We’ve all been there: you’re chatting with someone and they start one-upping you.
Suddenly, everything you say is met with a story that’s even better or a piece of advice that makes your seeming wisdom look foolish. It can be frustrating, especially if you’re trying to have a serious conversation. So how do you deal with a one-upper?
3 strategies to deal with a one-upper:
1- The childish approach:
Dealing with a one-upper can be frustrating, especially if you’re trying to have an honest conversation about your experiences. Luckily, there are a few different approaches you can take to deal with a one-upper.
But one good and common strategy is that you could try to one-up them back. This can be fun if you’re both in on the game, but it can also escalate quickly and turn into an annoying competition.
This might also seem childish, but it can be effective in diffusing the situation. By responding with a story of your own that tops theirs, you take away their power and put yourself back in control of the conversation. Of course, this approach won’t work in every situation, but it’s worth a try if you’re feeling frustrated by a one-upper.
2- Ignore their behavior:
We’ve all met them before. You know, the person who always has to one-up you. No matter what you say, they have to add their two cents and make it look like they’re better than you. It can be annoying,
However, another option to deal with a one-upper could be to simply ignore their one-ups and move on with the conversation. This can be difficult, but it’s often the best way to defuse the situation with no drama.
You can ignore their behavior and just enjoy listening to their little stories and try to learn something from them. This way, you can let them have the spotlight and simply be happy for them. Either way, maturity is key. By not getting wrapped up in their need to one-up you, you’ll come out on top every time.
So remember that you don’t have to engage with them when they start trying to one-up you. Instead, listen to their story attentively and let them do it as many times as they want. In fact, you can learn to find it ridiculously amusing.
Chances are, you’ll end up making yourself a new friend that’s not just a one-upper but can also have positive traits to them; like being so talkative and anything but boring. So listen to their little stories until they run out of them and if they don’t, at least you won’t have wasted your energy getting worked up over nothing.
3- Make a fool out of the one-upper:
A final strategy is that you could make light of the situation and laugh it off. This can diffuse any tension and help to keep the conversation lighthearted. So just laugh it off and turn everything they say into a joke until they look like a fool.
For example, if you’re talking about how you got a new car, and the one-upper says they just got a new house, you can laugh and say, “Oh, yeah? I guess if I bought a new house you’ll show up with a new island to your name, then!”. You can start laughing and take it an extra mile by continuing the joke with something like: “And maybe then if I bought an island to match up, you’ll go buy a country!”
Turning things into jokes and outlining with sarcasm that they can’t one-up everything in life because there will be limits at some point will be a good remark to make. For instance, the previous example implies that they can only one-up someone so much before it becomes ridiculous and stupid. They clearly cannot buy a country because countries are not for sale, and everyone knows that.
It’s all about not taking yourself too seriously and making jokes that could annoy them a little, making everyone laugh, and highlighting the ridiculousness of their one-upping. So the next time you’re dealing with a one-upper, just remember to laugh it off and turn it all into a joke. You will end up stealing the light from them still with intelligence rather than one-upping or lies and stories that nobody can verify!
No matter how you choose to deal with a one-upper, remember that it’s important to stay calm and remain polite. Getting angry or defensive will only make the situation worse.
So take a deep breath and try to roll with it, eventually, they’ll get bored and move on. Remember that one-uppers are already ridiculing themselves. By always needing to one-up everyone, they’re saying that they’re not good enough as they are.
So when you come across a one-upper, just relax. They’re doing all the work for you. There’s no need to get worked up. Everyone is probably thinking the same as you and just how annoying that person is! One-uppers can be similar to jealous copycats in many ways, so if you’re suffering from the latter here’s an article on how to deal with jealous copycats.