After having addressed why you should not accept the bare minimum in a relationship or when dating, today we discuss the things you cannot forgive! In fact, there are certain things that you cannot forgive in a relationship.
The list might vary from person to person, but there are some things that you just cannot let go of and that most people agree are deal-breakers.
These are things that are commonly referred to as being unforgivable in a relationship. Things husbands do to destroy a marriage. Things a wife would only do if she’s done with the relationship. And, things that even when forgiven may cause permanent irreparable damage to the relationship, so be aware!
5 things you can choose not to accept on yourself in a relationship:
1- Emotional cheating:
It can be difficult to forgive someone for cheating on you, no matter how many times they say they’re sorry and promise never to do it again.
It doesn’t matter how many times they try to prove themselves to you and repent, one thing is for sure: they will never be able to undo the past. There will always be a moment in time when they were in an exclusive and committed relationship with you but thinking of or dreaming about someone else. And, nobody deserves that!
In fact, some people are more forgiving of physical cheating that was just “for fun” or skin-deep, rather than emotional cheating. That’s because emotional cheating means that they fantasized, wished for, and thought romantically of another person while being in your presence, sharing your bed, and pretending to mentally be present with you.
The sad thing about emotional cheating is that they could’ve lit the spark of the relationship with you instead of all they were after is some excitement and thrill. But, they have consciously decided that you’re not fit for that task and proceeded to betray your trust.
It is a known fact that a woman leaves mentally before physically, anyway. So if your girl or spouse has been showing a lack of interest in the relationship, or cheated emotionally already then you can be sure that she’ll be leaving the relationship behind in no time!
2- Physical cheating:
Physical cheating is one of the most unforgivable things that could happen in a relationship, sadly. It’s difficult to understand why someone would give up on a relationship that they have been in for years for someone else. Unfortunately, it happens and it’s not always easy to forgive that person.
Physical cheating is a traumatic event for most people and it can have lasting effects on your mental health and self-esteem. Check out this article on how being cheated on changes a person, and this one on what cheating says about a person.
If you have made the mistake of having cheated and didn’t tell your partner about it, then check out this article for a few steps you could take to forgive yourself, find peace and be better.
3- Telling your secrets:
It is not easy to forgive a partner who has hurt you by telling your secrets. It can be even harder if you warned them about not telling a soul.
If you are in a relationship with someone and they have hurt you in this way, it can be hard to forgive them. A significant other is a person that we should be able to trust with our secrets and to provide us with privacy. That’s because without choosing to, we always end up sharing more than what we’d want to with a partner, given the fact that they live with us, share the same bed and day-to-day life.
So for your partner to take some information about you that you’d rather keep private and share it with someone, they need to be inconsiderate.
Telling your secrets is an act of betrayal and puts you in a vulnerable situation that comes with the risk of being judged by others. It is not easy to forgive. Check out our article on how to forgive a partner that divulged your secrets, if that’s the case for you.
4- Talking about you negatively, behind your back:
If your partner has been speaking poorly about you behind their back and you find out, it’s not going to be easy to forgive them. Especially since you will know for a fact that that’s their true opinion of you and they’re just pretending to love, cherish and respect you for whatever reasons when in your presence.
This is a tricky situation because our partners are the ones we should be able to trust to defend us in our absence and defend our dignity and honor. If your partner has done something like this, it might be brutal. Speaking ill of you behind your back is not an ideal way for your partner to express their feelings.
If you wish to forgive something like this, then it is important that you understand why it happened. Then, provide a safe space for your partner to be able to communicate and talk to you openly about the things they dislike and would like to change, without getting crucified. It’s better to talk out your issues one to another directly.
This way, you will find a middle ground, rather than tell everyone about how horrible the person you choose to be with and stay with every single day is. As, it will make you look unintelligent, hypocritical, and untrustworthy in the eyes of whoever you’re speaking to, too.
5- Disrespecting you in public:
Fighting and killing one another behind closed doors is one thing but disrespecting one another in public is another. Arguing in private when occasional or even rare is okay and healthy to do for any couple. However, things start getting out of hand if your partner starts wanting to address delicate and sensitive topics in public.
Not only that, if your partner ever disrespects you, calls you names, or treats you badly in front of others, it can be heartbreaking. It can make you look like a fool and a joke because the same person you rooted for, believed in, and chose to be your special someone turned around and is humiliating you in front of others.
This can not only be devastating but it mill make you feel small, stupid, and like a horrible judge of people in front of everyone who witness such an insult.