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What to say to a friend who is getting divorced?

What to say to a friend who is getting divorced?

Witnessing a friend go through a divorce can be difficult. There are no two ways about it; they’re surely going through a tough time. They went from being half of a team to being completely on their own, and it’s a tough adjustment to make.

Perhaps, you can see the pain and heartache that they are going through and you want to help, but you don’t know how. If your friend is going through a divorce, they probably don’t want to hear any cliches about how “it’ll all work out in the end” or “everything happens for a reason.” And, they most definitely don’t want to hear any “I told you so”. So what can you say to your friend who is going through a divorce?

If you have gone through a divorce yourself, then you’d have an idea about what to say and how to say it because you’d know what would’ve helped you during that time. But even if you didn’t, it’s still possible to relate and find the right words and actions to console your friend and bring solace to them in one of the most vulnerable moments of their life. So here are a few things to say to your friend that is getting divorced, in order to comfort them and show them the type of support that they can never forget.

5 things to tell your friend that is going through a divorce:

1. Tell them you’re there for them:

Ultimately what you want to do when your friend is getting divorced is to show your unconditional and continuous support. You should genuinely want to comfort them and remind them as often as you can that you’re there for them.

If you’re struggling to find the right words, try something like this: “I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I know it’s tough, but I’m here for you and I’ll help you get through it.” Whatever you do, just try to be supportive and understanding, they’ll appreciate it more than you know.

2. Offer your help with moving out of their joint apartment:

Obviously, it is very rude to suggest that you’ll help your friend move out of their place if you didn’t hear them talking about wanting to move first. They should be the ones who say that they’re looking to move out or rent alone away from their ex or soon-to-be ex-partner. Once you hear them say that, you can jump on the opportunity to offer help with moving. You can look for opportunities to offer favors and help with every word they say.

If they’re not moving or if they made no mention of anything like that it may be okay to ask where they intend to stay in case you want to invite them to stay with you for a while. There are things to consider though if you’re going to invite them to stay at yours and we will go more in-depth about it with the next point.

In any case, if they don’t seem to be wanting to move out yet then it is not your call to suggest that they should do such a thing or enforce it on them. They will clearly know things that you don’t and so they’re better qualified to decide for themselves what to do next according to their agenda and goals.

3. Invite them to stay with you for some time:

Another thing you can do if your best friend is going through a divorce is to cheer them up and help them get back on their feet. One way to cheer them up is to invite them to stay with you for a while. But, notice that we have said “best friend”, not any friend! If you care a lot about this person then you can go out of your way to help fix them and take them from the hand to guide them through this difficult phase.

However, if this is not a close friend or just an acquaintance then you may not have the energy to commit to doing such a draining and demanding task. This is why you should only offer this type of help if you truly mean it and don’t mind having them stay at your place. Take into consideration that it won’t all be roses, face masks, and popcorn nights when they stay at yours. They’ll probably be very sad, pessimistic, negative, and broken. You’ll have to do a lot to help them out of this pit and if you’re not careful they may end up dragging them down with them instead and having you feel moody too.

If you decide to go that extra mile and do this for your close friend, it’ll give you a chance to help them heal by doing things like cooking for them, taking them out on fun outings, and just being there for moral support. So if your bestie is going through a divorce, be sure to offer them a place to stay. It’ll make all the difference in helping them get through this tough time. And, hopefully, they will remember your kindness and such a favor for life!

4. Use your body language to show support and physical warmth:

After you have shown your kindness through words and offered help with as many things as you can, now is the time to demonstrate your support in a different way. Offer hugs to your friend, position yourself close to them, put your hand on their back and rub it. This type of physical warmth and affection can help people feel less lonely during difficult times. It reminds them that they’re surrounded by people that love them and that have their best interests at heart. It shows them that they matter still, regardless of anything.

So if your friend is crying their eyes out and their entire face is soaked with tears, don’t overthink it and hug them. Don’t worry about your hair or makeup getting ruined or wet. In the end, your friend is losing way more than just a good day of make-up. Their heart is slowly tearing up and the pain is probably penetrating their core whether they show it or hide it. So be ready to let them find comfort around your neck in a good embrace. The more you help your friend, the more they’ll remember it after this dark cloud has passed.

5. Remind them that it’s not the end of the world:

In the end, one of the best things you can tell your friend when they’re getting divorced is that it’s not the end of the world. Sure, it sucks that their relationship didn’t work out, but there’s nothing wrong with being single again. In fact, being single can be pretty great if you choose that over staying in a toxic unhealthy relationship.

You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and you don’t have to answer to anyone. Encourage them to use this time to focus on their own happiness, and figure out what they really want in life. So remind your best friend that getting divorced doesn’t mean that they failed at something.

It could mean that they successfully identified a bad situation or relationship to stay in and walked away from it to preserve their health and well-being. You don’t have to be so blatant about it and direct but you can imply that it is just a hiccup in their life story. Who knows, maybe they’ll thank you for it later.

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