Skip to Content

How to stop saying sorry in a relationship?

How to stop saying sorry in a relationship?

If you find yourself apologizing more often than your partner in your relationship, it could be a sign that something is off balance. It’s possible that you’re taking on too much responsibility for things that go wrong, or that you’re feeling like you have to constantly walk on eggshells.

Whether you just noticed or caught yourself apologizing for more than you should have, some time ago, you may be feeling bad about it. You may feel like it hurts your ego and pride to be the one always having to give in, act apologetic, and take responsibility.

If you want to stop it all now; and have a more balanced relationship where both of you are held accountable for arguments and misunderstandings in the relationship; then you’re at the right address! Read on and learn about a few steps to stop saying sorry in your relationship.

5 Steps to stop saying sorry in a relationship more than you should:

1- Talk to your partner:

If you’ve been feeling like you’re the only one doing the apologizing in your relationship, it’s time to have a talk with your partner. It’s possible that they don’t even realize they’re never saying sorry, or they could be taking your apology as a green light to keep making the same mistakes.

Either way, it’s important to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling. If the apologizing is coming from a place of genuine remorse, then it’s probably nothing to worry about. But if you feel like you’re always the one who has to say sorry, it might be time to have a conversation about how to create a more equal balance in your relationship.

2- Make a plan or set of rules:

After you open up and let your partner know how you’ve been feeling, it’s important to come up with a plan to address the issue. Maybe you can take turns apologizing, and taking your fair share of the blame whenever a bad argument takes place.

It’s no secret that arguments take two to happen and to become heated; so they must have something to apologize for too if the two of you fight. It could be the simple fact of not having been more patient and tried to understand where you’re coming from, even if you were the one in the wrong. However, if they’re in the wrong or if they started the argument in the first place then it’s clear that they should be a lot less reluctant to say sorry.

So after you tell your partner that you caught yourself taking responsibility for everything; try and set up a rule where neither of you can apologize for something until 24 hours have passed. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s something you’re both comfortable with. Otherwise, this issue will just keep causing problems down the road.

3- Find the root cause for this behavior:

If you find yourself saying “sorry” all the time in your relationship, and you have followed the first two steps above then it might be time to explore why that is. Take some time alone and privately work on finding out the reason for such behavior. Try not to do this before talking to your partner, as it could make you feel sorry for yourself and anger you more or turn you against them.

When you think of the cause for your behavior, try to think about your past relationships, past experiences, childhood, background, and all the possible reasons. Maybe, it could be a sign that you’re feeling guilty about something already like having wronged your partner behind their back, or perhaps you’re not assertive enough.

Whatever the reason, apologizing too much can take a toll on your relationship. If you’re constantly having to say “sorry,” it can make you feel like you’re not being heard or valued. It can also make your partner feel like they’re always in the right, which can make them build resentment for you as they’ll think you’re toxic and the one always causing issues.

So, if you want to stop saying “sorry” all the time, start by taking a closer look at why you’re doing it. Once you identify the root of the problem, you can start to take the steps that follow to address it. With some effort, you can break the habit of apologizing and create a healthier, more balanced relationship.

4- Eliminate the root cause:

Once you identify the root cause for apologizing a lot in your relationship, work on eliminating your underlying issue.

Oftentimes, the root cause is low self-esteem or feelings of insecurity. If that’s the case, work on eliminating your underlying issue by practicing self-compassion and building up your confidence. Once you start feeling better about yourself, you’ll likely find that you don’t need to apologize as much.

The bottom line is that apologizing all the time is not healthy for either you or your relationship. If you want to stop saying “sorry” all the time, figure out what’s causing the issue and address it head-on. Once you do, you’ll be able to apologize only when it’s truly warranted, which brings us to our final point after this one.

5- Don’t hesitate to own up to your mistakes:

In the end, remember that there are also times when saying sorry is warranted. If you’ve made a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings, own up to it and express genuine remorse.

This is especially true and needed in romantic relationships, if you hurt your partner’s feelings then stop and take accountability. You cannot hurt them and proceed to walk all over them by wanting them to act like nothing bad happen and be loving with you.

A simple “I’m sorry” can go a long way towards repairing a damaged relationship. So, be mindful of your words and before you apologize, ask yourself if you really need to. if you can’t think of a good reason, then don’t say it. But, if you actually have a good reason to do so then do it. If you find yourself having to apologize for genuine mistakes you make very often, then the issue here is clearly not the excessive apologizing but your character.

In the end, think about visiting this article and learning about 3 ways to apologize that don’t require saying “sorry”, if you feel you’ve been saying it too much. There you’ll learn about other useful ways of conveying an apology and earning forgiveness.

    error: Content is protected !!