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How to break up with someone who won’t let you?

How to break up with someone who won’t let you?

Breaking up with someone can be frustrating, annoying, and even devastating, but sometimes it’s necessary. Unfortunately, there are some people who just won’t let you break up with them.

They might get angry, try to convince you to stay or even threaten you. In some cases, you might feel like you’re being forced to stay in the relationship. If this is happening to you, then we recommend you follow the steps listed in this article to end things for good!

Remember, you have a right to end any relationship that isn’t making you happy, no matter how much someone else might try to convince you otherwise.

Steps to follow when someone won’t let you break up with them:

1. Ask for some space so you can be alone:

When your partner refuses to accept your decision to break things up, you need to convey the idea that you don’t need anyone to heal this relationship and you’re not interested in fixing it either. Tell them that you need time, not to heal from your anger and hurt so you can go back to the relationship, but to move on without any traumas. 

You will need time to be alone, just with your thoughts so you can be sure of your decision as well. When you are not around your partner, it will be easy to start missing them, even if your relationship wasn’t on the best terms. You created a habit of having that person around you, so, normally, you miss their presence. 

It can be useful to tell your partner that that’s exactly why you need to move out alone because you need to put things into perspective and be sure that you won’t be missing anything from the relationship. This also implies that you might realize that you miss your partner more and want to patch things up with them, but obviously, this is just a first step to guaranteeing they let you go and have space.

Incentivize them to do the same, and explore a world without you in it. Try to make them see that it’s possible to find happiness even without each other.

2. Tell them that you aren’t willing to give them a second chance:

When a person finds it hard to accept a permanent break-up, they usually try to convince you that this is just a break, and when you feel better about yourself you will be willing to get back together. If you see that this is what’s happening, make it clear that you don’t wish to give them a second chance, and explain to them why. It will avoid having them led on.

You might not be willing to give them a second chance because it’s not the first time that your relationship has been in a rut and you realized that things always become bad again. Or maybe you saw that the reasons for your break-up are too strong for you not to want to be in that relationship anymore. Either way, be honest with them, so they can understand faster that the relationship is over for good. 

They might try to tell you that they will never make you feel hurt or angry again, but if this is a “deja vu” scene and that already happened in the past, make it clear that you don’t want them to try anymore. This can be hurtful to hear, but if you are completely honest, they will understand it much sooner.

3. Be clear about what is making you stick with this decision:

This is the moment that you need to be completely honest, and that includes sharing your feelings as well. Not every relationship ends because the love ends, so if you still feel something for your partner don’t be afraid to tell them.

This won’t give them hope, because despite still liking them, you are determined to end the relationship. It helps them see that they aren’t the problem. The problem could be how you both behaved during the relationship. So it will make them see that they’re not your enemy.

Tell them that it’s not something they could ever change because the problem comes from the way you were with one another. You should also ask them what they felt was wrong in the relationship and make them see that there is a possibility to explore a healthier connection with someone else. 

4. Tell them and show them that you are moving on:

Until you don’t show your ex that you have moved on with your life, they will still have hope to get back together. So, you should cut all contact in the meantime. It’s great if you decided to remain friends, but that’s not always possible in the beginning when wounds are still fresh. 

Don’t interact with their posts on social media, and even refrain from checking up on what they have been doing, for your own sake. If they text you or tag you in something, don’t reply even if you think that makes you look rude.

They need to understand that you don’t need them in your life anymore and you can live perfectly well without them.

5. Ask for your mutual friends’ help:

If nothing else works, don’t be afraid to involve third parties, as long as they are the right people. If you share mutual friends, you can talk to them and expose the situation.

Since they know you both they can easily go talk to your ex and make them see from another perspective that the relationship is permanently over. 

Your friends have no reason to lie to your ex, and they will see this. It will be easier for them to see that you were being serious about your decision if they hear it from your mutual friends. As a bonus, your friends can offer emotional support while you distance yourself from your ex.

In the end, you can think about checking this article too on 4 ways to tell someone that you’re done trying.

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