When we are someone who is by nature or by default very peaceful, open-minded, and doesn’t judge others, we find it odd to see others be judgemental and fault-finding. The thing about judgemental people is that they have a superiority complex.
They think or try to appear like they are above someone or a group of people. But why do they act like this, and why does it make them happy? Here are some reasons for how a mind of a judgemental person works.
8 reasons that cause people to be judgemental:
1. They have a low self-esteem:
Surprisingly enough, judgemental people suffer from very low self-esteem. Their insecurities could be about anything. They could be insecure about the way they look, their failures, or their poor social skills, for example. So they think others have similar insecurities and thoughts about their own selves and they try to target them to make them sad.
What makes it worse is that they are extremely aware of the insecurities that they have and that pushes them to judge. They automatically think of themselves as inferior, and they can’t stand that. Instead of working towards being a better person, they find it easier to bring others down with them.
2. They are used to being judged since their childhood:
Unfortunately, not everyone lived in a safe emotional space when growing up. Due to hundreds of different reasons, there are parents who can be unsupportive of their children in an unhealthy way. Because of this, their kids grow up in an atmosphere full of criticism that was many times directed towards them too.
When they reach adult age, they don’t know anything different but what they experienced at home, so they will carry on with their lives in a similar way and take the role of the abuser. If you had a toxic mother, perhaps you’d want to work on healing, moving on, and even reconnecting with her emotionally, if that’s your wish.
If you had a toxic or traumatic childhood for different reasons then you may want to check this article instead, to help you walk toward recovery and healing.
3. They want to appear perfect and with no flaws:
Judgemental people can’t stand to always see flaws when they look at themselves. They think that bringing to light other people’s flaws will diverge the attention from their own. They probably didn’t even realize that people are more worried about their own lives to have time to think about other peoples’ flaws. So they try to conceal and cover theirs by exposing others’ faults and shortcomings.
Unfortunately, with the boom of social media, judgemental people found an outlet to let out their frustrations. These are the ones that cause the very known “hate comments”. They believe that criticizing the flaws of someone very openly online, will make them feel better.
4. They make comparisons:
Making comparisons from a stand of superiority is another way judgemental people establish their importance over others. By comparing someone in a negative way to themselves they are essentially letting that person know that there would be no way they could one day be as good as them.
They could also do this in an internal monologue. While watching TV or walking outside, they notice someone who could be a threat to them and start making comparisons, in order to feel better about themselves. Check out this article to help you stop comparing to others on social media and feeling bad about yourself.
5. They feel safe, when they are in control:
Because judgemental people are very insecure, they feel the need to control every aspect of their life. Because only a sense of constant superiority would make them feel relaxed, they will try to control and manipulate people and situations to make themselves be portrayed in a good light.
But since the sense of security will never arrive until they actually deal with their insecurities, their need for control will only increase.
6. They envy other people:
In a general way, judgemental people are envious of other people or situations. They don’t understand why they can’t have the same life as a certain person.
But because they realize that they will never be able to be like someone they idolize, they will find ways to criticize them instead to stop feeling bad about their own selves. This way they try to convince themselves first that the person they envy is not so great or worthy.
However, envy can never be a good thing and it only consumes people. It’s an obsessive feeling that is triggered every time something goes wrong in their life or when they are reminded of the person they envy.
Check out this article to learn the difference between envy and jealousy. Because there are people who may be jealous of your success, beauty, youth, or lifestyle but they may still not be envious.
7. They don’t see the point in being neutral:
Judgemental people value their own opinions to an extreme. They form opinions about a certain subject and they can’t be changed to become okay or neutral. Judgemental people tend to bring their opinions into every situation they can.
They are desperate to be heard and do not restrain themselves from saying something hurtful, because they know that will catch people’s attention more.
Even though they will rarely be taken seriously for making statements that aren’t based on anything; they may still get a person or two’s attention and approval. And, that’s what they live for!
8. They think they are entitled to something:
People who criticize others a lot, usually do so because they think they are entitled to it. They think they are fully right about what they are saying and don’t understand why it is not their place to make similar comments.
Judgemental people Think they are always right and, because of it, they should be sought for advice, which they think will grant them a sense of superiority.