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How to ask a guy what his intentions are?

How to ask a guy what his intentions are?

If you’ve been in the dating scene, you know how frustrating it is to not know where you stand with a guy. If you’re looking for a committed relationship, the last thing you want to be is led on. 

No matter how much you like him or how much fun he is, if he doesn’t have good intentions, you need to walk away. Otherwise, you risk falling in love with someone who can’t commit. 

How to get his real intentions out of him?

Now, one of the most difficult things about determining a guy’s intentions is doing so in a way that’s not obvious. You don’t want to back him into a corner or cause the wrong impression, you simply want some clarity and that’s more than fair. 

That’s why it’s so important that you’re careful about how you ask a guy what his intentions are. Luckily, there are sneaky ways to get that information out of him and he won’t even realize it. The trick is in asking the right questions to get an idea of where they stand. 

To help you with that, here are 6 questions you can ask to see what his intentions are and determine if the relationship is worth pursuing. 

6 Questions to ask a guy about his intentions indirectly:

1- How do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years from now?

Most people have a basic idea of what they’d like their life to be like in 5 to 10 years. For most people, marriage or a stable relationship is on the table. But, for others, it isn’t and that’s okay just as long as they don’t waste your time of course when you have these aspirations.

Asking this question will help you determine if a committed relationship is something he wants. If it isn’t, you can ask why not and see where they stand.

2- Have you ever thought about having children?

If being a mother is something you truly want for your future, it’s important to determine if the person you’re interested in has that interest as well.

An alternative question would be “Do you like children?” something you can casually ask if you come across a cute kid in real life or online. 

3- How do you feel about commitment?

People have many different views on commitment, so it’s important to know where this guy stands. Asking this question is a good conversation starter.

Most people will be honest and say whether they believe in monogamy or not. They will be open about what commitment means to them and what they’re looking for in a partner. 

4- When do you think someone is ready for marriage?

This is not the most subtle question, but it all depends on delivery. For example, you can bring up a couple who got married too soon or too late and start a conversation that way.

His answer will reveal a lot about his views on marriage and commitment. It will also tell you a lot about his level of maturity. 

5- What’s your most important priority?

If the guy you’re seeing doesn’t include relationships in his list of priorities, it means they’re not ready for a long-term or committed relationship.

They’re just having fun for now and while things could change, it’s important to know where they stand right now. When you ask this question, you should also ask why they prioritize the things they do. You should understand why these things matter to him. 

6- What are you looking for in a relationship?

This is another less subtle question, but it’s a valid question to ask when you’re starting to date someone.

If he’s immediately spooked by the question, that tells you he’s not interested in a relationship and he’s also not very mature. If he answers openly and honestly, you’ll know where he stands so you can decide if you want to keep getting to know him. 


These are only a few of the sneaky questions you can make to determine a guy’s intentions. Not to mention, each of these questions will reveal a lot about his values and the kind of person he is. If you want to get to know him more and learn more about his life philosophy and the type of person he is then check this list of questions out too.

Some men are very difficult to read, so your understanding will depend on how forthcoming he is. Men who have nothing to hide will be honest about how they feel about commitment and the kind of relationship they’re looking for. In fact, any respectable guy will tell you exactly what he expects. 

If he just wants to be casual, he will say it. If he’s more of a “go with the flow” kind of guy, he will tell you. If he’s not playing around and he’s looking for something real, he will let you know too. in any case, having conversations about these things shouldn’t be awkward unless he’s hiding his true intentions. Start a nice chat, casually ask these things, and keep an open mind to see where that goes. 

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