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6 reasons your husband gets angry over small things

6 reasons your husband gets angry over small things

Husbands getting angry over small things is frustrating, but it’s important to remember that it’s not personal. Wives are usually the ones who are closest to their husbands and see them at their best and worst.

They know how much pressure their husbands are under and how much they’re capable of handling. When a husband starts to get angry over small things, it’s usually because he’s feeling overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to express himself.

In this case, one of the most important things to do to keep your relationship strong and healthy is to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it’s not personal. Or, maybe it’s for one of the reasons listed below so read on.

6 possible explanations for why your husband gets angry over small things:

1. He may be going through a lot of stress:

If your husband doesn’t normally lose his cool over small things, but you are now observing a change in that, consider asking him or finding out if he’s been feeling stressed lately. There are different ways in which people unconsciously express feeling stressed, but the most common one is getting angry over small things. 

You could try to ask him if things aren’t going well at work, or if something bad happened to a friend or family member of his. Sometimes, people get so involved in their current problems, that they forget that they need to share the load with their partners and get irrationally angry instead.

This way, when you help him find the cause of his stress, he can learn to better deal with it and express it more healthily.

2. He feels insecure about something:

Don’t panic just yet. Just because your husband might be feeling insecure, it doesn’t mean that you are the problem. When people are insecure about something regarding themselves, like their appearance, their qualifications, or their income, for instance, they feel frustrated because they want to change those things for the better but it’s not so easy.

Some will argue that some of these things can even be impossible to change. This will then cause a lot of frustration until your partner learns to accept themselves for who they are.

Don’t expect your husband to address his insecurities with you, because maybe, in his mind, that will only make him feel more insecure or weaker. You can make sure that he feels loved no matter how many obstacles he has in front of him. It will make him feel calmer and gain more confidence to see that you’re supportive even if he thinks he’s not good enough.

3. He is unhappy:

A marriage is made of two people, but a healthy marriage is made of two happy people. Having said this, it’s not enough for people to just want to be happy. If you feel happy in your marriage, for one, then it’s probably because your husband has been bending over backward and trying his best to meet all your needs. Now ask yourself if he’s not happy whether or not you’re doing your role as a spouse to your best ability too.

If your husband is unhappy, he may not be aware of the reason for it and that’s why he lashes out in angry fits. He only knows that something is missing in his life, but can’t point out what it is. You can directly ask him if he is happy with you and if he says no, ask him what he would like you to do or change.

Maybe there are small things that he wants you to do for him and those could be enough for him to feel happier and more loved.

4. He didn’t have a good upbringing:

One of the sad possible explanations of why your husband gets angry over small things could be because he grew up in a dysfunctional toxic family, where communicating in a healthy way was not an option.

This doesn’t excuse him from acting like this, but it’s always good to understand the reason behind it. Make sure you learn as much as possible about your husband’s upbringing, directly from him, preferably.

You can make him see that some social behaviors aren’t normal nor healthy and give him a safe space where he can talk without feeling judged. However, there’s always the option of seeking professional help. A good psychiatrist can help him see exactly what went wrong in his upbringing and help him break that cycle.

5. You have been experiencing communication issues:

Marriage requires a team effort and good communication all the time. We all experience many feelings throughout the day, and, normally, we aren’t always able to cope with them alone.

That’s when you, as his partner, should help your husband communicate better. If he comes to you because he needs to talk about something and how it makes him feel, don’t shut him down.

Sometimes, your husband just needs your point of view on a topic and for you to tell him that you support him and you’ve got his back. Avoid at all costs being dismissive. It’s when you don’t value your husband’s feelings that he tries to bottle them up and a time comes when he explodes in fits of anger over small things.

6. He needs to feel like he is in control constantly:

If you married a control freak, you should know it by now. Some people feel safe in environments they can control and anxious in ones where everything is out of their control.

This shouldn’t be something that hinders your life, but if it starts to, don’t delay bringing it up to your husband. Tell him that he is being so perfectionist over small day-to-day things and that one small deviation from the rules he sets could make him angry. Maybe he didn’t notice this pattern.

So make him see that there’s no need to be worried about being safe when he is with you and reassure him that you are there to make him feel less vulnerable every time he needs it. In the end, you can also check this article on how to deal with a know-it-all husband if that the real problem that your spouse has.

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