Having a side chick might be fun in the beginning. However, you can’t ignore the fact that this is a big secret that can interfere with your life and your main relationship. It can even start to make you panicky, depressed, and guilty over time.
It’s not easy to maintain a side chick relationship, and now that you came to that conclusion you decided to end things, but don’t know the best way to do it. We suggest a few things you should try, so read on.
4 Steps to end a side chick relationship:
1- Be clear about your decision:
When you are juggling your time between two people, especially when one of them doesn’t know about the other, it’s very tempting to try to elude one of them with promises.
Usually, the person who ends up hearing those empty promises is the side chick. Deep down, the knows he won’t separate from his main partner or wife, but he still wants to keep his options open. However, when a side chick is catching up with the lies, it becomes harder to do.
If you’re the one in such a situation and you’ve reached a point where you know you will have to make a decision and choose one between these two beautiful women and be with only one of them. It’s not fair on them that you’ve played such games so maybe you realised that and find yourself regretful. Or, maybe your side chick directly pressured you to make a decision. Or it could be that one of the three of you just can’t handle it anymore.
Either way, you’ve decided that you want to remain with your main partner and try to work things out with her. And that’s exactly what your side chick will have to hear. She’s probably so used to hearing lies, that when you tell her you want to end things she won’t believe you at first. This is why you need to be firm about the situation and assure her that, for you, things are completely over.
2- Don’t contact your side chick anymore:
Let’s be honest, if you have a relationship with a side chick, there may have been moments when you thought it was best to end things. Maybe you even tried to act on it, but then resumed things again. So, if you finally decided that it’s time to end the relationship with your side chick, expect her to think that this is not a permanent decision.
If she gives you time, but after a month or even a couple of weeks she sends you a text or even calls you, it means that she did not take you seriously, and believes you will go back to her as soon as you start missing her. Should this happen, don’t just ignore her contact attempts, take some time to reply to her and explain that you meant everything you said about breaking up.
She might enter the denial phase of separation and not take you seriously or keep contacting you. If this happens consider blocking her number and blocking her on your social media accounts. If you have to take action and go out of your way to stop her from reaching out, do it. It may sound harsh, but it’s probably what will make you both move on quickly.
3- Be consistent in your efforts of letting go:
Sometimes, what we lack to make a decision is working with the right mindset. One thing is to want to end the relationship because you know it will only hurt other aspects of your life, especially your main relationship, another thing is to set your mind to it. You will have to make an active and consistent effort to accept the fact that that person will no longer be part of your life.
Essentially, you will have to learn to let go of the things that you experienced together and how good your memories or times together were good. You will have to feel that things are over before actually ending them.
Once you reach this mindset, it will be much easier to end things with a side chick. Not only that, but your side chick will also notice the difference. She will realize that you lost interest in her, therefore, there’s no use in trying to fight for you.
4- Face the fact that hurting her is inevitable:
Even if you wish to end your side chick relationship because you lost interest in her and not because it’s the right thing to do, it might still be hard to bring yourself to do it. Women who don’t mind being a side chick generally fall into two categories: either they aren’t looking for anything serious, or they expect that you will end your main relationship for them. They are willing to wait because they’ve probably been misled by the man in the first place.
Having said this, it’s evident that you will hurt her when you let her know about your decision, should she fall into the second category. Because of this, you might hesitate to end things and fear that you will hurt her a lot, but letting things drag will only elude her more and waste her time.
You may also fear her wrath and desire for revenge in case she decides to take a shot at ruining your life after the beak-up by telling everyone about the relationship the two of you shared. Even if she doesn’t tell on you, you may on your own start to feel guilty eventually for cheating and not telling.
However, in the end, you need to face the fact that you will inevitably hurt her feelings, but that’s why breakups are hard. Be as supportive as you can even while you make your intentions clear. So don’t blame her for anything whatsoever, very apologetic and sorry. After that, all you can do is pray that she lets you go quietly and without drama.