Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows that they’re never perfect. There will always be arguments and disagreements, and sometimes it can feel like you’re just not on the same page.
But one thing that can be especially challenging is when you’re faced with uncertainty. It can be hard to know what the future holds, or where things are going, and this can lead to a lot of anxiety and stress.
However, many argue that uncertainty is a normal part of any relationship. After all, sometimes we can never know what will happen next, despite our best plans and best guesses. Still, uncertainty can be painful and anxiety-inducing. If you’re feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship, there are a few things you can do to help you cope.
6 steps to deal with uncertainty in a relationship:
1- Understand that uncertainty is okay:
First, remember that uncertainty is normal. Uncertainty is a natural part of any relationship. Whether it’s wondering if your partner is going to ever cheat on you, or if you’re going to have a job in the future and be able to support your partner and keep them happy, uncertainty is always present.
The more you familiarise yourself with the idea that it’s normal to feel some type of uncertainty in a relationship, the more you can feel at peace. After all, you can’t know everything about everything. In fact, you have to realize that there are sides or aspects of your partner or their past that they will never let you see and that should be fine.
In the end, your partner probably just wants you to have the best idea possible of them and they’re not trying to hide anything purposefully from you. What matters is to understand that uncertainty will always be there because you may not have the entire picture of things in the first place. This is why the best thing to do is to learn to live with some degree of uncertainty.
2- Focus on the positives:
Whether you’re just starting to get to know someone or you’ve been together for years, there will always be things that you don’t know about the other person. And that’s okay! It can actually be a good thing.
Uncertainty keeps us on our toes and helps us to focus on the positives. It reminds us to appreciate the moments we do have, instead of taking them for granted. So if you’re feeling uncertain about your relationship, take a deep breath and focus on the good.
Try to think of uncertainty itself as a positive instead. A little uncertainty and mystery can make things more exciting, and fun. It doesn’t have to be so negative and bleak. Uncertainty also gives you a chance to enjoy the present regardless of what could be next.
This way, even if something bad was meant to happen then you’d have incredible shared memories to remember rather than having had a life of worrying and doubts even before the unfortunate event itself.
3- Communicate openly with your partner:
Another thing you should do when you feel uncertain about the future of your relationship is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. In fact, uncertainty can also be a sign that you’re both still getting to know each other. So don’t sweat it too much if you don’t have all the answers, try to get a few more every single day and enjoy the ride.
The most important thing is, to be honest with yourself and your partner. If you’re unsure about something, say so. By facing uncertainty together, you can build a stronger bond and ensure that your relationship is based on communication and mutual understanding.
Also, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to ask for more explanation if you don’t fully understand an aspect of your partner’s life, thinking, or actions. By taking these steps, you can help to lessen the anxiety of uncertainty and create a stronger, more resilient relationship.
4- Be willing to put in work:
It’s also important to remember that relationships take work, and even if things are uncertain, you can still make an effort to connect with your partner and build a strong relationship.
Be willing to put in work, whether it’s compromising, communicating, or simply making an effort to understand each other. Making effort is key because all relationships take work, so it’s important to understand that being patient and willing to make things work is necessary.
If at the sight of every problem you jump on your feet and threaten separation or a break-up then your partner may start seeing you as unreliable and unwilling to work on things. This could send a message that they shouldn’t rely on you to be there for them in the future and they may start looking for an exit plan from the relationship before you pull one on them.
Talking about separation, breaking up or divorce will load a relationship with uncertainty and make it likely to collapse and fall apart for the silliest reasons. Let’s say you and your partner were not destined to be with each other for life, even then it’s better to live a happy normal life until the day where you fall apart comes.
This will be so much better than ending up staying with each for life but threatening separation every day and at every argument. It will be like living an extended nightmare rather than just ending things and moving on once and for all.
You may pressure your partner to give you more reassurance and fight off the uncertainty you’re feeling. However, they are likely feeling just as uncertain as you are, and it’s through effort and communication that you’ll be able to get through it together.
So give each other the space and time you need, but be there for each other when it counts. Again, uncertainty is normal, but with patience and effort, you’ll be able to get through it.
5- Have many plans for the future:
One of the best ways to deal with uncertainty is clearly to plan for the future to the best of your ability. This means having honest conversations with your partner about your expectations and what you’re willing to compromise on.
It also means being realistic about your own capabilities and making sure that you’re not setting yourself up for disappointment. Uncertainty can be daunting, but by facing it head-on, you can help ensure that your relationship remains strong in spite of it.
The best way indeed to face uncertainty is to arm yourself with as many backup plans as you can. This could be anything from having a few close friends you can rely on for support to having some savings put away in case things go wrong.
The important part about this is to have a plan B so that you don’t feel completely lost if things don’t work out. Be ready for any scenario of life even if you think your relationship is a true love story. Uncertainty can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. With a little preparation, you can weather any storm even alone, if you have to, which brings us to the next point.
6- Be self-reliant and as independent as you can:
No one likes feeling uncertain in a relationship. When we’re uncertain, it can feel like we’re holding our breath, waiting for something to happen. Will they call? Will they say they love me? Will this work out? Uncertainty can be tough to deal with, but there are ways to manage it.
Another obvious way to deal with uncertainty is to be self-reliant. You can love your partner as much as you want, but still, you should make sure to understand that no one can complete you or make you happy except for yourself.
So, remind yourself that it’s okay to love your partner but it’s not okay to rely on them for your happiness. You can be independent and in a relationship, all at the same time by making sure you never lose yourself in a relationship. Never hesitate to take some time for yourself, when needed.
If you’re feeling uncertain about the relationship, it may also be because you’re not taking care of yourself. So try to spend some time doing things you enjoy, without your partner. Connect with friends and family, read a book, and go for a walk outside. Give yourself time and space to relax, grow independently of your partner and breathe.
Uncertainty is tough, but by taking care of yourself and remembering that you are self-reliant, you can manage to face any scenario that life throws at you. And, you will not be lost or devastated when things that are out of your control go wrong.
No one likes feeling uncertain, especially when it comes to our relationships. We want to know that we’re on the same page as our partners and that we’re heading in the same direction.
Unfortunately, life is full of surprises, and there will always be some element of uncertainty in any relationship. The key is to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way. You can also check this article out on how important reassurance is in any relationship.
Ultimately, providing enough reassurance to one another can definitely help get rid of a big deal of uncertainty in a relationship.