People who aren’t good for you, are almost inevitable. It’s a lesson you have to learn in life so you can be smarter about the people you allow into your inner circle. Having access to your life is a privilege to anyone you allow in, but sometimes people are not what they seem to be.
Toxic people don’t show you that they’re toxic right away, but it’s not difficult to tell when you know what to look for. Now, that doesn’t mean you should distrust everyone you meet. However, you do need to be cautious, especially if you have a bad gut feeling about someone.
If you want to recognize a person who will ruin your life, there are a few things you should pay attention to. These are signs someone wants to destroy you, or at least doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Based on that, you can decide whether or not they’re worthy of being close to you or even in your life.
5 Traits to recognize a person who will ruin your life:
1. They constantly put other people down:
Beware of people who don’t hesitate to put others down or talk badly about them. They will do the same to you the second you turn around. So, you must pay attention to the way they talk to and about others.
Do they always find something to criticize about every other person they meet? Are they quick to judge without knowing? Are they prone to gossip? Do they speak ill about people behind their backs, while being nice to their faces? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, that’s a red flag.
2. They are dishonest:
Dishonesty is another big red flag you shouldn’t ignore. If they’re constantly lying or being deceptive, they will be a negative force in your life. These are the kind of people who never keep their word and are constantly letting you down. Yet, somehow, it’s never their fault.
This one is a bit more difficult to identify because some people are really good liars. But even good liars slip up. Plus, there are other ways of being dishonest. For example, do they keep many secrets? Do they keep some truths that they know, hidden?
There’s a difference between privacy and withholding important information that could be useful to you.
3. They always give you backhanded compliments:
People who want to ruin your life, don’t want to see you succeed at anything. They hate to see you doing well, so they won’t be genuinely happy for you. As a result, their compliments will always be just a bit backhanded. It will be subtle so you don’t notice right away, but you will if you pay attention.
“Oh, you’re marrying a prince? Maybe it’s because he just wants to be with someone ORDINARY.” See my point? People who want to see you do well will encourage you and nurture your confidence, as much as you nurture theirs. Toxic people won’t do that.
They will try to make you feel bad about everything, by pointing out the negatives or using your insecurities against you. Sometimes they may make up securities they think you may have and attack you discreetly from that angle.
4. They don’t know the words “I’m Sorry”:
Even if they’re clearly in the wrong, people who want to ruin your life will never apologize for anything. They are incapable of admitting their faults or failures. Additionally, they will try to turn things around on you and make you feel responsible somehow.
Gaslighting is one of the most common forms of emotional manipulation and toxic people are experts at it. This is why being armed and informed on how to deal with someone who tries to gaslight us, can only be beneficial.
They will deny reality and your experiences to make you doubt yourself. They will do this in an argument or even when you open up to them, so they can manipulate you into feeling bad about yourself.
5. They are emotionally exhausting:
After you spend time with a toxic person, you will feel emotionally and mentally drained. That’s because, unconsciously, you have your guard up. Additionally, they make you second-guess yourself and defend everything you say because they never allow you to be right.
It’s their way or the highway, so they never meet you or anyone halfway. Not to mention, they’re always the victim. That means they are always talking about how someone did them wrong or looked at them or even you funny.
When you spend time with people who are positive and truly love you, you will feel inspired, warm, and appreciated. Toxic people have the opposite effect.
Recognizing a person who wants to ruin your life can be tricky sometimes. However, toxic people are not as good as they think at hiding their true colors.
At first, those colors will shine through in the way they treat other people and relate to them. When they get closer, you will learn a lot from the way they make you feel.
Not everyone that comes into your life will have good intentions, so be cautious. However, we’re happy to say good people are a lot more common!