If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know how confusing and depressing it can be. You may even find it hard to trust anyone else again. You might even start to overthink things that have nothing to do with the cheating.
In fact, after being cheated on, it can be hard to stop overthinking every little detail. Was there something you could have done differently? What does this say about you as a partner? It’s easy to get caught up in a spiral of self-doubt and blame, but it’s important to try and move on.
6 steps to stop overthinking after being cheated on:
1- Realize that it’s not your fault:
Realizing that it’s not your fault is the first step to stopping overthinking after being cheated on. This will help you forgive yourself. It’s not your fault that your partner chose to cheat, so understand that it probably had nothing to do with you.
Cheating is a really painful experience, and it’s natural for you to feel like it’s your fault. But it’s not. Your partner made the choice to cheat, and that’s on them, not on you. It’s easy to blame yourself and think that you could have done something to prevent it, but the truth is that you can’t control someone else’s actions no matter what you do. Cheating is a choice that they made, and they are the only ones responsible for it.
Once you realize that, it will be easier to let go of the anger and hurt that you’re feeling and move on with your life.
2- Understand that nothing will change the past:
After being cheated on, it’s normal to spiral into a world of “what ifs” and “should haves.” You might find yourself constantly questioning what you could have done differently or berating yourself for not seeing the signs.
But berating yourself will only make you feel worse, and it won’t change the past. The best thing you can do is try to move on. Accept that what happened happened, and try to focus on the future.
Talk to a therapist if you need help processing your feelings, and surround yourself with supportive people who will help you build yourself back up. This will also shift your focus on the future and help you forget about the past. With time, you’ll be able to move on from this difficult chapter in your life.
3- Focus on the positive relationships in your life:
After being cheated on, it’s easy to focus on what went wrong in the relationship that led to the infidelity. But overthinking things will only make you feel worse. Instead, focus on the other relationships in your life that are healthy and supportive.
Spend time with your friends and family, and focus on activities that make you feel good. Nurture these positive relationships, and eventually, you’ll start to feel better about yourself and your place in the world.
Cheated on or not, we all deserve to have healthy and supportive relationships in our lives. And focusing on these will help prevent you from losing faith in relationships or developing trust issues.
4- Consider breaking up with your partner, if you didn’t already:
After you’ve been cheated on, it’s normal to want to overthink things and try to figure out what went wrong. You may have decided to forgive your partner or give them another chance. So if you did that and you find yourself stuck in an endless overthinking cycle still then maybe it was the wrong decision to make.
Sometimes there’s really only one step you need to take in order to stop overthinking and that’s to break up with your partner. Staying with them will only make you doubt yourself more, and perhaps you don’t see it now but you deserve better than that.
Maybe your partner’s face, voice, and the fact that they still exist in your life will be a constant reminder of what they did. It’s only normal that you keep doubting everything if you have kept a cheater under your roof. As the saying goes: once a cheater, always a cheater. There’s no changing them, so the best thing you could be to move on. You’ll be glad you did.
5- Start dating again and move on:
After getting cheated on, a lot of people start to think that they are not good enough or start to doubt their relationship skills. Overthinking can take over, and it becomes hard to move on. If this is you one last piece of advice to help you out of this rut is to put yourself out there again.
This may sound counterintuitive, but it can actually help a lot. Rebound relationships are not so bad, they have one clear purpose and they can help you forget about your ex and start to move on. You can even consider starting a fling if you’re not ready for something serious. Just as long as your partner is aware of your intentions and on the same page as you; it can all be great.
Plus, you never know; your rebound or fling might turn into something real and lasting if they’re truly compatible with you. If not, then they would’ve helped you get over someone who doesn’t deserve more of your time or energy spent on them, at least.
So, if you’re feeling stuck after getting cheated on, one step that you can take is to start dating again. It may just be the thing that you need to get over your ex and start fresh. You don’t need to date for something serious, you can date for fun as long as you’re clear about it.
6- Realize that cheating says more about the cheater than their partners:
After getting cheated on, it’s easy to spend hours or days, or weeks dwelling on what went wrong. But it’s important to remember that cheating says more about the person who did it than their partners.
Maybe they’re attracted to the thrill of secrecy or the feeling of power that comes with being desired by someone else. Or, they’re unhappy in their relationship, couldn’t have said it, and were looking for a way out. Another option is that they’re just plain selfish and don’t think about how their actions will affect others.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to realize that we can’t control other people’s behavior. All we can do is focus on our own happiness and wellbeing. In fact, cheating says a lot more about the person who did the cheating rather than the one who got cheated on. So remember that and again make sure you don’t keep a cheater under your roof.