Moving in with your significant other is a big step and it can be difficult, scary, and overwhelming at times. In particular, it can be tough to adjust to living together, especially for those who have been single for a long time.
But if you are willing to take the risk, moving in with your partner is worth it. It’s a big step that brings you closer together and creates more depth in your relationship. Moving in together is also an opportunity for couples to share their space and create a new home base that reflects their shared identity as a couple.
Moving in together can be delightful… at first!
Moving in together allows you to learn more about each other, your interests, personality, and what is important to you and is overall a great way to help develop a relationship.
However, let’s be honest although you may be excited there are bound to be some reservations. in order for you to live in harmony, it’s crucial to recognize that moving in together isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.
There are many problems that couples face after moving in together. In this article we will highlight 5 common issues couples face when moving in together and how to overcome these problems:
How to solve relationship problems after moving in together:
Here’s a list of 5 common problems that arise when you move in together with your partner and how to solve them, so read on!
1) Need for Privacy:
A lot of people find it hard to adjust to living with someone else, especially if they’re not used to sharing their personal space. This lack of privacy can cause problems like feeling like they are always being watched or having difficulty doing what they used to do alone.
Prior to moving in together you were independent, did exactly what you wanted to do when, where and however you decided, without the need to worry about anyone else. However, once you move in with someone you may feel obligated to share things and be considerate and compromise on things that you normally would not when you were on your own.
This feeling of change can be uncomfortable making you feel suffocated and living according to someone else’s rules rather than your own. Inevitably, this suffocation can develop and brew into something more sinister, where you constantly feel trapped and need to escape and have your own space. Here are some tips to solve this issue:
– Communicate: Make sure that you are communicating openly with your partner about what you need and want out of the relationship.
– Don’t always compromise: There will be times when it’s not possible to have what you want, but make sure that you are not compromising too much on other things that matter like quality time for yourself, making time for each other, etc.
– Make time for yourself: It’s important to spend time on yourself so that you can recharge and focus solely on your relationship without any distractions or stressors.
2) Learning to share:
When you live together, you will have to share space and possessions with your partner. This can be difficult for some people because they don’t like to share their things or don’t like the idea of being in close quarters with someone else. Small issues such as using the same bathroom, can bring out unfamiliar and unpleasant experiences; where you’re not used to adjusting to someone’s different hygiene standards compared to you.
This can be challenging because you are getting used to your partner’s habits and the way they live their life. You might also be getting used to things that are not necessarily bad, but just different from what you’re accustomed to. For instance: You might have to accept a partner who eats in the living room while watching tv, rather than sitting at a dinner table. Or, someone who doesn’t do dishes for a few days.
This can seem overwhelming initially. Nevertheless, the good news is that it does get easier over time! Being organized and setting the following clear rules will make your transition smooth:
– Make a list of what belongs to each of you before moving.
– Talk about what you want to keep and what you don’t want to keep.
– Set up rules for who gets to use what items or do what chores.
– Have a clear idea of when the person will do their assigned chores.
– Discuss a deadline after which the chores should’ve been done, for instance, the longest that dishes can be left uncleaned in the kitchen is one full day.
3) Money Management:
Many couples struggle with managing their finances when they live together, especially if they are not prepared for it beforehand or if they have different ways of managing their finances. In particular, when there are opposing lifestyles or life goals between couples living together, problems arise.
For instance when one is an over-spender and wants to live in the moment, and the other wants to save for future life goals. If these major issues of finances and how to deal with them collectively are not resolved, it can ultimately lead to a lack of trust and the couple splitting up.
There are certain measures we can take to ensure you are prepared and your relationship can withstand this major trial:
– Couples should have a clear understanding of what each person contributes and what each person needs.
– Make a budget and collectively stick to it.
– Work on increasing your own income so that you can support each other financially.
– Create shared savings goals and save together.
– Make sure you have a shared bank account and a joint credit card.
– Talk about money with your partner and try to see things from each other’s perspective.
4) Conflict over household chores:
Statistics show that the number one issue couples initially argue about after moving in together is who should do which household chores. While some people are able to compromise and find a solution, others just find it difficult to agree on how they should handle the chores.
Some people believe that one person should do all the work while others feel that both partners should share responsibilities equally. Some people may be more flexible than others when it comes to adjusting their lives to someone else’s way of living, but a lot of people struggle with this issue nonetheless.
To be successful in any relationship; the key is for both parties to come to a mutual agreement. Maybe, you are willing to compromise or conform to your partner’s needs without them making any effort, you may deem this to be noble or loving. But with time, you will quietly develop resentment deep down in your heart towards your partner.
You will become frustrated at the selfish nature of giving it your all without gaining anything in return. Therefore, it is crucial to adopt the following techniques to prevent this dreaded outcome:
– Understand each other’s feelings and needs. Considerate communication is key!
– Involve your partner in decision-making about housework, so you’re both aware of what needs to be done and when it needs to be done, and who’s responsible for which task.
– Create individual schedules for each person, which will make sure that one does not have too much of a workload and the other does not feel like they are doing nothing.
– Have one person take care of the kids while the other takes care of the household chores. This is a good way to make sure that both people get some time off.
– Have one person take care of all the cooking while another takes care of cleaning up after dinner and making breakfast in the morning.
5) Lack of appreciation for each other:
As couples move in together, they stop appreciating one another. They don’t see the same things as they did when they were dating and their lives become monotonous. It’s easy for them to get into a routine that doesn’t allow time for spontaneity.
They might not realize how much the person they’re living with is worth to them and not appreciate them as much because of the change in routine. They tend to take each other for granted and lose that spice and excitement in life that had once made them fall for one another. If you feel you’re being taken for granted then check this article out later.
If this is something you’re experiencing, then there are various methods to bring your relationship back to life again:
– Keep a list of things that you like about your partner and make a list of things that they like about you.
– Give each other spontaneous gifts, like flowers or jewelry.
– Set aside time for date nights, when the two of you can just relax and not worry about everyday stresses.
– Do some role-play to spice up your intimacy and awaken your senses.
The bottom line:
Yes, it won’t be easy. You will face trials and tribulations in your relationship after moving in together. But it’s important to remember why you did it in the first place. Why do you want that special significant other by your side? How do they make you feel? It’s for all these reasons, it’s worth it.
Remember, to achieve anything worth attaining you have to make an effort and face trials and tribulations. Nothing will come easy, especially not a bright future with your significant other.
Hopefully, this article and the solutions presented above will prepare you for what to expect when moving in together. It will keep you in good stead, so you are not surprised and are a step ahead in how to overcome these common challenges. Best of luck.