If you’re in a relationship with a guy and you find yourself always being the one to initiate plans, it can be frustrating. You might feel like you’re always the one doing the work to keep things going.
Whether it’s making dinner reservations or planning a weekend getaway, it always falls on you to take the lead. If you’re wondering how to get him to initiate plans, we’re here to help.
So don’t worry, there are ways to get him to start taking the initiative more.
4 steps to get him to take the initiative in making plans:
1- Gradually involve him more when making plans:
First, try being less assertive and giving more room to his suggestions too when it comes to specific activities that you would like to do together.
If he’s hesitant or wants to take you to take the lead, try giving him a few options and making him choose the one you end up going for. For example, if he loves basketball, suggest checking out a game or playing some hoops together.
You can also try being less available and seeing if he steps up to the plate. If he knows that you’re busy with work or other obligations, he may be more likely to make plans in advance so that you can still spend time together.
2- Take a step back and drop hints:
Another strategy is to take a step back and let him take the lead for a while. See what happens when you give him some space to see if he’ll step up. There’s also nothing wrong with simply expressing your needs and desires directly but sitting in a corner and waiting is also a way of doing things.
If you want more romance or quality time, drop hints and imply that you need a little more and see what he comes up with. Chances are, he’ll be happy to make an effort once he sees that it makes you happy, especially if you give him the impression that he’s the one who came up with the idea as you didn’t verbally and directly ask anything of him yet.
Whatever approach you take, just remember that it takes two to tango and your partner should be willing to reciprocate your efforts when it comes down to it. But, if he doesn’t get the hint, maybe you spoiled him a bit too much and he’s just too used to having you be in charge.
In this case, don’t despair, there’s still direct communication to try. If you can express your needs in a calm and understanding way, you’ll be more likely to get what you want from your relationship.
3- Act so thrilled for every little plan he makes to encourage him to do more:
Getting your guy to initiate plans can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. Just as long as you grab any little effort he makes, and make a big deal out of it. Show a lot of excitement and happiness at the smallest initiative he takes, and go as far as to reward him for it. If you get him to see how much his little gestures matter to you, he will look for new opportunities to repeat them.
Let him know that you appreciate him taking the lead and that you’re always happy to follow. Throw yourself at your neck, hug him and dramatize in a positive way the fact that he planned a night out for the two of you. You can also let him know that you’re always up for whatever he has in mind.
By doing this, you’ll get him to see that you’re fun and easy-going and that you deserve all he does for you. Don’t hesitate to clearly tell him how much you enjoy spending time with him, and doing things he likes, organizes, and chose. With just a little effort on your part, you’ll get your man to start taking the lead more often.
4- Tell him about your preferences and expectations of him:
In the end, remember that everyone is different and some people simply need a little more nudging than others. If all else fails, sit down and have a conversation about your expectations when it comes to dating and see if he’s on the same page.
Simply ask him directly if he wouldn’t mind taking on more responsibility in planning date nights or outings. Make it clear that you enjoy spending time with him and that you’re just looking for a little balance. With a little effort, you should be able to get him to initiate plans in no time!
But, until then it doesn’t cost anything to have a talk with your man and to explain to him as many times as it takes that these little things can make you feel special. In fact, if your boyfriend never does anything special for you then you can check this article out to see a few possible reasons. And, don’t forget that this is one reason on our list of reasons why you might be mad at your partner all the time without knowing why.