At this moment in time, around our large beautiful planet, there must be a good amount of women complaining: “My husband misinterprets everything I say!”. If not verbally, then there are at least thinking it. And, that’s because this type of problem is very common in marriages.
In today’s article, we will see why that happens, how to fix it, and how to start being heard and understood by your husband.
This is why your husband misinterprets everything you say:
1. He knows that you can be negative, at times:
The longest you live with someone, the more you learn to tolerate them especially if they are the nagging type of spouse. If you’re negative and bring light to negative aspects of every situation, even the happy ones, then your husband might simply be used to this side of your personality by now.
So it is only fair and expected that even when you mean good, he quickly anticipates that you’re trying to nag him, argue or tell him off in some way. This way he’d activate his defense mechanism and be the one attacking you before you even have the chance to explain yourself.
There’s just no way around it, we sometimes become very much in denial about our flaws and shortcomings. But, at some point, you have to realize that women can be very emotional, which makes them analyze every situation they go through with their husbands. This will sometimes result in some unnecessary bickering and fault-finding behavior.
And, in the end, that’s how men learn to expect negativity from their wives or interpret negatively everything that comes out of their mouths. If you admit to yourself that you’re guilty of this, then that’s all you need, and you should also check this article and see how you can learn to develop a more positive mindset about life.
2. Lack of communication in the relationship:
Communication is the key to a happy marriage. It is important to talk to your partner about your feelings and thoughts.
If you are not talking to your partner, it could lead to miscommunication. Miscommunication can lead to a lot of arguments and even a bitter marriage. It can also make one partner or both feel misunderstood, lonely, and frustrated.
A common problem in many relationships is that one person is always trying harder than the other. If you are always trying harder than your partner, it could be because you need more attention, affection, or reassurance from them, which is fine. If you feel he’s the one trying harder then it’s about time that you reassure him, make him feel heard and appreciated.
Either way, keep in mind that when you are in a relationship, communication is the key to success. And, if you are not communicating with your partner, things can get pretty messy.
3. A lack of trust in the relationship:
Your husband may not trust that you have good intentions behind whatever it is that you’re talking about. This, in turn, will cause many issues and cause him to have a low opinion of you.
This lack of trust can lead to a lot of misinterpretations of what the other person means. A husband may think that his wife is lying to him, making a dig, or trying to criticize him, when she really isn’t.
For instance: she might tell her husband that if he would just help around the house more then there wouldn’t be any problems, but he might interpret it as “you’re lazy and I’m doing everything around here.” This lack of trust can lead to the deterioration of marriage, if not dealt with quickly.
That’s why you need to sit your husband down, if this is your case, and explain to him that you’re never talking in coded language. Tell him that your intentions are always pure and that if you don’t like something, you’ll be quick to say it how it is. This way he will stop trying to decode or find a hidden sinister meaning, behind every word you say.
4. He is trying to defend someone:
If you and your husband argued a lot about a specific person in the past, it may be that he senses that you’re gonna make a dig about that person so he jumps to their rescue. he may be trying to defend someone from your negative comments by misinterpreting what you said about them.
So, if your husband is fond of someone that you dislike and you two have had arguments around it in the past, chances are he’s gonna act weird whenever you two mention that person. That’s because whenever a topic involving that person comes up; he will sense that your negativity is coming and he will be ready to jump to their defense.
For instance, if you had arguments about his family in the past then chances are that whenever you mention them, you will be on his radar and he’ll be ready to pounce on you.
That’s because he already has an idea about the opinion you have of them and can already see a negative comment coming, even when you were not trying to make one. Check out this article if you two ever argued about in-laws before.
And, yes it can be frustrating to watch your life partner and the man you love quickly misinterpret what you say to paint you as the villain and jump to someone else’s defense.
However, you have to understand that this has nothing to do with you as a person and how much he loves you. He’d probably defend you with as much passion and dedication if you were the one being brought up in a negative way by someone and in your absence.
Try being considerate and leaving his loved ones, his idols, or close friends that you two disagree on out of your discussions.
5. He simply misunderstands you a lot:
This is the easiest answer or reason as to why anyone could ever misinterpret you. They simply could have misunderstood you or maybe they don’t know you well enough yet, to get your humor or what you mean from the first word you say.
In fact, husbands often misinterpret what their wives say. And, that’s simply because our brains are wired differently. For example, women tend to use more words to say something simple or that could’ve been said differently and quicker. This is to say that while men might be simpler and less complex, women tend to express themselves more and look into the details of all that surrounds them.
That’s why it is important to be mindful of how you are speaking to your spouse and the tone of your voice. He may have simply thought that your way about it and body language, was delivering a different message. Or maybe you came across as rude or it was thought of as some type of unconscious microaggression, so he just misunderstood you and nothing more.