Though your partner may love you dearly, it’s never easy to deal with someone who’s acting difficult, because they are too needy or clingy. We all enjoy our personal space, even if we are in a great relationship. So, pushing through your partner’s boundaries because you feel like you need their touch, time or attention can lead to issues.
It’s important to understand that people have different love languages. If your love language is touch but that’s not something you have in common with your partner, it can be difficult to navigate that difference. You both have to make compromises, but whenever you can’t help but act too needy, you need to make up for it.
Today, we will show you how to redeem yourself after acting needy in 4 steps. But first, let’s talk about why being needy can be a problem.
The problem with being too needy in relationships:
Being needy is not always a bad thing. In some cases, it brings you closer together as partners. However, neediness can become a problem if your partner feels suffocated.
If they can’t get through their day without you constantly messaging them or calling them to get their attention, asking for approval, or asking if they love you, being needy is an issue. Why? Because you are essentially making it very difficult for them to navigate their lives and be their own person.
When your needs are reasonable, you should speak up about them. But when they are not and your neediness gets the best of you, it’s important to make amends.
4 Steps to redeem yourself after acting needy:
1- Reflect on your behavior:
The first thing you need to do is reflect on your actions and remain calm. Otherwise, you won’t be able to realize what you did wrong and how to make up for it. When your partner lets you know your behavior has upset them, it can be difficult to process. You love them so much, that the last thing you wanted to do was make them feel like you were suffocating them.
However, if they mentioned it to you then it still doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world or that your relationship will end. Don’t beat yourself up over acting needy. We all make mistakes sometimes, but the good thing is we can learn from them. Improving yourself will make your relationship stronger.
If it doesn’t and your partner is not willing to move past this, no matter what you do, they were not right for you to begin with. Or, maybe they were looking for any silly excuse to attack you.
2- Identify the type of behaviors that your partner categorises as needy:
Once you feel calm and collected, it’s time to identify the behaviors that caused the issue in the first place. More often than not, we’re not conscious of the way we’re acting. You may not think you were acting needy, but once you put yourself in your partner’s shoes, it’s easy to see what went wrong.
Knowing what behaviors are troublesome in the relationship is key. This is what allows us to improve as partners and compromise, which is essential in healthy relationships.
But first, you have to understand what type of behavior is a problem in your relationship, if you can’t figure it out then feel free to ask your partner. Speaking to your partner can also help to get more of their perspective.
3- Start working on yourself:
After we take a deep look into the behaviors that cause harm to our most important relationships, the next move is to work on ourselves. Realizing that the way we are acting doesn’t do good is the most difficult part of the process.
Then, being willing to do the work to improve can also be challenging. Just think about how much your relationship will thrive though if you did. Also, think about how much better you will feel once you work through the issues that cause you to be needy. If you can’t go through the process on your own, working with a counselor can help and motivate you to work on yourself.
4- Respect your partner’s boundaries
Respecting their boundaries is perhaps the best way to make up for acting needy and disrupting your partner’s life. Give them a little space, which is what they need, and work on your independence in the meantime. Focus on your hobbies and the things that make you happy so your life doesn’t revolve around your partner.
Being more independent doesn’t mean the relationship will suffer. It just means you will be able to create a better balance. That way, you don’t suffocate your partner.
Instead, you will be able to enjoy your time with them a lot more and come closer together without being needy. If you’re not sure, check this article out on how much space is needed in relationships.
It’s not reasonable to assume that will just stop being needy once you realize it harms your relationship.
It will take some work and your partner should be patient with you throughout the process, but it will be worth it. Also, remember that actions speak louder than words! So, show your partner that you can do better.