It’s not uncommon to feel jealousy when you sense someone is too close to your partner in a way that’s inappropriate. However, is it normal to feel jealous of your partner, spouse or boyfriend’s family, and siblings? Well, it depends.
It’s not super unusual to feel jealous of the closeness between your boyfriend, let’s say, and his family and siblings. Maybe you wish you were that close with your family and you’re jealous of the way they love and support each other.
However, if you are jealous of how much time they spend together or how much love your boyfriend has for his family and siblings because you feel it threatens the love he feels for you, then that can be a big problem.
Why Are You Jealous of Your in-laws or potential in-laws?
For most people, this kind of jealousy is rooted in insecurity. Many people struggle with insecurities but that’s a personal problem that you don’t have to address. At least until the moment, you make it your boyfriend’s problem and you think that he is the one that needs to make changes. If that’s the case, then you are jeopardizing your relationship.
You can’t prevent your boyfriend from having deep connections with other people, whether it’s family or friends. What you can do is work on your insecurities to make sure you don’t sabotage your own happiness. Just because other people mean a lot to your boyfriend doesn’t mean you are any less special to him!
Now, if you want to overcome being jealous of your boyfriend’s parents and siblings, you need to understand why you are feeling that way in the first place. That will allow you to address the root of the issue a lot better! So, let’s take a look at a few common reasons:
-They Have Known Your Boyfriend Forever:
The truth is, you can’t compete with your boyfriend’s parents and siblings. They have known him forever and if they have a good relationship, it’s likely they know him better than you do. However, that doesn’t mean your boyfriend doesn’t share things only with you. You two have a unique connection and bond that no one can replace, that’s something you need to remember.
-They Have Shared History:
Your boyfriend has a unique shared history with every member of his family, that’s a fact. That means that they have memories and moments that you weren’t a part of. If that makes you feel jealous or insecure, remember that he has memories and moments with you that are only yours and they are also unique. You are creating your own shared history together!
-He Values Their Opinion:
When your boyfriend has a healthy and trustful relationship with his parents and siblings, he will value their opinion greatly. Now, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t value your opinion as well.
Granted, they may be higher on the hierarchy of who matters most to him, simply because they’re family. However, remember that if all goes well one day you may become his spouse and be his immediate family and the entire world! Plus, this is not a competition. Even now, you surely must be a valued part of his life, at least as much as they are!
-Their Connection Runs Deep:
If you feel a bit jealous of the connection your boyfriend has to his parents and siblings, you need to remember he also has a deep connection with you.
There is room in his life for more than his family and it’s important to keep that in mind. You can’t let your insecurities cloud your judgment! Doubting your boyfriend’s commitment to you is a slippery slope, especially if you don’t have a reason to.
-They Will Always Be in His Life:
No matter what happens, your boyfriend’s parents and siblings will always be a part of his life. That’s just how it is! If that makes you insecure about the future of your relationship, you need to adjust your perspective.
First of all, why are you thinking about not being in his life? You are in his life and as long as you nurture your relationship together, that will continue to be true. If you are both committed to the long term, there’s no reason to think you won’t be in his life as well.
How not to be jealous of your inlaws?
If you’re the jealous type, in-laws can be a real thorn in your side. Whether they’re constantly being critical or always seem to be one-upping you, it can be tough to keep your cool. But try not to let jealousy get the better of you. After all, they’re family, and you want to get along with them, right? Here are a few tips on how to deal with jealous feelings towards your in-laws.
First of all, try to communicate openly with your partner about where you stand and how important you are to him. It’s important that he shows through actions and words how much you matter to him to his family. This way they’ll know what’s going on and they’ll make sure not to step on your toes.
Secondly, make an effort to get to know your in-laws better. The more you understand them, the less there is to be jealous of. Finally, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with them. If you can find something to appreciate about them, it will help to offset any negative feelings.
Jealousy is never easy to deal with, but by following these tips, you can hopefully start to build a stronger relationship with your in-laws.
Though there are many reasons why you may feel jealous of your boyfriend’s parents and siblings, it’s important to work on this issue and be well aware of it. You don’t have to admit it to your partner as they may start thinking you’re unjust and unnecessarily jealous even when his family does something wrong and you’re the victim. However, admitting to yourself that you have a jealousy problem can be a good start.
The last thing you want is for this to cause problems in your relationship. Emotions can be illogical, so you have to keep them in check, especially when they are unreasonable.
Talking to someone about this can actually be very helpful! If you are finding it challenging to let this go on your own, you can always look for professional help to work through this issue. Sometimes, you can’t control the way you feel, but you can work through it.
Additionally, don’t be afraid to spend more time with your boyfriend and his family. That may help you keep things in perspective and realize there is room for all of you in his heart and his life! Or, if you find your inlaws extremely difficult and overbearing then there’s always the possibility to distance yourself from them. You don’t have to maintain a relationship that drains you!