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5 Reasons why you lash out at your partner

5 Reasons why you lash out at your partner

We’ve all been there before; in the heat of the moment, we say things we don’t mean and lash out at our partner. But, lashing out at your partner is never a good idea.

Not only is it verbally or physically abusive, but it also damages the relationship. It can make your partner feel like they’re not worth your time or respect, and that’s not a foundation for a healthy partnership.

Is it okay to lash out at your partner?

Plus, it’s just plain ugly; nobody wants to be around someone who’s constantly yelling and fighting. Whatever the reason, lashing out is never an acceptable way to handle conflict in a relationship. Not only does it cause emotional pain for the other person, but it can also lead to further escalation of the conflict.

But what causes us to do this, and is it ever justified? If you’re wondering, why you’re lashing out at your partner then you have come to the right place. Read on. Here we provide you with 5 reasons why you may lash out at your partner.

5 Reasons why you keep lashing out at your partner:

1. You’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out:

First and foremost, life can be chaotic and we tend to lash out at our partners because they’re the closest to us. It’s not right, but it happens. In fact, when we’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, we often take it out on the people who are closest to us.

Our partner is usually the one who bears the brunt of our frustration, even though they may not be the cause of our stress. If we can’t manage our stress in a healthy way, it can lead to serious problems in our relationship. We may start to feel resentful toward our partners, and they may start to feel like they can’t do anything right.

If you find yourself lashing out at your partner, try to take a step back and understand why you’re feeling that way. Are you stressed out from work or school? Are you worried about money or your relationship? Once you figure out what’s causing your stress, you can start to deal with it in a more constructive way.

Talk to your partner about what’s bothering you, or take some time for yourself to relax and de-stress. Lashing out may seem like the easy way out, but it’s not worth damaging your relationship.

2) You’re feeling insecure or threatened:

Secondly, when you’re feeling insecure and threatened in a relationship, it can be tempting to lash out at your partner. For example, if you have unresolved issues from the past, you may find yourself projecting them onto your current partner. For instance: if you’re afraid of getting abandoned, you may accuse your partner of being too distant or uncommitted.

After all, if you can make them feel bad, then maybe you won’t have to feel so bad yourself. It can be a natural reaction to want to protect yourself when you feel like you’re in danger of losing something. And if you can regain control of the relationship, then maybe you’ll feel better.

But lashing out is never a good solution. It creates an atmosphere of mistrust and resentment, and it can lead to a cycle of attack and retaliation that is hard to break out of. In the end, all it does is damage the relationship and make both partners feel worse. It’s important to remember that relationships are built on trust and mutual respect.

When those things are gone, the relationship is in trouble. So instead of lashing out, try to talk to your partner about what’s making you feel insecure. Work together to find a solution that makes both of you happy.

3) You feel like you’re not being heard:

It’s frustrating when you feel like you’re not being heard by your partner. All you want to do is be heard and understood, but it seems like no matter how hard you try, your partner just isn’t getting it. So, you lash out. You yell and scream in an attempt to get their attention. And while this may temporarily get you the results you want, it’s not a healthy way to communicate. It only leads to further distance and misunderstanding.

Instead of lashing out, try expressing your needs calmly and directly. Take a time out for yourself to gain control of your emotions. Once composed, let your partner know how you’re feeling and why you need them to listen.

If they still don’t seem to be getting it, try reaching out to a therapist or counselor as a last resort who can help you both communicate more effectively and build a stronger relationship with your partner.

4) You feel they are constantly criticizing you:

It’s easy to lash out at your partner when you feel like they’re constantly criticizing you. After all, you have already been criticized enough by your parents, teachers, and bosses? We try our best to be good people, but sometimes it seems like no matter what we do, it’s never good enough for them.

In regards, to your partner, you feel they are supposed to be your place of safety and sanctity without any criticisms. However, when they also point out flaws in you. You give up and feel like you can’t win, and hence lash out in anger and frustration.

If this is something you’ve been struggling with, it’s important to understand that your partner is probably not trying to criticize you; they’re just trying to help you improve. Try to listen to their criticism with an open mind, and see if there’s any truth to what they’re saying. It might be tough at first, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.

If you still can’t seem to shake the feeling, maybe it’s time to have a talk with them about how their use of words is making you feel. Hopefully, they’ll be understanding and things will improve from there.

5) You’re holding onto resentment from past arguments:

Last but not least. If you find yourself getting into arguments with your partner more often than you’d like, it may be because you’re holding on to resentment from past disputes. It’s only natural to want to hold our partners accountable for the pain they’ve caused us, but it’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes.

If you’re unable to let go of the anger you’re feeling, it will fester and grow, and you’ll start lashing out at your partner for things that have nothing to do with the current situation. Eventually, this will destroy your relationship. ​

Instead of lashing out the next time you’re upset, try to take a step back and see things from your partner’s perspective. Check this article out for more ways to manage your anger during arguments. Communicate openly and honestly about how you’re feeling, and work together to find a resolution. By learning to let go of the past, you can give your relationship a chance to grow and thrive.

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