We’ve all had that friend who always flakes on plans, or only wants to hang out when it’s convenient for them.
Whether they cancel last minute or just constantly run late, it can be frustrating to try and make plans with them. However, there are a few things you can do to deal with flaky friends.
5 steps to deal with flaky friends:
1- Be more understanding:
Try to be understanding with your flaky friend. Everyone has a busy schedule and sometimes things come up. It’s possible that they’re going through a tough time and need some space.
We’re not saying it won’t be difficult. In fact, dealing with flaky friends can be tricky. On the one hand, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, everyone has experienced a last-minute cancellation or an unexpected change of plans. However, it can be frustrating when these things happen on a regular basis.
The key is to try not to judge your flaky friends too harshly. Instead, be more patient and kind. Remind yourself that everyone has different priorities and schedules and that your flaky friends are probably just as busy as you are or even more.
With a little patience and understanding, you can still be great friends with someone who isn’t always the most reliable. Who knows? Maybe this is just a phase in their life and not permanent.
Send them a message letting them know you’re there for them if they need to talk. In the meantime, focus on spending time with the friends who are there for you.
2- Don’t take it personally:
It can be really frustrating when you have a friend who flakes on you all the time. Whether they’re always canceling plans at the last minute or regularly standing you up, it can start to feel like you don’t matter to them.
However, it’s important to remember that their flakiness is not personal. There is any number of reasons why someone might cancel on you, and it’s rarely because they don’t want to see you. So, don’t take it personally. Just because someone flakes doesn’t mean they don’t value your friendship.
Next time your flaky friend stands you up, try not to take it personally. Instead, be more spontaneous, come up with different plans at the last minute or go on an adventure or do something you didn’t consider doing before. Just chalk their flakiness up to one of the reasonable reasons we mentioned and move on. Life is too short to get hung up on things like this.
3- Set boundaries:
Third, set boundaries. If someone consistently flakes, let them know that you’re not going to keep making plans that they’re just going to cancel. If your friend’s unreliability is getting you very upset and emotional and you really cannot just brush it off anymore or keep finding excuses for them, then set boundaries and be firm.
After all, we’ve all had flaky friends at some point in our lives, but we have different ways of dealing with it. If you’re dealing with a flaky friend, it’s important to set boundaries when you’ve had enough. Let them know that you’re not going to put up with their last-minute cancellations or no-shows.
Let them know that you expect them to be there for you when they promise they will be. If they can’t meet your expectations, then maybe it’s time to find new friends. Life is too short to waste time on people who can’t be bothered to keep their word. If your personality is such that you cannot tolerate this type of behavior, then cut your losses after too many warnings that result in no change.
You can later think of checking this article on how to deal with friends that don’t reciprocate our kindness and reliability.
4- Don’t put your life on hold for them:
Don’t hesitate to make other plans, if you’re tired of waiting around for your flaky friend. Your time is just as valuable as theirs and you shouldn’t have to put your life on hold because of their unreliable behavior.
If you had plans with them and they cancel last minute, don’t rearrange your whole day around them. If they only ever want to see you when it’s convenient for them, don’t drop everything every time they call.
Don’t be afraid to say “no” to someone so unreliable. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to let them know that their flakiness is inconvenient for you and that you will not tolerate it for long. In the end, you shouldn’t feel guilty for not wanting to deal with their drama.
5- Don’t be a flaky person yourself:
Finally, don’t be a flaky person yourself. If you’re constantly flaking on your friends, they might start to resent you. If you say you’re going to do something, make sure you follow through. That way, you can set a good example for your flaky friend and hopefully encourage them to do the same.
This might sound a little bit like victim-blaming, but it’s really not. The thing is, flakiness is contagious. And if you’re constantly the one person who’s always reliable, always showing up, and always keeping your word, eventually, the flaky people in your life are going to start feeling a little bit bad about themselves.
And that might just be enough to get them to start changing their ways. So don’t be a flake yourself, and hopefully, your flaky friends will eventually follow suit and start to shape up.