Sometimes, we may feel like someone is plotting against us, or working extra shifts to destroy us. We might not be able to pinpoint the exact reason for this feeling but when it happens, we need to take a step back and analyze what’s going on. We need to learn to trust our instincts and gut-felling before more sinister things happen.
It is important to know that there are many reasons why someone might want to harm you. It could be a personal vendetta or jealousy or even just unreasonable hatred for you. It is important that you don’t let these suspicions overwhelm you and instead try and see if they’re based on truths.
If they are, then you can follow the steps below to get yourself out of any potential trouble:
How to deal with someone who wants to see you hurt:
1- Find their motives:
The first thing to do when you doubt someone is out to get you is to ask yourself why. You should always try and see what the motives of the person who you suspect of wanting to harm you, could be. Then find a way that helps you let them get what they want, if possible, and without hurting you in any way.
So try to first understand what they want and then figure out how you can use that knowledge to your advantage. Their motives and reasons might be something as simple as jealousy or envy. So don’t try to investigate too deep and find valid causes for their hatred. It is not always something justified like revenge or retribution, but it could be.
Keep in mind that the motives for some people could be as silly as just not liking the way that you are living your life and wanting to see you fail.
2- Understand what they’re after and their goals:
If you’re dealing with someone narcissistic, all it could be is that they are feeling overshadowed by you. They want the spotlight on them rather than you and your achievements, for a change.
Narcissism is not just about being selfish and self-centered; it’s also about thinking highly of oneself. Narcissists often have grandiose thoughts and believe that they deserve special treatment because of their intelligence and skills. So if you have been praised publicly by your community, family, or friends for whatever reasons, someone could start feeling uneasy about it.
This is why our first point is about understanding their motives, you need to figure out their intentions and their weaknesses too. This way you will naturally understand their goals too. It is not always easy to find out a person’s intentions and what they’re trying to do.
However, if you do figure their reasons out, it will be easier for you to come up with a strategy to keep them at bay.
3- Offer an apology or clarification and think about making amends:
Once you understand what a person’s reasons and motives are, for what they are trying to do, if it’s something you did in the past then try to offer an apology. If you have wronged them in the past, it is your responsibility to fix things and make amends until they’re satisfied.
You might assume that what you did to them is minor and not worth all the negative feelings they have for you. However, if they’re the victim then only they qualify to say to what extent your actions have caused them distress and damage.
If you did nothing wrong to the person in question; then it could be as explained earlier: that you’re just not their cup of tea. Or, maybe they feel that you’re stealing all the attention and they’re being left behind or neglected because of your shine.
In this case, you can try to make them feel better about the situation by publicly turning the spotlight to their achievements instead. You can try to turn everyone’s attention to them in a family or friend setting. This way they will understand that you’re a harmless ally and a good person and that you never meant any intentional harm.
Sometimes, if someone is just consumed by negative feelings like jealousy then no need to waste your time. Unfortunately, a person like this will only be satisfied if they see you lose everything or get hurt.
4- Talk to them and negotiate:
You don’t have to be afraid or intimidated by the person and their words instead be open to a discussion. If you are not able to talk about your feelings, then write about them and send them a message somehow.
What matters is to get your point across and show that you’re ready to make peace and leave the past behind. Funnily enough, sometimes the people who have strong negative opinions about us, are the ones that turn out to be our biggest fans when we give them a chance to become an ally.
You can ask them why they want to do about it all and try to understand their point of view. It is important for you not to be defensive and instead, show empathy for their feelings and take them seriously. If they’re in denial and act like they have nothing against you, then you can still say your piece and tell them that your door will be open for them when they need you.
5- Take yourself to a safer and more positive environment:
There are a few things you can do to protect yourself if things get out of hand. The first and most important thing is never to put yourself in a position where you are vulnerable. This means not agreeing to meet someone on their terms or agreeing to do anything that shows that you trust someone who you know is undeserving of your trust and honesty.
Always put yourself and safety first and above all. If you think that it will be smarter for you to walk away from that person’s reach, then do it.
Keep in mind that it is important that you understand why they’re doing what they do, what they are trying to accomplish, and what your options are when dealing with this person. Then choose the safest option you can do for yourself! You can also check this article on how to recognize someone who will ruin your life if you find it difficult to even recognize a person like that.