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What to do if you love someone more than they do?

What to do if you love someone more than they do?

When you love your partner so much that it feels like they don’t love you back the same, you can be left wondering if your relationship will stand the test of time. You know you love them and you’re ready to spend your entire life with them, but to what extent do they care? 

But what if they don’t feel the same? Does that mean your relationship won’t survive? There’s truly no need to think like that. We’re taught to believe that love is this all-encompassing, intense force that can solver anything. 

Maybe he loves you more but doesn’t show it much:

Though love is pretty magical, it’s not magic. In real life, love is tied up to so many other things, and each person experiences and expresses it differently.

Just because your partner seems a little less intense, doesn’t mean they don’t love you enough. Maybe, they love you more but their personality type is the type to make them show it less and be less open and direct about it.

However, let’s be honest it is indeed possible to love someone more than they love you and it’s not at all uncommon. But what should you do when that happens? Well, today we will explore the possibilities to help you navigate being in a smiliar situation!

What to do when you love someone more than they love you:

1- Stop making assumptions:

Love is a deeply personal experience. So much so that it’s often difficult to put into words. As mentioned before, we all feel it and express it differently. You must understand and internalize this because it will help you stop presuming to know how much your partner loves you.

The level of intensity with which people love depends on many different factors. It also ebbs and flows throughout the relationship, which is normal and healthy. Though it may seem like your partner loves you “less”, the truth is that you’re just different.

Quantifying love is not the right approach; your relationship is not a competition, you’re in it together. 

2- Understand your love language:

We all have different love languages, which is the way we express and receive love. Many misunderstandings between partners stem from a lack of understanding of each other’s love language. So, it’s key that you identify your love language and that of your partner. This way, you’ll understand where the difference comes from. 

There are five love languages; words of affirmation (compliments, etc.), acts of service (doing things for you, like your morning coffee), giving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

If your love language is physical touch and your partner’s love language is acts of service, you can see how it’s easy to think they love you less. In reality, you just have different ways of expressing love. 

3- Accept the form of love your partner can give:

Though it’s ideal to find a partner with the same love language as you, that’s not always what happens. If you have different love languages, it’s unfair to ask your partner to change for you or vice versa. What you can and should do is find ways to compromise together so you’re both happy and fulfilled. 

You also must understand that compromises will only go so far. That’s why you need to learn to accept the kind of love your partner can give because it’s still valuable.

It won’t be easy to learn to feel loved when their expression of love doesn’t match your standards, but it’s not impossible. Give it time and open your heart!

4- Be open about what you need, in order to feel loved:

You won’t be able to make compromises together if your partner has no idea what you need to feel loved. That’s where open and honest communication comes in. Your feelings are valid and if you need a little bit more from your partner, you should let them know. 

We all have preferences and needs, so you should both feel comfortable expressing those things. This is key for a healthy relationship, so you need to have a conversation.

Start by saying how much you appreciate what they already do and then explain what you’re lacking. So you can find ways to address the issue without a misunderstanding or arguig. 


Perhaps the most important thing you need to do is stop thinking that you love them more than they love you. Perhaps you’re right or maybe you just express yourselves differently, but you should stop trying to quantify love either way. 

Don’t keep counting points for each one of you, every time one of you shows love to the other, because it’s not good for your relationship.

You risk not only feeling bad about how much love you have to give, but also making your partner feel guilty about not being able to express themselves the same way as you. If you feel genuinely loved by them and there’s no abuse or toxicity in your relationship, there’s no use in keeping a “love tally”.

Learn to accept your partner’s love expression, communicate, and work together to keep growing as a couple to find fulfillment. Also, consider checking out this article for you two for a few relationship goalsto make you stronger than ever!

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