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How to stop being desperate for a relationship

How to stop being desperate for a relationship

Being single while everyone you know is either dating, engaged, or married is not easy. Especially not when you’ve been actively trying to find love but it just hasn’t happened for you. There comes a point where you might start to doubt if there’s someone out there for you. 

So, what can you do to avoid being desperate for a relationship? Well, the good news is that there are a few steps you can follow and we’ll explain them here today. 

But first, we want to remind you that being single is not at all bad. Society teaches us that we need someone to be happy; our better half, our soulmate. While it’s great to find that, it’s important to remember you are whole on your own.

 Check out our article on how to be happy to be single and why you should enjoy the single life, while you can.

5 Steps to Stop Being Desperate for a Relationship:

1. Learn to Appreciate Your Alone Time:

More often than not, desperate people act out of fear of being alone. This hunger to be with someone can make you say and do the wrong things, which can be off-putting. Check out our article on why you should never date “anyone” just not to be single.

Plus, coming off as desperate kills the game! If your main motivation for finding a partner is your fear of being alone, you will end up pushing people away. 

Learn to be on your own, we promise it is not bad! Work on yourself, develop your hobbies, interests, and skills, and learn to be comfortable on your own. This will help you increase your self-confidence and it will also make you a more interesting person. 

2. Don’t Try to Be Anyone Other Than Yourself:

Desperate people often try to turn into someone else in hopes of finding a relationship. But if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, how will you find the right person for you? In the long term, it will make things more difficult than they need to be. 

Instead of borrowing characteristics that you think are attractive, show potential partners your true personality. Don’t try to force anything, just be your natural self.

Being unnaturally nice or charming won’t work in your favor. Instead, let your natural charisma shine through. Check out our article on how to develop unique charming charisma.

3. Be True to What You Want:

When people feel desperate, they start sacrificing the things they want in a partner. Little by little, they cross things off the list because they think they’ll never find that person. However, sacrificing your standards is not a good idea if you want a long-term relationship. 

If you’re not looking to settle down, you can spend time with people who don’t share core values and have fun.

But if you want true love, you need to be with someone who is on the same page as you. We’re not talking about finding your twin. We’re talking about finding the kind of person you can truly admire and build a life with. 

4. Clean Your Social Media:

Ah, social media! It can be such a trigger, especially when all you can see are happy, thriving couples. Considering that social media has a huge impact on your mental health, it’s important to control what you’re exposed to. If seeing happy couples makes you feel bad about being single, clean your social media. 

You don’t have to unfollow everyone who’s in a happy relationship. However, you can temporarily mute their usernames so they don’t show up on your feed.

Additionally, you can limit the time you spend on social media. Otherwise, it will be very difficult not to feel desperate. 

5. Stop Complaining:

Complaining never helped anyone. Don’t get us wrong, it can be cathartic. Whenever you feel like you need to express your feelings, you can hash it out with friends over a few drinks. What you don’t want to do is complain about being single 24/7. 

It’s normal to feel frustrated, but dwelling is not healthy. Instead of focusing on the negative, learn to focus on the positive. You receive the same energy you put out.

It might sound super New Age, but it’s true. People can sense when you’re desperate and it’s never good for your social or romantic life. 


Remember, being single has a lot of benefits. For example, you can travel whenever you want, you can work on yourself, become self-reliant, focus on your career, have more time to spend with friends, etc. When you’re feeling desperate, focus on that. 

Though it may not feel like it sometimes, you will find love. You just have to focus on yourself and continue putting yourself out there with good energy. The last thing you want to do is settle because you think you’re on a deadline. You’re not and there’s nothing wrong with taking a little longer than other people.

Focus on yourself, keep going on dates, and keep it casual unless you find someone you click with. In that case, agree to go all in and see where it takes you!

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