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How to ask someone to be your roommate?

How to ask someone to be your roommate?

It may seem dated, but most colleges and universities have student groups on Facebook, and many other students are looking for roommates. Your school might even have its own virtual mixer or online group to make roommate connections. If you can’t find it, think about contacting your university or college and asking if they have something similar.

However, if you already found someone who seems like they can make an amazing roommate and make your year at university easy and fun; then why not ask them directly? Why not make the move and see if they would be interested in living in the same space as you?

In today’s article, we will help you do just that and guide you to ask someone you see fit to be your roommate! By following the steps below you’ll be sure to avoid conflict and to be in your happy place with the person of your choice for the entire academic year.

5 steps to ask someone to be your roommate:

1. You must tell them your conditions:

Even though we don’t realize it, as individuals, we all have different daily routines around the house. Many of us have different meal schedules, different sleep times, and even different ways of cleaning and organizing the house. This doesn’t mean that some of the ways are wrong, while others are right. It simply means that not everyone will do things in the same exact way and roommates should be understanding of this and open-minded about it.

So, before approaching the person you would like to be your roommate, think of the things you can negotiate in the house. This means that you should have a list of things that are negotiable and others that are not or that are dealbreakers for one of you.

So the things you care the most about and about which you are not willing to compromise are going to be your conditions. Make sure your roommate agrees to them and make sure you give them the right to speak their own thoughts and list their conditions too. This way you will see if the two of you can even get along enough to be able to endure living with one another even when things get tough.

2. Think about how compatible you are with your potential roommate:

The place you live is supposed to feel like home. Essentially, it has to be a place where you are eager to go at the end of the day, and where you can fully relax, and be yourself without any judgment. Because of this, your house must remain conflict-free.

No one likes to arrive home or be at home relaxing during the weekend and have to deal with arguments or any other kind of conflict. So, before asking someone to be your roommate, think about the relationship you have.

Once you conclude that arguing with that person would be a rare occasion, you can carry on with asking them to be your roommate. Knowing that you will get along perfectly well will dissipate their doubts too, so don’t hesitate to take your time explaining in detail why you think you will get along, at least ninety percent of the time. 

3. Pick the right moment to bring this up:

Asking someone to be your roommate doesn’t have the same impact as asking someone for lunch. The person you asked won’t be able to give you right away their answer. Depending on the relationship you have with that person they may take more or less time taking a decision.

That’s why, before asking someone to be your roommate, you have to think about what is the best time to ask the question. You will also have to consider if you are very close or not with that person since a closer relationship could make things easier.

For example, if the person you want to ask to be your roommate has been looking for a new place to stay, that is a good excuse to ask. But if you are close friends or have known each other for a while at least, you will have many more good opportunities to ask them to be your roommate since you can assume they would like that idea too.

The point here is to not rush things as it will be very rude and awkward for you to take your offer off the table, in case you change your mind. If you decide you’re better off living alone rather than sharing with anyone then you may find it hard to break the news and tell someone that your offer of living together no longer stands.

4. Give them time to make a decision:

One thing that comes hand-in-hand with asking someone to be your roommate is the pressure the other person feels to give you an answer right away. So, one thing you need to do is tell them that you are not expecting an answer straight away and they can take as long as they need to think things over.

They might have their doubts not because of the idea of living with you but because of practical arrangements. Perhaps they don’t have the means of transportation so your shared house would have to be located near an underground station if it’s in London for instance.

Or maybe they have a lot of things they can’t part with and you must have plenty of storage space available. Because of this, you can make yourself available to answer any questions they might have.

5. Tell them why you would be a great choice of a roommate:

The person you will ask to be your roommate may not have anything they dislike about you, but that could change once you start sharing a house since your relationship will inevitably adapt to the new conditions. Even if they are aware of that and ask you all the questions they can think of, there may still be things they didn’t consider but that you could clarify.

One way to tell your roommate that you are a great person to live with is to think of the things about you that make you easy-going, kind, and a good person and list them. Consider if you possess any qualities like that or if the ones you have are at least similar to what someone would want in a roommate and then present them to the person you are going to ask.

This will help them understand exactly what kind of person you are and what it would be like to live with you. And if they have new questions after hearing you, try to answer them in the most honest way possible. Be careful that your potential roommate also possesses the right qualities and character as it can become hard to live with an annoying or inconsiderate roommate.

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