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How to get out of the friend zone through text?

How to get out of the friend zone through text?

You recently met someone amazing and you’re excited about them, but it feels like they might have friend-zoned you through text. It’s not the best feeling in the world, but there are still things you can do to see if there’s a chance. 

There are many reasons why someone would put you in the friend zone. It doesn’t always mean they’re not interested. For example, perhaps you weren’t flirty so they had no idea you were interested in them that way. Maybe you were too available or you took too long to make a move. 

Today, we will show you how to get out of the friend zone through text and hopefully get a second chance. 

How to get out of the friend zone through text:

1- Change your language a bit:

Sometimes, people put you in the friend zone because they think you only want to be friends. If you suspect that might be the case, go through your text conversations and try to see how your language might have put you in the friend zone. Perhaps this person has tried to flirt with you but you tend to turn it into a joke or brush it off. 

Maybe you address them as friends all the time and there’s nothing about your language that suggests you might be into them. If that’s the case, changing your language could help get you out of the friend zone.

Instead of sending plain texts, try flirting a bit. Be a bit cheeky, make them see you in a different light. If they flirt with you, roll with it and see where it goes. Turn the tables! 

2- Don’t answer immediately:

When we’re interested in someone, we tend to reply right away and make ourselves too available. That’s not wrong, but it can take away from the other person’s excitement. Making them wait a little bit for a reply will create a bit of mystery. Don’t drop everything to message them back in seconds. 

Go about your life and answer when you can. People find it attractive when you show interest but they also want to work for your attention a little bit. Giving them a bit of a challenge will make things more engaging and interesting for them.

It will make them wonder what’s holding you up and it could make them crave your attention even more. If that happens, you’ll know you’re out of the friend zone. 

3- Take your flirting up a notch:

We already talked about changing your language, but if that’s too subtle to make a difference, try taking your flirting up a notch. If they always think you’re joking when you’re being flirty, then you have to be more obvious or serious about it. You don’t want to overdo it, you just need to make sure your message is loud and clear. 

If this person is interested in you as more than friends, they will pick up on that and things will start to move along. You don’t have to be flirty all the time. If they are trying to have a normal conversation with you, avoid turning everything they say into something flirtatious. Instead, drop some flirty messages here and there that are impossible to ignore or misinterpret. 

4- Be more confident:

It’s not uncommon for us to feel awkward around someone we’re interested in, even through text. However, you must lean into your confidence if you want to get out of the friend zone. Treading lightly and being too vague is what got you in the friend zone in the first place. So, it’s time to try a different approach. 

If you lack confidence, you can take baby steps. Use your humor to be a bit more forward and then, if they respond well to that, you can be a bit more serious about it. If they don’t respond well you can pretend it was a joke and just move on.

Talk to friends and brainstorm ways to be a bit more forward about your intentions of being more than friends. Being more confident will help change the way they see you and go from a friend to a potential date. You can check this article out on how to stop being a dry texter if you think your interactions through messages are so dry that you’re left with no material to work with. 


When you change the way you speak to them, you will change the dynamic between you. Eventually, you will see a window of opportunity to ask them out. Maybe you’ve been jokingly flirting and they say something like “stop playing”. 

That’s your opportunity to say “I’m dead serious, let’s go on a date and I’ll show you.” Find the way to make the ultimate move and let the chips fall where they may. If they say yes, awesome!

If they say not and make it clear they only want to be friends, that can be a bit of a bummer, but at least now you know for sure. Either way, it’s a win!

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