The no-contact rule is useful if your relationship was so bad in the end that you feel the need to cut that person from your life completely.
Besides, it will help speed the healing process, for both of you. However, the entire point of such a rule is just to make sure you get enough space to help you heal and recover from a toxic ex.
So if you applied the no-contact rule after a break-up and wonder if it’s working; and whether your ex is starting to miss you already or not; then here are some signs to look out for.
Signs that the no-contact rule is working:
1- They try to call you:
First of all, it’s important that you found closure with your ex and that you stopped finding excuses to stay in touch for any reason, from the moment you broke up forward. Otherwise, they will be confused by your complete silence.
However, even knowing that you agreed on not talking to each other at all, your ex might start to feel a little restless about it. So much so, that they will try to find any reason to hear your voice and call you. Of course, they are aware that the no-contact rule still stands so they will call you, let the phone ring a few times but then hang up or call you at the weirdest hours of the day.
They expect you not to pick up, but they also expect you to see the notification of a missed call and return the call. If you feel the need to send them a short text explaining that you still aren’t interested in listening to what they have to say do it, but no more than that.
2. They try to interact with you through social media:
Leaving a like in one of your posts or reacting to something you posted on social media is a subtle way for your ex to make themselves seen. The no-contact rule also implies that you stop being part of each other’s lives, and if your ex still wants to feel seen by you, it means that they are afraid to be forgotten by you.
It’s a less intrusive way to contact you, but it still makes it more difficult to uphold the rule. If it becomes too insistent, for example, if they are always the first to interact with your posts and they even send you a DM, consider blocking them from your social media accounts. Feel free to warn them that you plan to do so, but do not hesitate if it becomes too much to bear.
3. They ask friends in common about you:
The truth is, as worried as your ex might be about you, they are even more desperate to get updates from you directly. Since they figured out that they can’t do that or talk to you directly they could try and do the next best thing, which is to ask a friend you have in common about you.
If you have friends in common and they remained your good friends after the breakup, don’t hesitate to talk to them about it. Warn them that your ex tried to contact you and since they couldn’t get anything directly from you, they will try to talk to your friends next.
If your friends tell you that your ex already took that route, ask them not to disclose anything about you to them. If they are your friends and they truly care about you, they will have no problem doing that.
4. They send you messages that come off as needy:
At their first attempts, your ex might sound very sweet and want a conciliation even if they are aware of the no-contact rule. But if you never reply to them, their mood is going to change. That’s when you know that the no-contact rule is working.
Your ex will try to say anything to get your attention, and above all, to make you get back to them. They might say that they are very disappointed in you and that they were wrong about you all along, just to taunt you. However, it may come to more extreme situations that involve threats on their side.
They might threaten to tell your secrets to everyone who cares to listen or turn your friends against you. In this case, tell them that there’s nothing they could say or do that can harm your other relationships and that you are going to block them, and do it.
5. You feel more at peace:
If you ended things, it’s probably because you weren’t good for each other. The no-contact rule can help you get rid of a toxic ex rather than be threatened back into a relationship that’s abusive and unhealthy.
After a while, you will start to feel more relaxed, even if it’s unintentional because you are starting to leave the problems of your relationship behind you and finally moving on.
You are now able to feel a new kind of inner peace you didn’t feel before, which eventually will lead to full happiness. In the end, you can also check this article out for signs that you’re successfully healing after a break-up.