Being clingy with friends can be a major issue. It not only makes you seem needy and desperate, but it can also push people away. Not only that but it can also be tough when you feel like you’re constantly the one making so much effort and caring more than others. You might start to feel unappreciated and like you’re always the one chasing after people.
If you’re clingy, you probably have a fear of abandonment and feel like you need to be close to someone at all times in order to feel secure. This can be a lot of pressure on your friends, and they may start to feel suffocated.
So if you find yourself being clingy unintentionally, then here are a few things you can do to help yourself be a better friend and provide better company to others.
4 steps to stop being clingy with friends:
1- Focus on yourself:
First, try to take some time for yourself and do things that make you happy. This will help you feel more independent and less reliant on your friends for validation or to fill up your spare time with activities.
Take the time to focus on yourself. Make sure you have hobbies and interests that you’re passionate about outside of your friendships. That way, you won’t feel like your entire life revolves around your friends.
You should also try to be more independent. Being capable of making your own happiness and planning out fun days with family members or colleagues can be a way of making more friends outside of your usual group of friends.
This will help give you more options when you want to hang out with people, which will allow your friends to all to be close to you to some extent. It also avoids having that one friend you always suffocate or expect so much from. So don’t always rely on one or two friends to make plans or entertain you. Take the initiative to expand your circle of friends and do things on your own too.
If you focus on having a life outside of your friendships, you’ll be less clingy and give your friends the breather they need.
2- Don’t take a need for space personal:
Secondly, try to be more understanding of your friends who need some space. Don’t take it personally if your friends don’t always have time for you.
In fact, if this is a flaw in your character by nature and you find yourself being clingy in your romantic relationships too then check this article out later on how to give more space to your partner and how much space is needed in a relationship.
Everyone is busy and sometimes people just need some time to themselves. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or don’t want to be with you, they might just have duties and tasks to complete which is okay.
Even if you used to spend so much time with a specific friend and they became busier all of a sudden: don’t jump to conclusions and think they’re getting rid of you. They might just have transitioned to a new chapter of life where they need to do more things outside of you.
Maybe they’re dating someone new or preparing to get married. They could even have had a baby, changed careers, or started a new job, etc. These are all life-changing events that could make a person suddenly become too busy to spend time with us doing nothing or chatting and it should be okay!
3- Give your friends space without them having to ask:
If you’re the clingy type, you might find that your friends start to give you less and less attention. If you want to keep them as friends, it’s important to give them space without them having to ask for it. Once you notice your clinginess with them, take a step back and correct your behavior. Sometimes, people around us need is some time alone or with other people too.
So as we explained earlier don’t take it personally if they don’t want to spend every waking moment with you. Just give them the space they need and enjoy your own company for a while, even if they seem okay and before they need the feel to ask. The entire point is not to get them to the stage where they need to ask you, because if you do then it usually means that they got suffocated and have no patience left for your behavior.
You’ll find that when you’re not so clingy, your friends will be more likely to want to spend time with you. So give it a try; it might just be the best thing for both of you. And try to give your friends the same respect, privacy, and space that you would want from them. If you’re more considerate of their needs, they’ll likely be more considerate of yours.
4- Understand that their world doesn’t revolve around you:
A lot of people seem to think that being clingy with friends is cute or somehow funny, but it’s really not. If you’re constantly texting them or bugging them to hang out, it’s only going to push them away. One of the best ways to stop being clingy is to understand that your friends have a life outside of you and that they need time to work on other relationships as well.
it’s important to remember that friendships are built on giving and taking. Just as you have your own life and need time to yourself, so do your friends. Stop expecting them to drop everything just because you want to hang out. Stop demanding their time and attention. Instead, try giving them some space and see how they respond.
If they’re really your friend, they’ll be happy to make time for you. In fact, you can check this article out on what to do about friends that don’t reciprocate your efforts, if that becomes the case or a new issue.
Their world doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve around you alone. Just because you’re close to them doesn’t mean you’re the only important person in their life. So give them time to spend with their families and others. Give them time to do other things too and let them come to you when they’re ready. If you do that, you’ll find that your friendship will be stronger than ever before.