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5 Reasons why your ex is checking up on you

5 Reasons why your ex is checking up on you

When a relationship ends, it’s very difficult to accept that your ex-partner won’t be in our lives anymore. Especially not if the relationship was long-term. However, it’s not always the case that exes just stay fully out of each other lives. Sometimes, an ex might want to check up on you from time to time. 

Now, that may be a little confusing. You start to wonder, why is my ex checking up on me? Well, there are many reasons why they might be doing that. Today, we will explore 5 possible reasons why your ex might be doing this to help you make sense of it. 

Keep in mind that just because your ex is checking up on you doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a chance for reconciliation. Especially if that’s not something you want. You have to be patient, respectful, and protect your energy and well-being by placing the boundaries you think are necessary.

5 Reasons your ex might be checking up on you:

1- They want to know how you’re doing:

When you spend a lot of time with someone and you shared an emotional connection for so long, chances are you won’t forget one another overnight. For better or worse, every relationship teaches you something and that person becomes a part of your history. 

If your ex is checking up on you, they might be doing it to see how you’re doing after the breakup. They might want to know how you’re handling things and how you feel about the breakup. They still care about you and want to know how your life is going without them. 

2- They miss you:

It’s not uncommon for exes to miss each other. After all, you shared a lot of good times together and you loved one another. It’s not easy to run from that feeling, so it could be why your ex is reaching out to you. They just want to hear from you in any way they can.

We would say that’s a lot healthier than them trying to bury their emotions. They could be feeling nostalgic and that’s completely normal. You might feel the same way and it would be healthy for you to reach out if the opportunity is there. However, both of you need to let go of the attachment because you both need to move on. 

3- They are lonely:

One of the most difficult parts about breakups is that you have to learn to be by yourself again. That process can make you feel lonely. So, if your ex is reaching out, it might be because that new feeling of loneliness is getting to them. Some people are more equipped than others to deal with that. 

If they don’t have the tools to handle it on their own, they could reach out. Ending a relationship can be a big loss and you both have to grieve to heal properly. It’s not uncommon for either party to reach out to the other for support. That’s because you feel like they’re the only one who understands. 

4- They might be feeling jealous:

If you’ve started dating again and your ex reaches out, it could be because they’re feeling jealous. You’ve started to move on but they may still be processing the breakup, so it can be difficult for them to accept that. They may be curious to know what you’re up to. 

Perhaps they’re trying to pry and see how you feel about the person you’re dating. If that’s the way the conversation is going, you need to set boundaries if you think that’s necessary. It doesn’t do your ex-partner any good to have insight into your love life, plus you deserve your privacy. 

5- They’re trying to boost their ego:

It’s not uncommon for exes to have a desire to take the central stage in your mind. Especially if they notice that you’re moving on and perhaps dating other people. Them coming back into your life might be their way of being present and perhaps make you question your feelings. 

They could be checking up on you to see if you’re struggling in the dating world and see how hard it is for you to let go of them. That would be a huge boost to their ego and it might be what they’re after.

It’s up to you to decide how open you want to be with your ex if they suddenly take an interest in your life. But, before you do anything you could regret it might be worth it to check our list of boundaries for staying friends with an ex. 


It’s not uncommon for exes to check up on one another. There are many reasons behind that and it can be difficult to determine why they’re doing it.

However, your knowledge of this person can give you an indication of what they want. Based on that, you can decide how much communication, if any, you’re willing to maintain with your ex. This decision should be based on how you feel and what you need to move on. 

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