If you have been feeling not good enough for him or her during a relationship, or you’ve been wondering how to be enough for someone in general; then you’re at the right place.
There are so many different things that someone you’re dating could want from you, they might want to be more than just partners. They might want your help in some way or may want to know that they can rely on you in any situation in life and so on.
The best way to know what someone wants is to ask them. That’s why it is important that you ask at the start of every romantic relationship about the expectations and goals of the person you’re with. This way you can ensure that you’re meeting all their needs and expectations of you, that you’re both on the same page, and that you’re more than enough for them.
You can also learn to look at their behavior over time and try to work out what it is that they need from you but this can take a lot of time and effort. Either way, nobody deserves to feel like they’re lacking something or not good enough, that’s why if you can only meet the requirements cited below then you would’ve done your part.
This way, you can be sure that no matter what happens or where the relationship goes from there, then it is not your fault and you’re not the one to blame.
1) 5 Steps to be more than enough in a relationship:
We often find ourselves asking the question, “How do I be enough for someone?” It sounds like a simple question, but it’s not. In fact, this is one of the most complicated questions we can ask ourselves. And, sometimes it tells more about the person we’re with than it says about us.
That’s why it is important to understand that if your partner cheats, decides to confide in another person, doesn’t keep your couple’s secrets, or betrays you in some way, it is not your fault. It is not because you were not good enough or any other shortcoming on your part.
Now that we got that out of the way, if you still want to ensure that you’re a good partner, a great listener, a better lover, and simple “enough” for your other half, then here are 3 simple steps:
1- Ask yourself if they’re good enough for you:
We often get caught up asking ourselves “Does he like me?”, “What does she think about me?”, “Am I good enough?”. However, in the end, our life journey is about us. We wake up every morning in our body and in our head and in our life. In other words, we are each the main character in our own lives and we should each be the person that matters the most to us.
So your thoughts, and opinions should come first and matter more than others. When you meet someone new or start dating someone, try to practice getting in the habit of asking yourself what you think of them. Focus on your impressions of them and what you like about them or don’t, instead of worrying about what goes through their mind.
As long as you’re not a mind-reader, you will never truly be able to know what others think anyway. People pretend, lie and hide things, and that’s okay it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes they do it just to protect others’ feelings and make them feel like they’re good enough and important enough.
In the end, the only head that you hold the key for and can without fail always know what goes through it is yours! So take advantage of that and give your inner voice a mic to find out more about who you truly are, what you like or don’t.
2- Be yourself:
We often think that we need to be someone else in order to be enough for someone. We might want to change our looks, appearance, and personality in order to become what we think they’d want us to be. But when we do this, we are not being true to ourselves and it can lead us to confusion or being lost with no identity.
In the end, it is better to accept who you are, love yourself for it, and let it shine through. It is okay if you have flaws or imperfections because there will always be someone out there that will find them attractive and love them just like they are. Or, if not, they’d find them acceptable enough that they won’t stop them from loving you for who you naturally and effortlessly are!
It is important to know that you are worthy of someone’s time and attention, just the way you are. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. And, you need to be enough for yourself before you can be enough for anyone else.
3- Be your partner’s best friend:
This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s actually not that easy. It takes a lot of work and communication to become best friends with your partner. You need to know what they like, what jokes will make them crack up, what they dislike, and what makes them happy or sad.
You need to be able to talk about anything with them, whether that’s the weather or politics. You need to know their goals in life and their deepest fears. And you need to be there for them when they’re going through tough times.
It is not just being your partner’s best friend but also being their biggest supporter. This means supporting them in every decision they make and helping out when you can, without making judgments.
4- Promote communication:
It is important to be able to communicate with your partner and to know when something is wrong. If you can’t express yourself or if you are having trouble understanding what your partner is trying to say, it can lead to a lot of problems in the relationship.
It’s important for both partners to be enough for each other. It’s not about who does what and who has what, but about how you feel in the relationship and how you want it to grow. And that can only be communicated to one another through good communication so the two of you can meet halfway.
Nothing should stop you from communicating clearly with your partner. Not even the fear of sounding weak or vulnerable. In fact, it is important to be vulnerable with your partner. It is a way to show them how much you care about them and that you are not afraid of being vulnerable. If you feel like you are always putting on a front for them, it will make them feel lonely and isolated.
5- Be open-minded and fun:
In a relationship, there is always the need to be enough for your partner. It is not just about being physically present but also emotionally available and attentive. The key to being enough for your partner is sometimes as simple as being open-minded. This way they can feel safe enough with you to tell you their every thought.
To be able to fulfill your partner’s needs, you need to be aware of what these needs are. And, they can only genuinely tell you without fear, if you’re open-minded enough, don’t judge and accept whatever it is they suggest with an open mind. Communication should be two-way so that both people in a relationship can share their feelings, thoughts, desires, needs, expectations, and even whims without any fear of reprisal.
2) How to be enough for yourself:
In the end, none of this matters if you’re not enough for yourself. If you rely on your partner’s approval and validation to even be comfortable in your skin, then there’s a problem.
Make sure you are enough for yourself first: that you can laugh at your own jokes, that you’re proud of your identity, that you love your body, and that you’re at peace with where you’re at in life. This way nothing and nobody will be able to make you self-doubt or question yourself.
Being enough means that you are whole and complete on your own and don’t need the help of anyone else, to make you feel better about who you are. It also means that you have a healthy sense of self-esteem and love for yourself so that you can take care of your needs without relying on other people’s opinions.
It can only be beneficial that you focus on your wellbeing, try to achieve permanent peace of mind, practice mindfulness, and most importantly focus on starting every day on the right foot. One day at a time, and until you reach a high enough level of self-acceptance, self-love, and self-appreciation that will allow you to never wonder again about whether or not you’re good enough for someone.