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How to slow down a relationship without breaking up?

How to slow down a relationship without breaking up?

All relationships move at a different pace and if you want your relationship to be balanced, healthy, and happy, both partners need to agree on a comfortable pace to keep.

This is especially recommended for relationships where a few steps are being skipped or one of the partners noticed that everything will come crumbling down soon if nothing is done about it. If you or your partner have been moving too fast, you risk committing to something you’re not ready for. 

That’s why you have to come clean about what’s going on that is not right for you. Today, we’ll provide a few tips to help with that. But first, make sure that you understand why you need to slow things down. Your partner deserves to know why you want to slow things down so that they’re on the same page as you.

So make sure to explain what you want to your partner because it will make things a bit easier to process and it will make them cooperate and help so that both of you are working in the same direction.

How to slow things down in a relationship?

1. Have an honest conversation:

The best thing you can do is have an honest conversation with your partner because that’s a lot better than acting weird around them. If you say nothing and have plans to change something in the relationship or your behavior, your partner may get confused and start questioning you which will only complicate things more.

It’s not okay to make them feel like they’ve done something wrong. Instead, take the time to explain why it’s important for you to do this. 

Also, make it very clear that you don’t want to break up, you just need the pace of the relationship to change. Avoid lying or hiding things from your partner, just be transparent and help them understand. If doing what’s right for you is unacceptable to your partner, then maybe you weren’t meant to be in the first place. 

2. Start to spend more time by yourself:

One of the most effective ways to take things down a notch in the relationship is to start spending more time by yourself. If you see each other almost every day, reduce that to a few times a week so you can focus on yourself the rest of the time. Engage with your hobbies, see your friends, or just be by yourself. 

Do what you must to find a balance that works for you and the relationship. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship, take this opportunity to find yourself again. That doesn’t mean you have to distance yourself from your partner, you just have to prioritize yourself more. 

3. Focus on the now:

Talks about the future are one of the most common reasons relationships go fast and end up hitting a brick wall soon. If your partner is too excited about all the possibilities the future brings but that makes you scared or anxious, you should focus on the present instead. 

It’s okay to not be ready to grow up or take responsibility or start a family at the same pace as someone else and it’s okay not to be ready for certain things right now.

Talk to your partner about this and explain that you want to live in the present. You want to enjoy the current stage of your relationship just as it is. There’s no need to rush toward the future, it will be here soon enough. 

4. Don’t text too often:

This one is really up to you. If texting all day every day is starting to feel like a chore, then you should reel it back. Nothing you do in the relationship should feel like an obligation. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to your partner either. Plus, not texting 24/7 leaves a little room for mystery and it can make things exciting again. 

Answer messages at your own pace and don’t be glued to your phone if you don’t want to. Save some stories for when you see each other! If you used to talk on the phone several times a day, that’s also something you can cut down on while still maintaining healthy communication. 

5. Keep things interesting and fun:

Just because you want to slow things down doesn’t mean you can’t keep things interesting, exciting, and fun! Every time you see each other, make it count.

It’s about the quality of the time you spend together, not the quantity. You don’t have to see each other every day to stay close and connected. 

It could be a bit difficult for your partner to adjust to the change at first. So, make the process a bit easier by making your dates special and full of love. Show them that slowing down is not a bad thing at all. In fact, you’ll enjoy each other a lot more. 


Relationships can’t be one-sided. If they are, they probably won’t last very long. There are two people involved, so you must work together to find the pace you’re both happy and comfortable with. You also need to define how much space is needed in your relationship specifically.

If you need to slow things down or if you even need a break, make that clear to your partner and adjust the relationship together to find a nice middle ground. Find your rhythm as a couple and your relationship will become stronger, healthier, and happier because of it. 

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