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How to love a woman with abandonment issues?

How to love a woman with abandonment issues?

Feeling abandoned or rejected by someone you love is one of the worst feelings in the world. Victims of that kind of treatment by their partners can experience trauma and develop many different issues. 

Women who have been hurt in past relationships often find it difficult to trust or even love again. They also find it difficult to accept the love they’re given because they think the past will repeat itself and they’ll be left or hurt again. 

If you’ve met a wonderful woman but you’ve noticed she seems to have abandonment issues, it’s important to be careful. Do you want to show her you love her and are worthy of her trust? Here’s how to love a woman with abandonment issues in 5 ways!

5 Ways to Love a Woman With Abandonment Issues:

1- It will take time, so be patient:

A woman with abandonment issues will surround herself with many personal walls. They’ve been hurt and burnt in the past, so they are trying to protect themselves. It has nothing to do with you, but they’ve essentially been taught not to trust men right off the bat. 

As such, they will likely have their guard up in the beginning. It will take time to earn their trust and breakthrough their walls one by one. However, it will definitely be worth it. Be patient and understanding, take things one step at a time, and be an effective, honest communicator. The latter is super important, even if communication feels awkward at first, don’t neglect it. 

2- Be open about your feelings:

You can’t expect anyone to be vulnerable with you if you’re not vulnerable with them. Especially not when you’re trying to connect and love a woman with abandonment issues. You don’t have to withhold or walk on eggshells around her. She will be emotional at times because she tends to overthink things and is constantly on alert. 

To ease her fears, learn to express your feelings and be as forthcoming as possible. There’s no such thing as over-communicating when you’re with someone with abandonment issues. The more they know about how you feel and what’s going on in your head, the better. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have boundaries, it just means you should be transparent and meet them halfway. 

3- Prove yourself:

Loving a woman with abandonment issues means you have to be ready to prove yourself. Remember, this is someone who has been hurt many times in the past. She has opened her heart and her ex-partners didn’t protect it, they played with it. You have to show her you’re not like that and prove that you truly are who you say you are. 

It’s more challenging to earn the trust of someone with abandonment issues. That means it won’t be enough to tell her, you also have to show her. The more consistent you are, the more she will open up to you and you’ll have a chance to give her the love she deserves. An incredible relationship can be born out of that and you can help her heal just by being true. 

4- Correct their negative self-talk:

Though they need to learn to do this themselves, it never hurts to correct someone’s negative self-talk. If she says awful things about herself out loud because she feels guilty about not trusting you yet, lashing out about something, or creating scenarios in her head, correct her. 

Whenever she apologizes about “not being normal”, remind her it’s not her fault. Also, it’s perfectly normal to be careful with your heart when you’ve been betrayed in the past. Help her see things from a different perspective and it will allow her to shed all that negative self-talk. 

5- Remind her how much you care about her :

Women with abandonment issues need greater reassurance. So, you need to make sure you show her how much love and care about her. If you feel you have no valid reason to ask for constant reassurance in a relationship, but you still do then check this article out.

Don’t just say “I love you” every two seconds. Instead, remind her that she’s beautiful. Compliment her often by mentioning her strengths and the things you like about her. 

Whatever it is that you admire about her, make sure she knows. Also, show appreciation for the effort she puts into the relationship and for letting you in, even if it’s just little by little. She deserves the world and you’re willing to give it to her if she’s willing to accept it from you. 


Loving a woman with abandonment issues is not difficult. You just need to understand her needs and do your best to fulfill them. You can also check our article on how to deal with a partner with attachment issues.

In the end, loving anyone with issues will require more effort because you’re essentially teaching them to love again, but it will be worth it. You can build a strong relationship together, just show them you’re committed to it and go from there. 

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