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How to help your partner be more romantic?

How to help your partner be more romantic?

It’s not uncommon for women to describe their partner as being unromantic. After all, every one of us has a different love language, meaning we express our love differently. Your love language won’t always match that of your partner, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy, loving relationship. 

If your partner is not romantic but you are, there are things you can do to find balance and have a happy relationship. Remember, being unromantic doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It just means they express their love differently. So, instead of feeling annoyed about it, here’s what you can do to cope. 

What to Do If My partner Is Not Romantic?

1) Be honest about what you want:

Communication is vital in a relationship, so there’s nothing to lose from being honest about what you want. nobody can read minds and our partner can only be so creative, so telling them what you want, it will inspire them and they can work on their romance from there. 

Unexpressed feelings will explode sooner or later, so talk to him about how the lack of romance makes you feel and why romance is important to you. Nothing bad will come out of it and there’s nothing wrong with saying that you want their full attention and care. 

2) Moderate your expectations:

Unromantic people can change once they understand how beneficial romance is for the relationship and how much it means to their partner. However, your expectations need to be realistic. 

If romance is not their strength, it means they won’t change overnight. It’s a process and you should encourage them every time they make an effort, no matter how small it is. They will get better at it and eventually surprise you. 

3) Be romantic first:

If you are the romantic one but you’ve decided not to express that side of you, it’s time to start. People respond to romance, so whether your boyfriend or hubby is romantic or not, he will want to make you feel the same way you make him feel. 

So, give your partner flowers; they won’t see it coming and even manly men secretly love Little gestures or write them a love letter every once in a while. Set up romantic dinners, surprise them with a gift, etc. Take the lead on romantic gestures and it will set the tone for the relationship. 

4) Remember it’s not a competition:

Constantly comparing your partner’s romantic efforts to the efforts of other people or yours or what you see online will cause more harm than good. It’s not a competition and it will hurt their ego. 

Put yourself in that position, would you be okay with your partner comparing you to other people? No. So, instead of comparing, encourage and celebrate your partner’s efforts so that they can continue exploring their romantic side and you can continue enjoying it.

5) Be ready to compromise:

Healthy relationships are all about compromise and finding a middle ground. So, if your partner is willing to learn to be more romantic and do romantic things with you, you should be as willing to do the things that they enjoy even if they’re not really your cup of tea. 

These things could be going to games, watching the movies your partner likes, etc. This will show them that you are making an effort too and they will appreciate it. They’re not the only one that needs to compromise and that’s something you need to keep in mind. 

6) Don’t force it:

Nagging your partner about anything is never a good idea. Remember, a lack of romance doesn’t equal a lack of feelings or affection. Forcing your partner to express their love in a way you see fits, or the exact same way you do, will be counterproductive and it can cause huge issues in the relationship. 

Accept him or her, and their kind of romance as they are, and remember all the other things that make them perfect for you. Though romance is important, it’s not the only thing that makes a relationship successful. 

7) Understand their love language:

As mentioned earlier, everyone has a different love language. So, let’s say your partner is not romantic in the same way you are. But ask yourself, how do they show me affection? Sometimes we just don’t realize that our partners are being romantic in their own way. 

Maybe they like to do little gestures for you that you don’t even notice like; making you coffee or cooking for you, they provide words of encouragement whenever you need them, etc. What do they do that brings you joy?

It doesn’t have to be a bouquet of roses or a romantic letter. They could be the breadwinner or provider for your needs and the household, so understand that anything they do counts!

The bottom line:

We are taught that romance is a kind of show and it’s always big and boastful. However, it can be found in the little things your partner does for you every day, you just need to learn to see and appreciate them. You have to put a lot of work into trying to decipher your partner’s specific love language, as that could help you understand how they express their love better.

So, instead of complaining about your partner’s lack of romance, try to understand their love language and don’t be afraid to talk to him or her, and lead by example. 

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