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How to fix an on-again-off-again relationship?

How to fix an on-again-off-again relationship?

Most of us have been in an on-again, off-again relationship at some point. You meet someone, things go great for a while, and then something happens and you drift apart. But then you find yourself drawn back together again. And the cycle repeats.

On-again-off-again relationships can be exhausting, both emotionally and mentally. It can be hard to keep track of where you stand with someone, and even harder to try and repair the damage that’s been done every time you break up and makeup.

It can feel like you’re stuck in a breaking-up cycle that never seems to end. Not only is it confusing and frustrating, but it can also take a toll on your self-esteem. Why can’t you just make things work? What’s wrong with you?

These are the kinds of questions that can start to creep into your mind when you find yourself stuck in such a situation. So how do you fix an on-again-off-again relationship? That’s exactly what we’re going to be addressing in today’s article, so read on.

6 ways to fix an on-again-off-again relationship:

1- Try to solve any underlying issues:

If you’re constantly getting back together with someone, it can be a sign that you have unresolved issues that need to be addressed. This means that maybe you have the same problem that keeps breaking you up every single time. And, as long as it doesn’t get solved and fully eliminated; it will keep doing the same.

In this case, it’s important to try to identify and solve any underlying issues. This may require some honest self-reflection and communication with your partner. If you’re able to resolve the issues, that’s great!

However, even if you’re not able to completely fix things, there are still things you can do to improve the relationship. Try communicating more openly and regularly, or even brainstorming for solutions to solve that re-occurring issue. For instance, if you keep fighting over finances then maybe it’s time for one of you to get an extra job. Being understanding and flexible will help you make an effort to rebuild trust.

These things won’t necessarily fix all the problems, but they can help make the relationship more stable and enjoyable.

2- Clarify your needs and expectations to your partner:

Also, it’s important to communicate with your partner. When you feel like things are starting to cool off, talk about what’s going on and why you think the relationship is struggling. It’s also important, to be honest about your expectations and needs. If you’re not happy with the way things are going, say so.

Do you want to be in a committed relationship? Or are you happy with a more casual arrangement? Once you know what you’re looking for, it will be easier to communicate these needs to your partner. If they’re not on the same page, then it may be time to move on.

However, if both of you are willing to work on the relationship and work on achieving the same goals, then there’s a good chance that you can get back on track. Just remember to take things slow and be honest with each other about what you’re feeling. With some effort, you can fix an on-again-off-again relationship and make it stronger than ever before.

3- Work collectively and actively on breaking the cycle:

This type of relationship is usually based on a cycle of breaking up and getting back together, often without any real resolution. If you’re in this situation, it’s important to first understand the reasons why it’s happening. Once you’ve done that, you can start to work on fixing the relationship, especially if you’ve established that you have the same goals and aspirations and that you’re heading in the same direction.

This may involve making some changes in your own behavior, communicating more effectively, or seeking professional help. Whatever approach you take, the goal should be to break the cycle and create a more stable and lasting relationship.

That also means being honest with each other about what’s not working and being willing to put in the effort to change things. It sounds daunting, but it’s worth it to save your relationship. Plus, once you break the cycle, you’ll be better equipped to handle any future bumps in the road.

4- Take a break from the relationship:

While you follow all the steps above if you find yourself in another separation or break-up even during the process of trying to fix things, then maybe consider taking a break.

So don’t be afraid to take some time for yourself, before you jump right back into your partner’s arms again. If you need a break from the relationship, tell your partner when they reach out for reconciliation and take some time to focus on your own happiness. If your partner doesn’t even reach out then maybe let them be. Maybe you’re the one who’s always going out of your way to keep the two of you together, in this scenario.

In any case, consider taking some time apart to really evaluate your relationship. What are the good parts? What are the bad parts? What are you willing to work on? Once you have a better understanding of what you want, it will be easier to make them into conditions for a new reconciliation.

Plus, your partner may just realize that they could actually end up losing you, next time if they break up with you again. So the break will be their chance to repent and come to their senses if they’re the one that keeps calling it quits every other day. If you want you can read this article later on about how long breaks are supposed to last.

5- Try to find yourself again in the relationship:

If you find yourself in an on-again-off-again relationship, it’s important to step back and assess whether or not it’s really worth your time and energy. More often than not, it’s not.

But let’s say that you really love your on-again-off-again partner and want to make things work. In this case, then at least make sure you don’t lose your identity in this journey that could possibly end up being a lost cause. When you’re in such a relationship; you start to lose yourself in the other person, and your own needs and wants become secondary.

So make sure to schedule some self-love and self-care sessions and to do things that make you happy and make you feel good. Once you’ve taken some time for yourself, you can approach your relationship with a fresh perspective.

6- Seek professional help:

If you’re unable to resolve things on your own, consider seeking couples counseling. With the help of a professional, you may be able to get to the root of your problems and find a way to move forward.

So don’t be afraid to ask for help from a therapist or counselor. They can give you tools and perspectives that you might not have otherwise.

If you’re willing to put in the work, you can fix an on-again-off-again relationship. A therapist can help you and your partner figure out what’s really going on and how to fix it.

In the end, you can think about reading this article too on how to know when a break-up is final after having had multiple with the same person.

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