After a break-up, sometimes, it feels like you’re never going to feel better and like you made the biggest mistake of your life by separating. But eventually, you will move on and start healing at some point. And your ex will too.
The thing is, it’s hard to see past the pain when you’re in the midst of it. But trust us, he’s hurting too. He may not show it or tell you how he feels, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t grieving the loss of what you had together.
So, if you want to make sure he’s hurting and that the break-up affected him as much as it affected you or more; then here are a few signs to look out for:
Signs he’s hurting after the break-up:
1. He keeps talking to you:
If your ex is still hurting, it probably means that he is not able to cope with your separation. He misses being in a relationship with you, and since he can’t, he will do the closest thing, which is to keep in touch. He will start sending you regular texts and even call you out of the blue.
He knows that, since you’ve broken up, you don’t have any common issues to talk about, so he will try to make some excuses up. He will call you or text you about something he saw on his way to work that reminded him of you, or even asks how your friends and family are doing. He can even pretend to care about a specific shirt he forgot at your place or something of his and use it as an excuse to see you.
If you feel comfortable talking with him, that’s great, but be mindful that in doing so you might be raising his hopes of getting back together.
2. He told you that he misses you:
When a relationship is over, it’s hard to admit that we are struggling to move on. For many people, the hardest thing is the absence of that person who was the closest to them. Men are no different. He may not tell you directly that he misses you, so even if he hints at it, make no mistake in recognizing what he means.
There isn’t an immediate cure for what he must be feeling, so remember that you mustn’t lead him on. The only thing that will make him stop missing you is having enough time to move on, and adapt to his new life without you in it.
3. He has blocked you from all social media accounts:
If you have gone through break-ups where you both decided to remain friends or have witnessed two people parting on those terms, you shouldn’t ignore if your ex blocked you on all his social media accounts.
At first, you may think that that means that he doesn’t want to hear about you anymore and is quickly moving on. However, the truth resides in a weird contradiction. He decided to block you on all social media accounts most probably because he wants to show you that he doesn’t care. So in this case, understand that he must care a lot and be very hurt.
He is trying to grab your attention and make you go talk to him about anything at all, even if it’s just to ask why he blocked you. This could come across as a bit childish, so if you think that it would be best for him to move on, don’t bother him. He will see that his plan didn’t work and may even unblock you at some point.
4. He tries to make you jealous:
If you see that your ex is going out with new people and he is moving on very quickly, think again. This is another behavior of a hurt ex that can be quite common.
One easy way to check if he is doing this purposefully to make you jealous is if each time he goes out, he is with a different girl. This means that he isn’t looking for anything serious because he is not ready to commit to a new relationship.
He is still hung up on you and trying to desperately make you see what you are missing out on by not being with him anymore. If you don’t tease him by sending texts asking how his dates are going he will eventually stop trying to make you jealous. You can check this article later for signs that your ex is rubbing their new relationship in your face.
5. He vents with your friends:
Many times, when people are hurting after a break-up, they find ways for that message to reach their ex indirectly. They think that, if it comes from another person, it won’t be regarded as an attempt to grab your attention.
So, if you have friends in common, and one of them comes to you and tells you that your ex is not ok and is still hurting, they are probably just delivering a message. Your ex may also hope that you send a message back through your mutual friends, so be careful with what you say to them.
You don’t want to seem ungrateful, or rude, but you will have to stay firm and not give him the impression that you are open to the possibility of going back together.
Should your ex, vent with your friends about the things that went wrong in the relationship, defend yourself only if it’s necessary. You are trying to move on as well, so dwelling on the past with third parties won’t do you any good.
6. He will try to get back together:
If none of the things above have worked to catch your attention and see how much he is hurting, he may resort to telling you that he wants to go back together.
On one hand, it’s a good thing that he decides to be this upfront with you. On the other hand, you will have to have a serious conversation with him to clear things out once and for all.
Acknowledge the fact that he is hurting, but try to tell him that you being back together won’t solve the issues you had before. Maybe what you need is to stop all communication until you both feel you moved on. You can check this article out on signs you’re healing from a break-up to see how well you’re doing too.