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How to know if he wants a relationship without asking?

How to know if he wants a relationship without asking?

Let’s be real, men are great, but they’re not always honest or open about their true intentions. No matter how much we say we want honesty, they won’t always speak clearly about what they want. Not even if we ask. 

So, if you want to know whether a guy wants a relationship or a fling, asking is not always the best strategy. Luckily, men are not too difficult to read, and paying attention to their behavior will reveal a lot about what they truly want. 

If you’ve been dating a guy for a while, you should know if he wants a relationship or not. Otherwise, you’ll waste your time with someone who’s not in it for the long haul. To avoid that, here are the signs you should watch out for!

5 Signs a guy wants a fling, not a relationship:

1. He doesn’t include you in his inner circle:

If you’ve been dating this guy for a while but it seems like he keeps you separate from the rest of his life, that could mean he’s not looking for anything serious. Even if you’re not at the level of meeting his parents yet, he should’ve introduced you to his friends at least. 

There’s nothing wrong with one-on-one dates, but if he never includes you in any of his plans with his friends, that’s a red flag. It may mean that he only sees you as a fling and he doesn’t expect you to be a part of his life for too long. If he saw you as a potential girlfriend, he would bring you to group hangouts to see how you get along with his close friends, who are also an important part of his life. 

2. Texting is his main form of communication:

When a guy only texts or slides into your DMs, that’s a red flag. Especially if he only does it to see if you can meet him last minute to “chill”. It doesn’t get any clearer than that, he only wants a fling. If he was truly interested in you, he would maintain steady communication and he would ask you out on real dates. 

Additionally, he wouldn’t only text you, he would also call from time to time because he wants to hear your voice or even get on a video call if you haven’t been able to see each other in a while. Occasional texting means you’re just an option, one of the girls in his rotation. If that’s not where you want to be, you have to walk away. 

3. He’s too fixated on your looks:

When a guy only compliments your physical appearance, it could mean he’s not interested in anything else. You’ve been dating, so he should be able to compliment who you are as a person unless he hasn’t been paying attention or doesn’t care to get to know you as a person.  

If he’s only complimenting your looks it’s because that’s the only thing he’s been paying attention to. So, that’s one of the biggest ways to tell that this man is only interested in a fling. Your ego may get hurt, but if you’re looking for a steady relationship, you should accept this harsh truth and move on. This man is clearly not the one for you. 

4. He doesn’t open up about anything:

Guys who only want to hook up with you won’t open up about themselves and they won’t try to build an emotional connection with you. They will do the bare minimum and that’s it. 

He won’t try to get to know you in any meaningful way and he won’t share much about his life with you. He might even look bored or change the subject whenever you try to have deep conversations with him. After all, that’s not how he wants to spend his time with you. 

5. He doesn’t care about your needs:

Guys who are not looking for a relationship are often quite selfish, so they won’t care much about your needs. They’re not trying to connect with you on a deeper level, so they won’t be very interested in what you want. 

That doesn’t mean they will treat you badly, it just means that they won’t go the extra mile to show interest. They won’t ask many questions about your life and they may even forget a lot of the things you say to them because they’re not paying much attention. 


It’s very easy to tell whether a guy wants a relationship or a fling when you stay focused and don’t let your ego get in the way. The rule of thumb here is: if he wanted to make an effort, he would. If he wanted to spend quality time with you instead of just hooking up, have a more active role in your life, get to know you, plan fun dates, surprise you, etc., he would.

Don’t believe anyone who says they don’t have time or are too busy for you. When a man wants he will make time for you even if he had the most demanding job on earth. So if he doesn’t, it means that he wants something casual. 

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