends change when they get into a relationship:
1- Their priorities change:
First of all, your friends may change when they get in a relationship because their priorities change. When you’re in a relationship, your partner becomes your number one priority, and everything else comes second.
Their significant other has become the most important person in their life and so they naturally spend more time with them. This can leave you feeling like you’re being pushed to the sidelines, but it’s important to remember that it’s not personal.
It’s not uncommon for friends to start acting differently once their partner is in the picture. They may start to act like their entire world revolves around their partner, alone. In some cases, they may become more concerned with their partner’s needs and wants than their own. While it’s natural for friends to do this when they transition from being single to taken, it can be difficult to adjust to the new dynamic.
Friendships are built on shared experiences and time spent together, so if your friends are spending more time with their partner, it’s only natural that the friendship will change. The good news is that friendships can adapt and change over time, so even if your friends are in a relationship, there’s no reason why you can’t still be close.
2- They don’t need their old friends anymore:
Also, some people simply change when they’re in a relationship because they don’t need their friends anymore. There are different reasons why someone would believe that they don’t need their friends when they get in a relationship.
For instance, they could be happy and content, and they don’t feel the need to seek out friends or people other than their partner. It’s true, so good for them! But friends aren’t only meant for sad times.
So a more common possibility for why they don’t need their old friends is that they start to take on the traits of their new partner, including their taste in friends. This may mean that whatever little time they have to spend with friends, they’re already spending it with their new friends who are also their partner’s circle of friends, maybe. If that’s the case, it will be hard for them to squeeze in their own old friends too in their schedule.
Additionally, their partner often replaces their friends in terms of emotional support, meaning they don’t turn to their friends as much anymore. As a result, it’s not uncommon for friends to grow apart once they get into a relationship.
These are all possible reasons why your friends will stop having a need to even keep you in their life, once they get into a relationship. It could be that they feel like they simply don’t need their old friends anymore now that they’re in a relationship.
3- They don’t have time for friends anymore:
Relationships can be time-consuming, so your friend may simply not have as much time to spend with you. It could be that they’re simply too busy spending time with their new partner to maintain their friendships.
They might not mean to, but it’s natural to want to spend more time with the person you’re dating than with your friends. While it can be tough to see a friend change when they get into a relationship, it’s important to remember that it doesn’t always mean that they don’t care about you anymore. They might just be going through a lot of changes in their life or don’t have any free time anymore.
If your friend has changed since getting into a relationship, try to be understanding and give them some space. Chances are, they’ll eventually come back to you when they adjust to their new relationship and have more time for friends if this is the case.
4- Their partner doesn’t like sharing them with others:
In some cases, your friend’s new partner might be jealous of your friendship and try to come between you. Their partner may also be too possessive and controlling but unfortunately, nothing you do can wake your friend up from their trance and new infatuation. It can be tough when friends get in relationships because it feels like suddenly you have to compete for their attention.
And sometimes, you just don’t measure up. If your friendship starts to change after your friend gets into a relationship, it’s important to talk to them about it. Otherwise, you might find yourself feeling left out and alone. It could be that their partner simply doesn’t like sharing them with others, and so they start cutting back on their time spent with friends.
Alternatively, it could be that they’re feeling insecure in their new relationship and clingy towards their partner as a result. In the latter case, their partner might be innocent and they’re probably the ones that like to be joined-to-the-hip to their partner. And, this will bring us to the next point.
5- They don’t want to spend a minute away from their partner:
It’s a sad but all-too-true fact that many friendships change when one person enters into a romantic relationship. Suddenly, that person is no longer available to hang out or go on adventures. And the reason may be as simple as the fact that they don’t want to spend one minute away from their partner, so everything else in their life falls by the wayside.
They may not even want to invite their partner to go out with their friends, all the time. After all, why would they? You are that person’s friend and not their partner’s friend. Their partner might be an introvert and not want to tag along. Or, they might not want to expose their relationship to their friends’ criticizing and scrutinizing eyes, by hanging out with them as a couple all the time. So in this case, it’s just more convenient for them to stay with their partner alone, instead.
As a result, friends can feel hurt and abandoned, as though they’re no longer important to the person they thought was their friend. It doesn’t have to be this way, but often it is. Friendships can survive when someone gets into a relationship, but it takes effort from both parties to make it work.
There are some ways to deal with the situation. One is to simply reach out and try to spend time with them, even if they’re not always available.
Another is to accept that they might not be the same person as they were before and make peace with the fact that the friendship might not be as strong as it once was. Whatever you do, remember that friendships are important and worth fighting for, but you can only do so much on your own.
If your friend is not reciprocating your efforts to keep the friendship alive then check this article out on what to do about friends that don’t reciprocate.