Some people just cannot take criticism, and if that happens to be your spouse, you may find it hard to adjust to them. Your spouse may be used to hearing compliments and words of affirmation from you, but when it comes to criticism, they may react defensively and become argumentative. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to follow the steps listed in this article.
Above all, remember that your spouse is not perfect and that everyone can benefit from constructive criticism. But, if your spouse finds it hard to do then try to avoid giving criticism that is based on personal preferences or opinions. Instead, focus on specific issues or areas that need improvement.
If you don’t know how to do that then don’t panic, we’re here to help! Here are a few steps that you can follow to help your spouse be more accepting of criticism and to learn how to give it the right way yourself. By following these guidelines, you can help your spouse to practice self-betterment based on your advice and without feeling defensive.
5 steps to follow if your spouse cannot take criticism:
1. Be sure to criticize the behavior or action, not the person:
If you want to provide your spouse with constructive criticism without offending them, be sure to criticize the behavior or action, not the person. This is a simple rule, but it’s one that’s often forgotten in the heat of the moment. When you’re critiquing your spouse’s actions, make sure to keep it impersonal.
For example, don’t say “you’re messy and disorganized” say “I don’t like it when we keep our living space crowded and messy.” This small change can make a big difference in how your spouse perceives your criticism. By keeping it impersonal, you’re more likely to get your point across without causing hurt feelings.
If you criticize their behavior, it shows that you’re focused on the issue at hand, not on attacking them as a person. As a result, they’re more likely to be open to hearing what you have to say and working together to find a solution.
2. Reassure your spouse that you still love them and don’t speak in riddles:
Secondly, we confirm that it’s hard to give criticism sometimes, especially to the person you love. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, but at the same time, you want to help them improve. If you find yourself in this situation with your spouse, it’s important to remind them that you love them unconditionally and regardless of any shortcomings or mistakes they make.
They should understand that your desire to help them is coming from a place of love, so gently kiss their forehead or wrap your arms around their waist when making a remark. This will also remind you not to be confrontational and defensive while delivering your message. Be specific with your criticism while your body language shows love, affection, and devotion rather than making spiteful digs. Speaking in riddles would only confuse and frustrate your spouse so being very clear and kind about your remark can save you a lot of trouble.
It could be a little difficult to achieve but you can easily master this skill if you truly don’t mean to be judgemental and negative with your criticism. Being specific and loving at the same time will save you a lot of trouble. Vague comments will only lead to a heated argument and resentment on both of your parts. And most importantly, reassure your spouse that you are only trying to help them be the best they can be. With this little tip in mind, giving constructive criticism to your spouse will be a breeze!
3. Do it with a gentle tone and friendly approach:
No one likes being criticized, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to help improve a situation. If you have a spouse who doesn’t take kindly to criticism, there is a third key thing you can do to help them accept it. And, that’s trying to avoid coming across as judgmental or angry. A gentle tone and friendly approach will go a lot further than an accusing or confrontational one.
Whether it’s criticizing your spouse’s driving skills or the way they load the dishwasher, it’s important to be able to give constructive criticism without coming across as rude or insulting. The key is to be gentle about it. Start by saying something positive, then gently point out what could be improved.
For example, “I really appreciate how hard you work around the house. When I am do the dishes, I always think they get cleaner if I load them differently. Let me show you how.” By being kind and friendly, you can deliver criticism in a way that will be well-received and hopefully result in some positive changes.
4. Be willing to listen to feedback yourself:
Fourthly, be willing to listen to feedback yourself. If your spouse feels like you’re constantly criticizing them without being open to hearing their own critiques, it will only make them more resistant to accepting yours. By letting your spouse speak their mind the same way you do, you can help ensure that your critiques are heard and accepted.
Relationships are a two-way street; meaning that if you want your partner to listen to your criticisms, you also have to be open to hearing theirs. It can be easy to get caught up in Lecture Mode, where you take every opportunity to point out all the ways your spouse is falling short. But if you’re not also receptive to criticism yourself, it creates an imbalanced dynamic in the relationship.
Your partner may start to feel like they’re constantly being berated, and their remarks or criticisms will likely fall on deaf ears. So next time you’re tempted to give your spouse a piece of your mind, make sure you’re also open to hearing what they have to say. After all, relationships are all about give and take.
5. Only give them constructive criticism in private:
It’s no secret that marriage can be tough at times. And when things aren’t going well, it can be tempting to take out your frustrations on your spouse. However, if you want to criticize your spouse in some way, it’s important to do it in private. Otherwise, you risk doing it in front of others and hurting their feelings. It’s a heartbreaking betrayal that can make them feel so small. So if you must criticize, do it in the privacy of your own home.
If you make remarks or put emphasis on your spouse’s shortcomings in front of others, you run the risk of humiliating and disrespecting them in front of others. Not only will this make your spouse feel resentful, but it could also make them feel like a victim. So next time you’re tempted to say something negative about your spouse in public, remember to bite your tongue. It could save your marriage a lot of heartache in the long run.