One of the biggest challenges in a marriage can be getting your husband to help with chores without nagging. It’s not easy to find the right balance of asking and reminding, without sounding like a nag. Ultimately, it can be very tempting to just give up and do everything yourself, but that is not sustainable in the long run.
Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that there’s always some give-and-take when it comes to sharing chores. One person usually ends up doing more than the other, and it can often lead to frustration and resentment.
If you’re the one who’s stuck with the majority of the household duties, you may be wondering how to get your husband to do his fair share, without nagging him. Don’t worry. You have come to the right place. Let us be your guide. Here, we present you with 5 key tips to get your husband to help around the house without nagging.
5 Tips to get your husband to do chores without nagging:
Tip 1: Talk to him about your expectations.
If you find yourself nagging your husband to help with chores around the house, it may be time to have a talk with him about your expectations. First, explain to him why you need his help. Whether it’s because you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply need an extra set of hands, make sure he understands that this is not a request, but a necessity.
It’s important to take a step back and try to have a conversation with him about how everything is impacting you. Explain to him how it makes you feel doing everything on your own, and see if he’s willing to pitch in more. Chances are, he’s not even realized how much work you’re actually doing.
Once he understands how much you’re shouldering on your own, he may be more than happy to lend a hand. Communication is essential here. If you simply tell him that you need help around the house, he may not understand what you’re asking for.
Instead, try to sit down and have a conversation with him about what you’re hoping he’ll do. Be specific about what you need and be sure to listen to his suggestions as well. By communicating openly and honestly, you can reach a compromise that works well for both of you.
Tip 2: Make a chore chart.
Another tip to help avoid you nagging your husband to do his share of the chores is to go ahead and make a chore chart. By assigning specific tasks to each day of the week, you can help him stay on track and get things done without having to constantly remind him. This way, he’ll know exactly what needs to be done and when it needs to be done.
Plus, it can be helpful to give him some direction on how you want things done. For instance, if you prefer that the dishes be washed a certain way or that the laundry is put away in a certain order, be sure to include those instructions on the chore chart.
Having everything spelled out can help make things run more smoothly and help avoid arguments down the road. Remember, once you have a plan in place, try to resist the urge to micromanage. So, if you’re ready to get your husband to do more around the house, grab a pen and paper and start creating your chore chart today.
Tip 3: Be patient.
Thirdly, If you’re looking to get your husband to help out around the house without nagging, the key is to be patient and be willing to lead by example, initially. If he’s never really done much in the way of chores around the house, he’s not going to suddenly become a domestic god overnight.
But if you see that he’s making an effort, give him some encouragement; and let him know you appreciate it. It’ll go a long way. So, be willing to help out initially with tasks that you’ve assigned to him for a little while.
For example, if you want him to start cooking more, offer to do the grocery shopping and help with meal prep. If you want him to take on more of the cleaning, offer to show him how you like things done and then gradually back off until he gets the hang of things.
Don’t forget, that change takes time. You have to be considerate of this transition phase for him to allow him to find his feet. Getting your husband to help out around the house can be a challenge, but if you’re patient and willing to put in some effort yourself, it can be done.
Tip 4: Don’t do everything yourself.
If you’re like most women, you probably do the lion’s share of the household chores, even if you both worked full time. But just because you’re used to shouldering the load doesn’t mean you have to keep doing everything yourself. Nagging your husband to help out is only going to make him resentful, so instead, try taking a different approach.
When you need his help with something, ask him nicely and let him know how much you appreciate it. At the same time, don’t let him take you for granted. If he consistently expects you to do everything, have a serious talk with him about sharing the household chores.
Try to gently encourage him to chip in more around the house. If you notice that he is actively making an effort then don’t be critical. He may not do things exactly when or how you want him to, but ultimately, it’s more important that he’s doing his part to help out.
In the end, it’s important to remember that you’re a team, and both of you should be pitching in. By working together, you can keep your home running smoothly without driving each other crazy in the process.
Tip 5: Find a system that works for both of you.
Last but not least. One of the best things you can do to get your husband to help around the house without nagging is to work toward each other’s strengths and weaknesses. For example, if he is better at laundry than you are, let him take care of that while you work on something else, or if he enjoys cooking then let him cook whilst you do the dishes.
On the other hand, if there are certain chores that you know he hates doing, try to find a way to work around that. Maybe you can offer to do them together so that it’s not so daunting. Or, maybe you can offer to do them in exchange for something else that he does for you.
Whatever you do, work together to find a system that will make both of your lives easier without nagging. And remember, just because he doesn’t do things the way you do them, doesn’t mean they’re wrong. So, try to be flexible and work together as a team.
If you’re both on the same page and compromising he will slowly get into the habit of helping out more and more on his own accord, as he will realize, he is appreciated and valued. As a result, you’ll both be happier and your marriage will be stronger for it.
In the end, you can think about reading this closely-related article too, if you happen to have difficulty getting your husband to help around the house or if he’s one to get upset when you ask.