Relationships don’t always work out and there are many different reasons for that. However, if your relationships never last, it’s important to make an assessment. Why? Because that’s a pattern and there’s an underlying issue keeping your relationships from succeeding.
Of course, it’s not always easy to identify whatever may be going on. It requires a lot of introspection and sometimes even professional guidance from a counselor. Today, we want to help you see what might be going on so you can take action.
To do that, we will discuss 5 possible reasons why your relationships never last. This is meant to help you think about your past relationships so you can understand what went wrong. Maybe you have unresolved issues holding you back or leading you to choose bad partners. Whatever it is, you can work through it!
5 Possible explanations for why your relationships never last:
1- You don’t know how to say “no”:
You’d be amazed by the number of people who don’t know how to say “no” to their partners or in general. However, that behavior is not sustainable in the long run and you’re doing yourself a disservice every time you say “yes” when you really want to say “no.”
In relationships, it’s sometimes awkward to say “no” because you want your partner to be happy. But it’s important to remember that healthy relationships require compromise. Saying “no” helps you set boundaries, stand up for yourself, and exercise your autonomy.
When you don’t do that, the relationship becomes one-sided and it will eventually end. Saying “no” is perfectly okay, so it’s time you learn how to do it.
2- You don’t enforce your boundaries:
Setting healthy boundaries is a must for any relationship, but especially for romantic relationships. However, setting your boundaries means nothing if you’re not willing to enforce them.
Additionally, if you’re always setting boundaries and never enforcing them, you’re teaching your partner not to take you seriously.
That will lead to a complete lack of respect for you, which will eventually erode your relationship. Though it may feel uncomfortable, enforcing your boundaries from the first moment they are crossed is essential. It will show your partner their actions have consequences and it’s not okay to ignore your boundaries or limits.
3- You grew up around unhealthy relationships:
Whether we are aware of it or not, we are extremely influenced by our unconscious mind. This is particularly true when it comes to making decisions within your relationship. The people we choose to date or the relationships we choose to get into; are influenced by the relationships we grew up around.
Why? Because we learn from our environment. So, if you grew up around unhealthy relationships, those learned patterns lead us to make bad choices. That’s simply because that’s our “normal” and what we’re familiar with; maybe we don’t know any better or we didn’t see it around us while growing up.
Once you recognize you never had good relationship models, you need to unlearn all that and learn what a healthy relationship is like so you can make better, healthier decisions in your love life.
4- You date emotionally immature people:
If you’re someone who assumes that emotional maturity is consistent in everyone, it’s easy to end up dating emotionally immature people. When you pay attention, it’s not difficult to notice when a potential partner still has a lot of learning to do in the emotional department.
Just because you meet someone attractive, well-educated, smart, charming, who has a good job, or who is a bit older than the guys you usually date, doesn’t mean they’re emotionally mature enough.
If your partners are never comfortable talking about their feelings, opening up, problem-solving, etc., it’s no wonder your relationships fail. Check this article out later for more signs that your partner is emotionally immature.
5- You set unrealistic expectations:
When you jump into a relationship too quickly or you don’t exercise good judgment to choose a partner, you may find yourself stuck. When that happens, we think we can make things work even if we know this person is not the right fit for us. As a result, we set unrealistic expectations for our partners and we hope they somehow meet our standards.
When they don’t, it doesn’t take long for the relationship to fully disintegrate. We simply can’t expect other people to act beyond their capabilities.
This is why it’s important to take your time! Choose your partner wisely by getting to know them first. Once you determine your values align and they are a good match, you can move into the next stage. Don’t rush it.
If you’re stuck in a pattern where your relationships never work out, it could be linked to the choices of partners that you make or your unconscious behaviors.
It’s not always easy to pinpoint the issue, so we hope we could help with the few reasons listed above. Once you identify what’s wrong and you work through it to grow as a person, you will enjoy healthier relationships and break the pattern in your love life.
Until then, maybe if you catch yourself sabotaging your relationships unconsciously every time you’re in a happy one, then check this article instead.