Love is a complicated emotion that can be difficult to understand, and even more difficult to put into words. It is easy to say that you love someone, but what does it really mean? People use the word love in many different ways, and it can be hard to know when someone is only in love with the idea of you.
Some people will say they are in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, but not because they truly feel a deep emotional connection with them.
For example, some people might think they are in love because they have an intense sexual attraction to their partner; because their partner makes them feel important or special; or because their partner is good at listening and being supportive.
In today’s article, we discuss a few instances in which the people involved in a relationship may just be in love with the idea of a person and not with their partner for real.
How can you only be in love with the idea of someone?
1. You desperately needed whatever it is that they’re provided you with:
There is no guarantee that the people involved in any relationship are true to each other or really in love. That’s because they may happen to be in a phase of their life, where they need a specific thing the most and their partner happens to be providing it.
Once they go through that phase and no longer need whatever it is that the other partner was giving them, they may feel inclined to leave. they may find themselves stuck and with no reason to be in the relationship. This happens on a daily basis to thousands of people around the world.
A day comes when one of the partners realizes that they were only in love with the idea of having someone who could help tangibly during a phase of their life. They loved having someone that provided them exactly with whatever it is they needed during that phase, and now that they don’t need them for it anymore, they realize that they don’t need the relationship.
2. You just want to be in a relationship and not single:
In this case, you’re in love with the idea of “being with someone” rather than “the idea of someone”, if it makes sense.
If you or a person you know are just currently in a relationship to avoid being lonely and single, then you may just be in love with the idea of being with someone and probably anyone good enough to some extent to make the cut.
So the bad news is that your partner may not be your type or cup of tea but you didn’t care or focus much on details when you first met, because you were focused on not wanting to be single. In this case, you could end up having a much more sinister fate just because you dated for the only purpose of being with “someone”, just not to be single.
3. You’re not willing to do much to maintain your current relationship:
This idea of love is not new. It has always been around and will continue to be. However, the way we think about it has changed.
In the past, people were more likely to think of love as something that was worth sacrificing for. Nowadays, people are more likely to think of love as a little luxury that they want in their life but are not willing to do much for it.
If at the first hurdle in life, you find yourself reluctant to fight for your partner or relationship, then it is a red flag. If you truly don’t care to know much about why your partner cheated if they did, and you just don’t care enough about anything about them, chances are you’re again just in love with the idea of being in a relationship.
A normal reaction to a partner that cheated or a relationship that is not working is to feel sad, devastated, and heartbroken if you’re feeling anything else then you should start letting your guard down and get more invested in your future relationships to get a chance at tasting real love.
4. If your partner is a public figure, celebrity, or a famous athlete:
If your partner is a celebrity, famous for any reason, an athlete, or just extremely rich then you have to ask yourself if you love them, their character, their physique, their personality, or the idea of them. Ask yourself if you just love all the little privileges that come with being their partner and how you get to experience a life that is anything but boring by their side, or if you would’ve loved them in any parallel universe where they’re a nobody or in a different scenario of life.
Unfortunately with wealth, fame and other similar privileges of life comes the inevitable worry about the true feelings and intentions of our loved ones and whether they would’ve cared the same if we had less or were less fortunate. This is a well-known “consequence” that comes with doing well or above average in life, as it is not easy to decipher the true thoughts of anyone in this context.
The partner themselves may never admit it but they may be confused internally about whether they truly love their partner or they just love the idea of being with someone like that and how different, comfortable, and undeniably amazing it makes their life.
The bottom line:
Many people find themselves in love with the idea of someone, but they are not actually in love with that person. They are only in love with the idea of “not being single” or the idea of that person and what they represent. There are many reasons for this and only a few are mentioned above.
However, the true test of life that will determine for real if the love is true or not is for the couple to last, through all ups and downs over years and decades. A couple that remains strong over time and only focused on itself, defying time and other life problems, distractions and all is a couple that is undeniably compatible.