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Who should come first your spouse or your children?

Who should come first your spouse or your children?

As parents, we often face difficult decisions that can impact our families in significant ways. One of the most challenging questions that parents must grapple with is: Who should come first, your spouse or your children? While this question may seem awkward or uncomfortable to answer, it’s a crucial one that must be addressed if we are to create healthy and loving relationships within our families. And what better place to finally give you the right answer other than on a website specializing in relationships and couple matters?

In this article, we’ll explore the different perspectives on this issue and offer some insights that can help you make the best decision for your family. So, let’s dive in and explore this important question together.

Why we should not rely on our kids for emotional balance?

Parents have a vital responsibility to love and care for their children, providing for them in every way possible. However, it’s essential to understand that children should never be relied upon to provide emotional balance for their parents. This is a role that only a romantic partner can play, and when parents put such a burden on their kids, it can lead to heartbreak, jealousy, and other negative emotions when their kids finally grow up and find a partner of their own.

Children should be loved and cared for unconditionally, but it’s important to recognize that they are not our romantic partners and should not be expected to fill any emotional void we have. When we expect them to fulfill that role, we can end up putting too much pressure on them, creating an unhealthy dynamic that can have lasting consequences. In the end, the person that we should expect to be with us forever and right until our deathbed is our life partner. Of course, these expectations from our partner strongly rely on mutual respect and love too.

As parents, we should do everything in our power to ensure our children feel loved and secure. We should be there for them when they need us, and provide them with the support they need to thrive. However, we should also be mindful of the fact that there is a unique and irreplaceable bond that only exists between romantic partners. When we try to replace that bond with our children, we risk damaging our relationship with them and creating unhealthy patterns that can destroy families. This is especially true when the kids are old enough to find their other half and start their own families. A mother-in-law that has a fulfilling relationship with her partner will know how to appreciate her daughter-in-law when the time comes to have one. she will also know how to give her space and love without stepping on her toes or worrying about losing her spot in her son’s heart to his new wife.

In conclusion, parents should do the absolute most for their kids but never rely on them for emotional balance. By recognizing and respecting these boundaries, parents can create healthy, fulfilling relationships with their children that will last a lifetime.

What can we expect from our children once they’re old enough?

While it’s important for parents not to rely on their children for emotional balance, this is not to say that parents should not expect anything from their kids. Parents have every right to expect their children to show respect and love, just as they provide those things to their kids. It’s a two-way street that requires mutual care and consideration.

Children can give back to their parents in many ways. They can show appreciation for the sacrifices their parents have made for them, provide opinions and feedback on any topic when needed, and be a source of pride and joy for their parents. These are all ways that children can contribute to their parents’ lives and make them feel loved and valued. As children grow up and create families of their own, it’s essential to maintain a balance between their responsibilities to their parents and their new family unit. It’s possible to show love and respect to both without sacrificing one for the other.

In conclusion, respect and love should always be present in the relationship between parents and their children. While it’s important not to rely on children for emotional balance, parents have every right to expect these things from their kids. As explained children should always maintain a healthy balance between their responsibilities to their parents and their own family unit. By creating a loving and supportive environment, families can thrive and grow together.

Why we should always expect more from our partners?

It’s natural to expect more from our romantic partners than we do from our children because the roles they play in our lives are different. While both are important relationships, the expectations we have for them should be different.

In a romantic partnership, we are looking for someone who can provide emotional support, companionship, and intimacy. We expect our partner to understand us in ways that our children simply cannot, and to be there for us in a way that goes beyond the parent-child relationship.

In contrast, the parent-child relationship is one of guidance and support. While we love our children deeply, we don’t expect them to fulfill the emotional needs that we have as adults. We are responsible for their upbringing and providing for their needs, and we expect them to follow our guidance as they grow and develop. So this type of relationship is built on authority, giving, and love rather than an equal give-and-take.

Ultimately, the expectations we have for our partners should remain higher because the role they play in our lives is more complex and multifaceted. While we love our children deeply and expect certain things from them including respect and listening to our advice; our expectations for our partners are on a different level entirely.


The question of who should come first, children or partners, is a complex and deeply personal one. Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the needs and circumstances of each family are different. That being said, many experts in the field of family psychology suggest that a healthy balance is key. While children are undoubtedly a top priority for parents, it’s important to prioritize the needs of both the children and the romantic partner.

In practice, this means making sure that both partners are able to maintain a strong and healthy relationship, even as they devote time and attention to their children. It means finding ways to create intimacy and connection, even in the midst of the demands of parenting.

At the same time, it’s important to ensure that children feel loved, supported, and secure. This may mean prioritizing their needs in certain situations or making sacrifices for their well-being. Ultimately, the key is to maintain open communication and a willingness to work together as partners to create a healthy and balanced family dynamic.

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