It’s no secret that jealousy can be a major source of stress in a relationship. If your girlfriend is prone to fits of jealousy, it can feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, never quite sure what you might do or say to set her off.
It can be tough to try and reason with a jealous partner, as they often don’t want to hear that their fears are unfounded. In some cases, a jealous girlfriend may try to control your behavior in an attempt to quell her own insecurities. She may become overly possessive, or make demands about who you talk to and where you go. This can be exhausting and emotionally draining, leaving you feeling trapped and suffocated.
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to learn to deal with such a partner by following the steps written below. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel safe and happy. So don’t be afraid to take action to make positive changes, if your current situation isn’t meeting your needs.
Steps to follow to deal with a jealous girlfriend:
1. Reassure her that you love her:
One reason why your girlfriend may be acting jealous is that she feels insecure in the relationship at an emotional level. It could be that you used to say that you love her every day but as your relationship developed you stopped feeling the need to say it so often. Even though in your perspective the amount of times you tell your girlfriend that you love her doesn’t change how much you love her, she could be feeling otherwise.
Perhaps, your girlfriend needs constant reassurance regarding your feelings towards her and the fact that you don’t tell her that you love her often or maybe you don’t treat her with such care as you did when you were dating. Some women notice these things and overthink them.
Because of her insecurities, she will start wondering whether you have already moved on to someone else and she may even think that it’s just a matter of time until you leave her. If it gets to that, she herself will be acting out of character and sabotaging the relationship which will lead to more complicated issues. To avoid all this, simply reassure her that you love her more often and take actions that demonstrate that love from time to time.
2. Try to find out the origin of her jealousy:
Sometimes, it can be confusing when your girlfriend acts jealous because in your mind you didn’t do anything to make her jealous and your conscience is clear. If this is the case, there’s an urgent need to figure out what is causing her jealousy. To do this, you will have to talk with her in a way where you can both be honest without fearing that you will hurt the other one’s feelings.
It might help to tell your girlfriend that you want to have this conversation because you wish to continue the relationship and make it as healthy as possible. Tell her that you want to see her happy, and her jealousy poses an obstacle to that. But, be careful not to do this in a threatening tone as it will just give her ideas about how you’re trying to find excuses for a breakup and it will confirm her doubts about how loyal you are, in the first place.
You can also tell her that you never meant for her to feel jealous and insecure and ask her if there is anything in your behavior that she doesn’t like and how you could change it.
3. Help her gain more confidence in herself:
The reason why your girlfriend is acting jealous may not even have anything to do with you. She doesn’t feel confident in herself, and therefore, doesn’t understand what you see in her and don’t see any real reason why you won’t want to break things up one day.
Even though you are not the direct reason for her jealousy, you can help her get over it and gain more confidence in herself. You can repeat affirmations to motivate her until she starts believing those compliments without your help. You could have a talk with her explaining how much you value your relationship and why she is the perfect match for you.
Remember, the more details you give the better, this way she will be more inclined to believe you and see that you are being genuine.
4. Always be honest and transparent with her:
One thing that can make your girlfriend’s jealousy flare up is if she starts suspecting that you are keeping secrets from her or if she caught you in a lie. Because she is jealous, she will immediately jump to the worst conclusions. Maybe you have kept secrets from your girlfriend because you thought they were harmless and irrelevant but she will not see things that way.
To avoid any misunderstandings, you could start a new habit in the relationship where you are mindful of not omitting anything from each other. It doesn’t have to feel like you are justifying yourself all the time, but it’s more like you are trying to be part of each other’s lives so you can get to know each other better.
Your girlfriend will feel more relaxed and less jealous because she already knows that you tell her everything that ever happens.
5. Avoid being defensive during her jealous fits:
When your girlfriend acts jealous it can often lead to arguments because you naturally feel that you are being accused of something you didn’t do. And worst of all, it is frustrating to argue with her if she refuses to hear your defensive. Because of this, it would be better if you tried to push aside your defensive behavior during the argument and focus on calming her down first.
After you managed to calm her down it’s time to try to reason with her. While keeping a calm and relaxed tone, try to explain to her in detail why you would never cheat on her or even think about it.
Of course, your feelings must be taken into account, so after you talked about this tell her how hurtful it feels to be wrongly accused by her. She may act defensive at first as well but you will have to be persistent because it won’t do anything good to your relationship to raise your voice or say hurtful things during fights.