Most people would agree that trust is one of the pillars of a strong marriage. But what happens when that trust is broken?
Financial infidelity or hiding debt, overspending, or secret accounts from your spouse can be devastating to a relationship. If you’ve been caught in financial infidelity or if your partner has been, it’s important to follow the steps below to repair the damage and rebuild trust.
What is financial infidelity:
Financial infidelity in a marriage is when one spouse keeps financial secrets from the other. This can include hiding debt, spending money without telling your partner, or hiding assets. Financial infidelity can be just as damaging to a relationship as emotional or sexual infidelity.
It can erode trust, cause arguments, and lead to financial ruin. If you suspect that your partner is being financially unfaithful, it’s important to have a serious discussion about money and trust in your relationship.
5 Steps to fix your marriage after financial infidelity:
1- Be honest and forward:
First, be honest about what happened and why. you need to come clean about what happened if you’re the one who committed the financial infidelity. Hiding the truth will only make things worse in the long run.
So try and be honest about how much money you hid or spent, and why you did it. It’s important to have an honest discussion about the issue. If your partner is the one who committed such an act of infidelity; then encourage them to feel safe enough to open up about their reasons and motives.
Each partner should share their feelings and explain what led to the secrecy. This way you will stand a chance of fixing things because you will know the root cause of this betrayal in the first place.
2- Work on rebuilding trust:
Next, work on rebuilding trust by being open and transparent about your finances going forward. This means sharing bank account passwords, opening up about your spending habits, and being honest about any future financial goals.
If one partner has been hiding money or overspending secretly, it can create a lot of tension and mistrust. So, work together to create trust again in your couple by getting on the same page about your finances.
Building trust again when it comes to money may require being open and honest on many levels. One of these includes sharing all financial information with your partner and making joint decisions about your spending. By doing this type of thing, you can begin to rebuild the trust that was lost and move forward together.
3- Commit to being more open and honest with one another:
It’s important to make a commitment to have good communication and transparency going forward. If you can openly discuss your finances and never hide anything again from one another, you’ll be able to overcome financial infidelity and strengthen your marriage.
Also, it’s important, to be honest with each other about not only your finances but everything you do behind your spouse’s back or in their absence. Overcoming financial infidelity means being able to be open about your income, debts, spending habits, and expenses.
You should also be an open book when it comes to your financial goals and aspirations. In other words, make sure you leave no stone unturned when dealing with your finances together as a couple. It may be difficult to rebuild trust after a betrayal, but honest communication is a vital first step.
4- Agree on a budget and stick to it:
In the end, if you truly want to get over this, you need to work together to create a budget that both of you can commit to. You can set a specific budget for different departments of life such as rent, groceries, clothing, etc.
And, you should both respect this plan and work towards it with short-term saving goals in mind and long-term ones; that will enable you to reach bigger financial goals. These could be buying a house or going more often on vacations together, etc. Even though this can be a difficult process, it’s essential for getting your finances back on track.
So as explained, you need to put together a detailed plan for how you’ll handle money in your marriage going forward. This may include setting up joint bank accounts or credit cards or agreeing to follow a list of milestones such as paying off debt first and then saving for different purposes and goals, as explained.
5- Seek professional help if needed:
Finally, if needed you two have to consider seeking professional help, especially if you’re having trouble resolving things on your own. Financial infidelity can be a sign of deeper underlying issues, so couples counseling may be necessary to work through everything.
This could be in the form of therapy or counseling. During this time, you and your spouse can talk openly about what happened and why it happened. You can also work on rebuilding trust and developing a plan to move forward, in the presence of a professional mediator. Financial infidelity can be damaging to a relationship, but with professional help, you can move forward and heal properly.
By following these steps, you can begin to repair the damage caused by financial infidelity and save your marriage. With time and effort, it can become possible to be more transparent and honest with one another again.