It’s not uncommon for a guy to feel the need to test a woman before committing to a relationship. After all, no one wants to get played or end up with someone who’s not worth their time and effort and especially not someone who got hurt or played before.
So how can you tell if a guarded man is testing you or if he’s just a bit slow because he’s simply not that interested? Here are a few key things to look out for:
This is how a guarded man tests you:
1- He asks many questions about your past:
Does he make any effort to get to know you? Does he ask you questions about your life, your interests, and your thoughts on various topics? If he’s truly interested, he’ll want to know everything about you.
And even though your past doesn’t define you, a guarded man will have many questions to ask about your past. That’s simply because that’s his only reference or indicator of how you’ll act in the future because that’s how you’ve acted in specific life situations before. He might want to know details about your past relationships.
And, he might even ask weird and indirect questions to gauge how “hard to get” you are or have been with your previous partners before you got with them. That’s because some men think of this as a good sign of a woman that is not easily swept off her feet or impressed and who will therefore find it hard to cheat.
2- He wants to see how high your standards are:
A guarded man will test you before he commits to you. He wants to make sure that he can trust you, and that falling in love with every other guy you set your eyes on is not a quality of yours.
He’ll ask you questions about your past relationships as mentioned before, and he’ll want to know what you’re looking for in a partner. He will also want to know what your standards or criteria are, and he will hope that it’s not so easy to get you impressed.
He will want to feel like it’s an achievement of his own if you took interest in him and not like any other random guy can get your attention if he’s willing to give you the time of a day. He’s not trying to be rude or judgemental; he’s just trying to see how serious you are about finding your true soulmate.
He wants to see how gullible you can be and if you are ready to believe that any first person that enters your life is the one. This can be a trait that will scare him away, as he wants you would prefer that you’re not easily fooled or played by anyone.
3- He will want to see that you’re a compassionate and kind soul:
A guarded man is not going to commit to you until he has tested how kind or mean you are as a person in general and how trustworthy that makes you. He wants to see how compassionate and kind you are. He also wants to see how much he can trust you.
He will want to know if you are someone who is going to be there for him when he needs you. So he might put you in real-life situations that will determine if you’re generally a good person or if you’re selfish and unethical. If he feels like he can trust you, he will be more likely to let his guard down and commit to you.
So, if you want to win the heart of a guarded man, be patient and be the kind of person he can count on. We’re pretty sure that you can achieve that just by being yourself anyway.
4- He will want to understand your definition of cheating:
A guarded man will test you to see what qualifies and what doesn’t as cheating for you; before he can commit or even date you. He will take interest in your values, your definition of cheating, and what you consider to be an emotional affair.
He wants to know how much he can trust you. He’s looking for consistency in what you say and do. If he doesn’t find it, he’ll move on. The best way to respond to this is, to be honest with him. Be upfront about your values and what you expect from a relationship.
Make sure you tell him what your boundaries are when it comes to cheating so that you find out early on whether the two of you are on the same page or not. Don’t try to change yourself to fit his expectations, as this will only lead to a catastrophe. Be yourself, and let him decide if he wants to commit to you or not.
You have to understand that different people define cheating in different ways so make sure you two have the same definition of it before you get more serious.
5- He will want to see how much you value marital life or a long-term partner:
A guarded man might ask you how much you value marital life or a long-term partner as a way of testing how much you’d care about him if he got committed to you. Do you leave at the smallest convenience? Do you leave if he lost his ability to move, his status, or whatever criteria he has that made you select him in the first place?
If you give up easily, he’s likely to move on to someone who seems more serious about their serious relationships and does their absolute most for their partner. Obviously, he should be ready to put his all into it too.
So, if you’re willing to fight for the relationship, he might see that as a sign that you’re worth committing to. Either way, it’s important, to be honest about the type of person you are and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Otherwise, you could end up in a situation that isn’t right for either of you.
6- He will want to know how close you are to your family:
A guarded man might also want to know how close you are to your family and how they feel about you. If you’re not close to your family, he may wonder why and try to find out more about your relationship with them.
This is just one way a guarded man might test you to see if you have any family values or any people you care about at all. He might worry about how cold or unreliable you are to your own kin if you’re not close to your family and have no justification for it.
He might be quick to jump to conclusions and think that if you’re bad to your own relatives; then how can you be good to a complete stranger or to him a few months or years down the line?
So, if you meet a guy who seems guarded, don’t be afraid to ask him questions too to push him to open up and to give you an idea about his thinking process. It’s the best way to get to know him and find out if he’s worth your time too.
If you pass his tests, a guarded man will be more likely to open up to you and let himself fall in love. So don’t take it personally if he seems a little distant at first; he’s just trying to protect himself from getting hurt.
However, if a man keeps testing you and never shows any signs of wanting to commit then you might be wasting your time. In that case, the right thing to do is often to simply walk away after you’re done proving yourself in so many different ways and he doesn’t want to commit.