While every relationship is different, there are certain tough or particularly difficult stages that almost all couples go through. And while some find the early months to be the most challenging, others believe that the second year is when things really start to heat up.
Many people claim that the second year is when couples start to settle into a routine and may begin to take each other for granted. The excitement of the honeymoon phase has worn off, and they’re now facing the reality of day-to-day life together. We disagree with this as our couple has had a different experience. So which year was the hardest for us personally and why?
In this article, we will not provide you with a reference or definite answer on what to expect for all couples. Instead, it will be a collection of observations from personal experience, as a young and happily married couple that has been together for years now. So read on!
Which year is the hardest in a relationship?
1- It could be different for every couple:
If you ask any long-time married couple what the hardest year of their marriage was, you’re likely to get a different answer from each of them. That’s because every relationship is unique, and what might be a difficult year for one couple might be a breeze for another. Some couples might find that the first year is the hardest, as they’re still getting to know each other and adjusting to married life.
For others, the hardest year might be when they have their first child, as they’re dealing with sleep deprivation and constant stress. Still, others might say that the hardest year was when they went through a rough patch in their relationship and had to work hard to get back on track.
Clearly, there’s no single correct answer to the question of what the hardest year in a marriage is. It varies from couple to couple, and it’s often impossible to predict ahead of time which years will be the most challenging. However, the most commonly expected answers will be either the first or second year if not the fifth, seventh, or further down the line.
That’s because for many; the first year is hard to survive, as they’re trying to adjust to living with someone else and learning about all their little quirks. The second year also has a bad reputation, as it’s a period of time where the “honeymoon phase” has ended and reality has set in.
But for others still, it’s later on down the line, when kids come into the picture or one person loses their job, or maybe when they go through a financially difficult time, etc. Ultimately, there isn’t one answer that applies to all couples; it varies depending on the individual relationship.
2- How to survive the hardest year in a relationship?
In the end, it doesn’t matter which year will be the hardest for your couple specifically. You can’t go into a relationship with such a negative mindset and expect or await trouble to show up. Instead, try to make it through the first year first, by staying positive and learning to navigate difficult situations together as a team.
When you do this, you’re much more likely to have a strong, healthy relationship that will survive all obstacles that life throws at you later on. One of the best ways to get through the first year is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Discuss your expectations, your needs, and your fears.
Be willing to listen to your partner and try to see things from their perspective. It’s also important to be supportive and understanding. Remember that your partner is going through the same thing as you are, and they may be feeling just as lost and confused. If you can stick together and weather the storm, you’ll come out stronger for it.
3- How to know when you’re going through the hardest year?
It’s not always easy to tell when you’re going through the hardest year of marriage. But it’s important to be able to identify that phase while you’re going through it so that you can show more patience, understanding, and appreciation for your partner. So how do you know when you’re going through the hardest year of a relationship?
Sometimes, it’s obvious, like when you’re dealing with a major illness or the death of a loved one. Other times, it’s more subtle, like when you’re facing financial difficulties or struggling to connect with your partner. However, there are a few telltale signs that you may be going through the hardest year of marriage.
First, you may find yourself constantly arguing with your partner or feeling disconnected from them. Additionally, you may feel like you’re carrying the majority of the household responsibilities or that you’re always the one giving in to your partner.
If you’re noticing any of these symptoms, it’s important to take a step back and assess whether your marriage is healthy and happy. If not, consider reaching out for help from a counselor or therapist. By taking action, you can ensure that your marriage survives and thrives; even during the hardest of years.
Our personal experience:
In case, you don’t know who we are when we refer to ourselves as “we” in our articles. We are a married young couple that has gone through a lot together and managed to stay happy and in love with one another, through it all.
We have noticed that many other men and women around us and from our inner social circle talk or refer to their marriages as a chore, duty, or a routine relationship that is convenient and nothing more.
So we decided to secretly change that for as many couples as possible by spreading advice and tips on how to keep the spark alive and the passion intense in a relationship or marriage, even years down the line. That’s how we decided to start this website and have never looked back since then!
So now that you familiarised yourself a little with who we are; let us tell you about what the hardest year in our relationship was. The hardest year for us was not when we were dating at any point; instead, it was the first year of marriage. That’s not because we found it hard to adapt to living with one another. In fact, we started living together a long time before our wedding day.
What made our first year of marriage the hardest is that we allowed unknowingly too many people and external third parties to get involved in our relationship during that time. We did it by choice to some extent, as we didn’t expect just how bad that would affect us until after the fact. Giving the power away to others rather than yourselves as partners can be destructive to any couple and we have learned that the hard way.
We have survived that phase in our marriage and come out of it stronger, thankfully. However, we now know that since we’re in love with one another and married for love; we’re better off being the only captains of our boat as we agree and like to please one another more often than not.
When we involve or give control to a third party to some extent, not only will they not have our best interest at heart but they will also be more likely to make the wrong choices for us. Even if that person knows one of us individually very well, they still don’t know much about our aspirations, goals, and who we truly are as a couple. So that’s normal and expected and we have learned a lot from it!
You can visit this page to read more about who we are and the purpose of this website. If you just want to learn more about long-term relationships or marriage’s different stages and how to navigate them as a couple, read this instead.