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How to stop being manipulative in a relationship?

How to stop being manipulative in a relationship?

If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’ve been told you’re manipulative in your relationship before. Maybe you didn’t realize you were doing it, or maybe you did but you don’t know how to stop.

Either way, it’s important to understand that being manipulative is not going to lead to a healthy, lasting relationship.

How to know when you’re being manipulative?

Manipulation is a form of control and puts your partner in an uncomfortable position. If you are manipulative, you may try to control your partner by making them feel guilty or responsible for your happiness.

You may also try to use their feelings for you to get what you want. This can damage the relationship by causing trust issues, making your partner feel like they are being used. By having this character, you’re demonstrating you’re not really interested in the other person’s wellbeing. Perhaps, you’re just interested in getting what you want.

Sounds familiar? Be honest with yourself. If you truly want to change in order to save your relationship, then continue reading. Here we provide you with 5 key steps to stop being manipulative in a relationship.

5 Steps to stop being manipulative:

Step 1: Recognise when you’re being manipulative

First and foremost, you must be able to recognise when you’re being manipulative in a relationship in order to stop. Some key signs are if you’re making your partner feel guilty, to get something out of it. It could also be the case if you’re blackmailing them or you threatening to leave the relationship.

If you can identify that you have been manipulative, then you can start to take steps to change your behaviour. This is why the initial step is, to be honest. If you’re honest with yourself, you probably know when you’re being manipulative. Maybe you’ve been caught in a white lie or two, or maybe you’ve been withholding information in order to get what you want.

If you can be honest with yourself and your partner about what you have done and why you did it then you have taken a step in the right direction. You also need to listen to your partner about how your behaviour has made them feel and take responsibility for your actions. If you can do this, then you are on the road to stopping being manipulative in your relationship.

Step 2: Communicate openly and honestly with your partner.

Secondly, never underestimate the importance of communication. It’s vital to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, and that starts with being truthful about your feelings. When you’re honest with your partner, it builds trust and helps to create a solid foundation for the relationship. Plus, being honest shows that you respect your partner enough to be truthful with them.

It also allows you to resolve problems more effectively because there is no guesswork involved. Your partner will know where they stand with you and they will be more likely to confide in you. However, if you’re not communicating openly and honestly with your partner, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship starts to unravel.

After all, when you’re constantly trying to control or deceive your partner, it not only damages the trust between you, but also erodes your own sense of self-respect. So, if you’re looking to build a lasting relationship, start by communicating honestly and openly with your partner. It may not be easy at first, but it’s certainly worth the effort in the long run.

Step 3: Respect your partner’s boundaries.

In any relationship, it’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries. This means understanding what they’re comfortable with and what they’re not comfortable with and making sure that you don’t cross any line that they’ve drawn.

Try to avoid being manipulative and pushing your partner outside of their comfort zones in order to get what you want. This is not only incredibly disrespectful, but it can also lead to a lot of tension and conflict. If you find yourself being manipulative in your relationship, it’s important to stop and take a step back.

Talk to your partner about what they’re comfortable with, and make sure that you’re always respecting their boundaries. Remember a relationship is an equal partnership where both parties hold the same value.

The way you want your own boundaries to be respected is exactly the same way you should be mindful of your partner’s limits and boundaries. Be just, and treat your partner the same way you would like to be treated. Otherwise, you’re just going to end up causing more harm than good.

Step 4: Be willing to compromise.

If you’re used to getting your own way by being manipulative in a relationship, it can be tough to switch gears and start compromising. But trust us, it’s worth it. Being willing to meet your partner halfway shows that you’re truly invested in the relationship and willing to sacrifice your own needs for the sake of harmony.

On the other hand, if you’re not willing to compromise in a relationship, you’re likely to find yourself resorting to tactics like sulking, playing games or guilt-tripping to get your way. And while it may seem like these methods are effective in the short term, they’ll only serve to create resentment and misunderstanding in the long run. So, if you’re serious about having a healthy, happy relationship, learn to compromise.

By compromising you’re showing your partner you are trying to see things from their perspective and are willing to work together to find a solution that works for both of you. This will go a long way in building any bridges your manipulative behaviour may have destroyed.

Step 5: Build self-confidence and self-esteem.

Last but not least, if you’ve been manipulative in a relationship, it’s likely because you don’t have much self-confidence or self-esteem. Yes, it sounds harsh but we believe in tough love.

Maybe you feel like you’re not good enough or that you have to resort to underhanded tactics to get what you want. But the truth is, being manipulative is only going to damage your relationships. It’ll make people distrust you and eventually, they’ll see through your games.

So, if you want to stop being manipulative, work on building up your self-confidence and self-esteem. Start by accepting yourself for who you are and recognizing your own worth, this will go a long way towards helping you feel more confident and secure in your relationships.

Additionally, try to avoid comparing yourself to others; this will only serve to make you feel more insecure. Remember, with a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, you’ll be much less likely to resort to manipulation in your relationships and be able to start enjoying healthy, lasting relationships. Good Luck!

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