If you’re wondering whether your married boss likes you romantically, you might be seeing things that aren’t there. It can be tricky to tell whether someone is attracted to you, or whether they’re just being friendly.
If your boss goes out of their way to spend time with you, or if they make compliments that are beyond casual workplace conversation, it might be a sign that they’re interested in something more than just a professional relationship. But, that could simply be a close friendship?
What we’re saying is that you shouldn’t jump to conclusions and assume that any married man is after you, especially not your boss. However, if your boss keeps dropping what looks like hints to you and you’re pretty sure a blatant move or confession is heading your way soon, then here’s how to act when that happens.
7 Things to do if your married boss turns out to like you romantically:
1- Remember why you don’t want to get involved with a married man:
It’s important to remember that married people are off-limits, so even if your boss does have romantic feelings for you, acting on them would be inappropriate. If you’re unsure about your boss’s intentions, it’s best to err on the side of caution and assume that they’re simply trying to be a good leader.
Even if your boss came at you drop on their knees and confessed their love for you, you cannot simply ignore the ring on their fingers. Married men that have a bad reputation or that are cheaters can be quite manipulative; so keep in mind that anything he can tell you about how his marriage is falling apart is a lie. Unless he’s already divorced and can prove it; a married man is a married man that could be sharing a bed with a wife and more!
So don’t believe someone who’s married and claims to be separated. Regardless of how much you want to believe that you had a special effect on this type of person, chances are they’re just a serial cheater and have used many other people before you. In the end, they always went back and will continue to go back to their main partners after having used others.
2- Reject him and tell him that what he’s doing can be called coercion:
If your married boss tells you he likes you romantically, it’s important to handle the situation carefully. Rejecting him outright could lead to conflict, getting fired for something silly, or damage your professional career in some way.
On the other hand, you don’t want to give him the impression that you’re interested in a romantic relationship, especially if he’s married. The best course of action is to calmly explain that his advances are unwelcome and that any further attempts to pursue a romantic relationship will be considered coercion.
It’s also important to let him know that coercion is a punishable offense in most countries. From here, consider that you have another month or two before things get more heated, so it will be best to start looking for a job if you really value your peace of mind and staying away from drama. By taking a firm but respectful approach, you can defuse the situation and protect your professional reputation.
3- Realize that there’s a lot of uncertainty in this type of relationship:
In today’s workplace, it’s not uncommon for bosses and employees to develop close relationships. After all, you see each other every day and often work closely together on projects. So it’s not surprising that your married boss might start to feel attracted to you. It happened before and when the man is married; it almost always ended in heartbreak for the “side chick”.
You may be shocked to read such a term but that’s exactly what you’ll be when you get involved in such a relationship. You will not be his new wife any time soon and even if you do; you’ll probably still worry a lot about his ex-wife’s power over him and how much his children would get along with you. In other words even in the best scenario, you can imagine, you will still end up living a daily nightmare rather than a fairytale.
And before we talk about stepchildren and second marriages problems, let us talk about the relationships or affairs that men develop at work. More often than not, these just end up being a stain or a rough patch in their marriages.
So what tells you, you’ll ever get to be with this man without having to share him with anyone at all? All you could be doing is wasting your beauty and youth on someone unavailable for years and who will end up turning ugly and threatening you in the end. When he’s grey and tired of the fun adventure he had with you, you may get the chance to see his true colors when he threatens your life to leave him and his family alone.
4- Don’t get caught up in wishful thinking:
Before we blame you for even considering such a relationship, let us say that we fully understand how your boss may look charming. He’s probably more financially stable than you’ll ever be and looks like a very seductive and responsible man, especially if he’s married. It almost adds a layer of masculinity to his already perfect facade.
But, before you get caught up in a fairytale romance, it’s important to remember that your boss is off-limits. Not only is he married, but he’s also your superior at work. If you pursue a relationship with him, it could lead to all sorts of complications, both professionally and personally.
So unless you’re prepared to deal with the repercussions fully, be known as a “home-wrecker” and become the villain; it’s best to keep your distance. Society always blames the woman for “seducing” such a man, unfortunately. So regardless of how much he pursues you understand that you’ll be the one to blame by everyone in the end when he’d probably give up on you too.
That said, there’s no denying that some men are just naturally charming; especially when they’re rich and powerful. So if your boss starts making advances, don’t be surprised if you find yourself strangely drawn to him too. It’s not your fault. What will be your fault is to give in and expect something good to come out of it all.
5- Threaten him that you’ll tell his wife if he doesn’t stop:
In the end, if this man doesn’t back off and becomes civil, professional, and respectful again after you reject him you can warn him that you’ll have to tell his wife if he continues. No need to give him a reason to fire you on the spot or even get rid of you in some more sinister way, just make it clear that if he doesn’t stop right there then you’ll have to let his wife know.
This way you’ll be able to witness firsthand and see with your own eyes how much he will fear having his wife learn about it. This should tell you more than enough about how much he cares about his marriage and main partner. It will also demonstrate to you what you were going to get yourself into in advance.
Like we said though, make sure you tell him that it will all be forgotten just as long as he doesn’t attempt something new again. Tell him you will only go and alert his wife to the situation if he tried something new on you.
This way, you will be sure that he doesn’t decide to do something to you before you get the chance to tell his wife and he’ll stop once and for all with his advances. But even then, we recommend you start looking for a new job if possible.
6- Limit physical contact:
If your boss tells you that he likes you romantically, it is important to limit physical contact. You don’t want to give him the wrong idea or lead him on in any way.
It is best, to be honest with your boss and let him know that you are not interested in a romantic relationship. If he persists, you may need to talk to HR about the situation or resort to the step before this one if he’s the highest authority at work.
However, as long as you are clear with your boss about your feelings, there is no reason why you can’t continue to have a good working relationship.
7- Be assertive and professional:
If your boss tells you that he likes you romantically, it’s important to also be assertive and professional in your response. You don’t want to leave any room for close friendship or further advances, so it’s best to be clear and direct in your communication.
Thank your boss for his candidness, but let him know that you’re not interested in anything beyond a professional relationship. You might also want to reiterate the importance of maintaining a respectful and appropriate workplace environment. By being firm and polite, you can diffuse the situation and hopefully maintain a good working relationship with your boss.
Additionally, you may want to limit your interactions with your boss outside of work to avoid any potential awkwardness or tension. While it’s important to remain cordial, you should leave no room for close friendship or any type of unprofessional relationship in this case. By setting boundaries and maintaining a professional demeanor, you can help ensure that your workplace remains a comfortable and productive environment for everyone.